7 "NICE GIRL" Habits ALL WOMEN Must Break! | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
TLDRIn this insightful video, Mat Boggs from the Brave Thinking Institute's Love and Relationships Division addresses the misconception that 'nice girls' diminish their attractiveness to men. He outlines seven habits that women should break to foster genuine self-respect and ignite attraction, such as avoiding instant relationships, not canceling plans for men, and not seeking approval at the expense of self-worth. Boggs emphasizes the importance of maintaining boundaries, self-esteem, and integrity to create lasting, meaningful connections.
Takeaways
- 😀 Men and women both have preconceived notions about 'nice guys' and 'bad boys', which may not reflect the actual desires in a relationship.
- 🤔 The idea that 'nice guys finish last' and that 'women want bad boys' is a stereotype that doesn't hold true for everyone.
- 💡 There is an allure to the 'bad boy' image, but it's more about finding a balance of niceness with other attractive qualities.
- 🚫 Women should avoid 'nice girl' habits that can diminish their self-respect and attraction, such as being overly accommodating or lacking self-esteem.
- 🔑 Breaking these habits can lead to a more respectful and attractive dynamic in relationships.
- 💌 Mat Boggs, the founder of the Love and Relationships Division at the Brave Thinking Institute, emphasizes empowering individuals in their love lives.
- 🚫 Avoid saying 'yes' to an instant relationship, as it can be off-putting and show a lack of self-respect.
- 🗓 Don't cancel your plans for a man; maintaining your own schedule and commitments shows integrity and makes your time more valuable.
- 🤝 Focus on being authentic and let the man earn your approval rather than trying to please him from the start.
- 🛑 Never feel pressured into physical intimacy before you're ready; maintaining boundaries and standards earns respect and deeper connection.
- 💰 Avoid investing more in the relationship than the man does; let him show his interest and value the relationship.
- ❌ Be cautious with second chances; they should be earned and not given out of a sense of obligation or identity as a 'nice girl'.
- 💡 Avoid self-diminishing behavior, both in how you view yourself and how you value your time, to increase attraction and self-worth.
Q & A
What is the main message of the video by Mat Boggs?
-The main message of the video is to help women break certain 'nice girl' habits that diminish attraction in relationships and instead cultivate self-respect and confidence.
Why does Mat Boggs suggest that 'nice guys finish last' and 'all women want a bad boy' are misconceptions?
-Mat Boggs suggests these are misconceptions because, in reality, women want a partner who is both nice and has qualities that make him attractive. Similarly, men also have preferences for qualities that go beyond being just nice.
What is the first 'nice girl' habit Mat Boggs recommends breaking?
-The first 'nice girl' habit to break is saying yes to an instant relationship without truly knowing the person.
Why is canceling plans to accommodate a man's schedule considered a 'nice girl' habit to break?
-Canceling plans to accommodate a man's schedule is considered a habit to break because it sends the message that you do not respect your own priorities and commitments, which can diminish his respect for you.
What does Mat Boggs mean by 'investing more in the relationship than he does'?
-Investing more in the relationship than he does means putting in more effort to maintain and progress the relationship out of fear that it will fail if you don't, which can stem from insecurity.
How does giving undeserved second chances impact a relationship?
-Giving undeserved second chances can lower your self-respect and make the other person less likely to value you and the relationship, as they haven't earned the right to a second chance.
What is the importance of 'self-diminishing behavior' in the context of relationships?
-Self-diminishing behavior, such as downplaying your attractiveness or time, reduces your self-worth and attractiveness in a relationship. It's important to break these habits and value yourself.
What is Mat Boggs' advice regarding physical intimacy in a new relationship?
-Mat Boggs advises against saying yes to physical intimacy, such as sex or fooling around, before you're ready. It's important to maintain your standards and boundaries to ensure respect and deeper connection.
What can be a consequence of trying to get a man to like you before deciding if you like him?
-The consequence can be that you may end up pleasing him at the expense of your own authenticity and self-worth, which can lead to a lack of genuine connection and respect.
How can maintaining your plans and commitments benefit your relationship with a man?
-Maintaining your plans and commitments demonstrates integrity and self-respect, making you more attractive and ensuring that he values the time you do spend together more highly.
What is the significance of valuing your own time in a relationship?
-Valuing your own time in a relationship shows self-respect and communicates that your time is just as important as his, which increases his respect and attraction towards you.
What should a woman do if she notices she's trying to bridge the gap in a relationship out of fear?
-If a woman notices she's bridging the gap out of fear, she should lean back and allow the man to invest and pursue, which helps establish a healthier dynamic and allows her to receive.
