7 Habits That Make People Dislike You In Seconds

Charisma on Command
12 Dec 202210:51
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe video script discusses seven charisma habits that can make people dislike you, including vulnerability dropping, conversational narcissism, question cutting, trampling boundaries, making inappropriate jokes, giving unsolicited advice, and instant aggression. It emphasizes the importance of being aware of these habits to avoid negative social interactions and suggests a video program, Charisma University, designed to improve social skills and build positive relationships.

Takeaways
  • 🙅 Avoid making jokes when someone shares something vulnerable; it can make them feel hurt and unsafe.
  • 💬 Be cautious of 'conversational narcissism' – constantly relating discussions back to oneself can be off-putting.
  • 🚫 Do not interrupt after asking a question; allow the other person to finish their response.
  • 🤔 Be mindful of 'question cutting'; it's frustrating and can dominate the conversation.
  • 🛑 Respect boundaries in conversations; pushing too hard can lead to discomfort and conflict.
  • 😂 Be careful with humor, especially with new acquaintances; certain jokes can backfire.
  • 👍 When teasing, focus on strengths rather than insecurities to create a positive atmosphere.
  • 💡 Offer advice only when solicited; unsolicited advice can come across as condescending or insulting.
  • 🔥 Manage 'instant aggression'; responding harshly to minor offenses can escalate conflicts unnecessarily.
  • 🌟 Practice active listening and validation; it's crucial for building rapport and trust.
  • 📈 Consider personal development programs like 'Charisma University' to enhance social skills and confidence.
Q & A

  • What is the first bad charisma habit discussed in the video?

    -The first bad charisma habit discussed is vulnerability dropping, which involves making a joke when someone opens up vulnerably.

  • Why should humor be used cautiously in emotionally charged conversations?

    -Humor should be used cautiously because it can make the person sharing their emotions feel hurt and unsafe, as it may come across as an attempt to change the tone without acknowledging their feelings.

  • What is conversational narcissism and how does it affect communication?

    -Conversational narcissism is the habit of relating everything back to oneself and trying to put the focus on oneself. It can repel people as it shows a lack of interest in others and makes the conversation all about oneself.

  • How can question cutting be frustrating in a conversation?

    -Question cutting is frustrating because it involves asking a question and then interrupting the answer, which prevents the other person from expressing their thoughts fully and feels disrespectful.

  • Why is it important to respect boundaries in a conversation?

    -Respecting boundaries is important because it shows respect for the other person's feelings and experiences. Ignoring boundaries can lead to discomfort and potentially ruin the relationship or conversation.

  • What is the risk of making jokes about sensitive topics with people you're not close to?

    -The risk is that it can be offensive and damaging to the relationship, as people may not share the same level of comfort with dark humor, especially in the early stages of getting to know each other.

  • How can unsolicited advice be perceived negatively?

    -Unsolicited advice can be perceived as insulting or condescending because it may imply that the person giving the advice knows better or is in a position to judge the recipient's situation.

  • What is the best way to give advice without making someone feel insulted?

    -The best way is to ask if the person wants your advice before giving it. This shows respect for their autonomy and increases the likelihood that they will appreciate and consider your input.

  • Why should instant aggression in response to perceived offenses be avoided?

    -Instant aggression can escalate conflicts and damage relationships, as it often stems from assuming negative intent. It's better to respond with a soft boundary and give the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise.

  • What is the main benefit of avoiding bad charisma habits?

    -Avoiding bad charisma habits can lead to better first impressions, improved work relationships, more friends, and higher self-esteem, as it allows one to be their authentic self in a way that is likable and respectful.

  • How does the video program Charisma University aim to help individuals?

    -Charisma University aims to help individuals by providing them with the tools and techniques to build fantastic habits that enhance their social interactions, leading to more friends, better work relationships, and increased self-confidence.

  • What is the guarantee offered by Charisma University for its participants?

    -Charisma University offers a 60-day full refund guarantee if the participants try the program and do not find it to their satisfaction, allowing them to assess its value without financial risk.

Outlines
00:00
😅 Seven Bad Charisma Habits

This paragraph discusses seven common charisma habits that can make people dislike you. It starts by highlighting vulnerability dropping, where humor is used to deflect from emotional moments, as illustrated by a soldier's story. It then addresses conversational narcissism, where individuals relate everything back to themselves, using a clip from 'The View' as an example. The paragraph also touches on question cutting, where people interrupt answers, and trampling boundaries, emphasizing the importance of respecting personal limits and avoiding unsolicited advice. Lastly, it mentions the pitfalls of making insensitive jokes and the negative impact of instant aggression, advising to assume positive intent until proven otherwise.

05:00
🤔 The Art of Joking and Boundaries

This paragraph delves into the nuances of humor and personal boundaries. It warns against making jokes about sensitive topics, especially with new acquaintances, as it can lead to anger or discomfort. The segment uses examples of dark humor and its appropriateness among close friends to illustrate the point. It also discusses the importance of respecting boundaries and moving on from uncomfortable topics, even without a boundary set. The paragraph highlights the potential for well-meaning mistakes, such as giving unsolicited advice, and suggests asking for consent before sharing personal opinions. It concludes with the dangers of instant aggression and the benefits of assuming positive intent in conversations.

10:01
🎉 Transforming Charisma Habits

The final paragraph shifts focus to the potential for positive change in one's charisma habits. It acknowledges that few people intentionally make others dislike them and that awareness of bad habits can lead to significant improvements. The paragraph introduces 'Charisma University,' a video program designed to enhance social skills, increase confidence, and improve relationships. It shares testimonials from participants who have experienced personal and professional growth through the program. The speaker encourages viewers to explore the course, which offers a 60-day money-back guarantee, and promises that with dedication, noticeable changes in social interactions can be achieved within a week.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Vulnerability Dropping
Vulnerability dropping refers to the act of making light or a joke when someone shares something deeply personal or emotional. In the video, it's highlighted as a charisma habit that can make people feel hurt and unsafe. An example is shown where a soldier's story about saving a friend is met with humor, which can change the tone of the conversation negatively.
💡Conversational Narcissism
This term describes the tendency to constantly shift the conversation back to oneself, making everything about 'me.' In the context of the video, it's portrayed as a charisma-killing habit. An instance from 'The View' is used to illustrate how a discussion about a serious topic like the refugee crisis is redirected to a personal anecdote about travel plans.
💡Shift Response
A shift response is a conversational technique where someone changes the subject to themselves immediately after asking a question. The video emphasizes that while it's not always negative, overuse can make others feel unheard. An example of this is when someone shares workplace struggles and the response is about the listener's own job issues instead of showing empathy.
💡Question Cutting
Question cutting involves asking a question and then interrupting the answer, which is considered rude and dismissive. The video uses a clip to demonstrate how this can be frustrating in conversation, especially when the speaker is eager to share their thoughts or experiences.
💡Trampling Boundaries
Trampling boundaries refers to the act of disrespecting personal limits or topics that someone is uncomfortable discussing. In the video, it's cited as a charisma habit to avoid, with examples showing how pressing on sensitive issues can lead to discomfort and a breakdown in communication.
💡Dark Humor
Dark humor is a type of comedy that deals with serious, disturbing, or morbid subject matters in a way that is meant to be funny. The video advises caution with dark humor, especially with new acquaintances, as it can be offensive or misunderstood. An example is given where a joke about a friend's death is met with applause, showing that the context and the relationship between the individuals matter.
💡Unsolicited Advice
Giving unsolicited advice is when someone offers guidance or suggestions without being asked. The video identifies this as a charisma habit that can lead to resentment, as seen in the example where financial advice is given to musicians, causing them to feel insulted rather than helped.
💡Instant Aggression
Instant aggression is a reactive behavior where someone responds to perceived slights or offenses with hostility. The video explains that this can create a negative and uncomfortable atmosphere, as demonstrated by a first date scenario where a simple guess about someone's age leads to an aggressive response.
💡Charisma University
Charisma University is a video program mentioned in the video that aims to help individuals improve their social skills and charisma. It is presented as a solution for those who wish to avoid the charisma-killing habits discussed in the video and instead develop habits that foster positive relationships and self-esteem.
💡Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a psychological concept used in the video to illustrate the effective way of giving feedback or making jokes that highlight someone's strengths rather than weaknesses. An example from the video shows how teasing someone's strengths can be a likable way to interact, as opposed to focusing on their insecurities.
💡Boundaries
Boundaries in the context of the video refer to the personal limits or topics that individuals set for themselves in conversations and relationships. Respecting these boundaries is emphasized as crucial for maintaining positive interactions, as shown in the examples where crossing them leads to discomfort and conflict.
Highlights

The video discusses seven bad charisma habits that can make people dislike you.

Vulnerability dropping, or making jokes when someone opens up emotionally, can make the person feel hurt and unsafe.

Conversational narcissism, or relating everything back to oneself, can shift the focus onto you and away from the speaker.

Using a shift response to change the subject to oneself can be perceived as self-centered and dismissive.

Question cutting, or interrupting after asking a question, can be frustrating and seen as hogging the conversational spotlight.

Trampling boundaries by asking inappropriate questions can lead to discomfort and offense.

Making jokes that accidentally anger someone can ruin a first impression or relationship.

Teasing someone about their strengths instead of their insecurities can be a more likable approach.

Giving unsolicited advice can come off as insulting or presumptuous, even with good intentions.

Instant aggression in response to perceived slights can create unnecessary hostility and discomfort.

Assuming positive intent until proven otherwise can lead to more pleasant interactions.

The video provides examples from various TV shows and interviews to illustrate the charisma habits discussed.

Charisma University is promoted as a program to help improve social skills and build confidence.

The video offers a 60-day refund policy for Charisma University, indicating a confidence in the program's effectiveness.

Testimonials are shared to highlight the transformative impact of Charisma University on participants' lives.

The video aims to make viewers aware of common charisma mistakes to help them avoid them and improve their relationships.

Transcripts

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Charisma HabitsSocial SkillsVulnerabilityEmpathyConversation MistakesBoundariesHumorAdviceAggression