Outlines
😌 Breaking 'Nice Girl' Habits for Self-Respect and Attraction
Mat Boggs, founder of the Love and Relationships Division at the Brave Thinking Institute, introduces the concept that certain 'nice girl' habits can actually decrease attraction. He explains that being overly nice can signal a lack of self-respect, and emphasizes the importance of eliminating these habits to ignite attraction and earn respect. Boggs outlines seven habits that women should break to improve their love lives, starting with avoiding instant relationships and not rushing into commitments without truly knowing the other person.
🤔 Prioritizing Self-Integrity Over Convenience
The second paragraph discusses the importance of maintaining one's own schedule and commitments, even when a romantic interest invites last-minute plans. Boggs argues that canceling existing plans for a man can send a message of low self-respect and lack of integrity. Instead, he advises women to honor their existing commitments and suggest alternative dates, which can demonstrate self-respect and make the eventual time spent together more valuable.
💡 Authenticity Over People-Pleasing in Dating
In the third paragraph, Boggs highlights the issue of trying to win a man's approval before determining if he is a good match. He shares an epiphany from a client who realized she was focusing on pleasing men rather than being her authentic self. Boggs encourages women to value their worth, be genuine, and let men pursue them, which can create a dynamic where masculine energy is attracted to the woman's self-confidence.
🚫 Saying No to Premature Intimacy
The fourth paragraph addresses the habit of women agreeing to physical intimacy before they are ready, often out of fear of losing the man's interest. Boggs stresses that men do not value a woman more for engaging in physical activities without a deep connection. He advises women to maintain their standards and let men earn their trust and respect before engaging in deeper relationships.
💰 Investing Equitably in Relationships
Boggs points out in the fifth paragraph that women often fall into the trap of investing more in a relationship than their male counterparts, which can stem from insecurity. He advises against this 'nice girl' behavior, suggesting that it's healthier for both parties to invest equally in the relationship, allowing the man to pursue and show his interest, which can increase his appreciation for the relationship.
🔄 Earning Second Chances Through Genuine Change
The sixth paragraph focuses on the difference between forgiveness and giving second chances. Boggs emphasizes that forgiveness is about releasing resentment, while a second chance must be earned through genuine change and behavior that meets the woman's standards. He encourages women to offer second chances only when men have demonstrated they deserve them.
🌟 Valuing Self-Worth and Time
In the final paragraph, Boggs discusses self-diminishing behavior, both obvious and subtle, that can reduce attraction. He advises against self-deprecating comments and emphasizes the importance of valuing one's own time and not putting others' convenience above one's own. By recognizing and breaking these habits, women can increase their self-esteem, self-worth, and the attraction in their relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Stigma
💡Attraction
💡Pleasing
💡Self-esteem
💡Instant Relationship
💡Scarcity
💡Authenticity
💡Respect
💡Second Chances
💡Self-dimishing Behavior
💡Investment
Highlights
The idea that men are attracted to a certain 'bad boy' image is a common stigma, but it's not universally true as women also desire nice qualities in a partner.
There's an expectation that women should be 'nice', but being too nice can actually diminish the level of attraction for men.
Nice girls may not respect themselves as much as they should, which can be a turn-off for men seeking a partner.
Eliminating certain nice girl habits can show self-respect and ignite attraction in men.
Seven habits of 'nice girls' are identified that should be broken to improve attraction and self-respect.
The first habit to break is the tendency to jump into an instant relationship without getting to know the person first.
Canceling plans with friends to accommodate a man's schedule can send the wrong message about one's priorities and respect for commitments.
Trying to get a man to like you before deciding if you like him is a habit that stems from a lack of self-confidence.
Saying yes to sex before you're ready is a common mistake made by women seeking to please men, which can lead to a lack of respect and attraction.
Investing more in a relationship than the man does can be a sign of insecurity and can diminish the value of the relationship.
Giving undeserved second chances is a habit that should be reconsidered, as forgiveness does not automatically equate to granting another opportunity.
Self-diminishing behavior, such as self-deprecation, can reduce attraction and should be avoided.
Subtle self-diminishing behaviors, like undervaluing one's own time, can also impact attraction and self-worth.
The importance of owning one's worth, beauty, and time to increase respect and attraction in a relationship.
The video encourages viewers to reflect on their own habits and share their experiences in the comments section.
Mat Boggs, the founder of the Love and Relationships Division, emphasizes empowering individuals to create a life they love, including their love life.
The video is part of a series aiming to empower viewers in their love lives, suggesting a broader mission beyond just the discussed habits.
Transcripts
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