Living With #OCD | Samantha Pena | TEDxYouth@TCS
TLDRThe speaker shares a personal account of living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), challenging common misconceptions that reduce it to mere tidiness or aesthetics. They describe their own experiences with symmetry, perfectionism, and time management as manifestations of OCD, detailing the daily rituals and thought processes that consume their life. Rather than seeking to eliminate their OCD through medication, the speaker embraces cognitive behavioral therapy to better manage their condition, which they refer to as an 'obsessive-compulsive advantage,' highlighting the positive aspects and personal growth that can arise from living with this disorder.
Takeaways
- 🎪 The speaker's childhood experience at the circus led to a realization of a need for symmetry, which is a symptom of OCD.
- 🤔 The speaker's automatic reaction to physical pain was a feeling of loss in the opposite arm, indicating a deep-seated need for balance.
- 🔄 The compulsion to achieve symmetry through repetitive actions is a common theme in the speaker's life, affecting daily activities.
- 🚫 The speaker avoids certain physical encounters and objects to maintain a sense of symmetry and balance.
- 📚 The speaker's perfectionism is evident in the meticulous organization and maintenance of school binders and notes.
- 📈 The speaker's time management is heavily influenced by OCD, with a structured approach to planning and distributing tasks.
- 🧘♂️ The speaker finds a sense of balance in life through their OCD, which they view as an advantage rather than a disability.
- 🌐 The concept of balance is not unique to the speaker but is a fundamental aspect of many cultures and philosophies.
- 💡 The speaker's OCD has contributed positively to their life by fostering habits of thoroughness, consistency, and adaptability.
- 💊 The speaker chose cognitive behavioral therapy over medication to manage their OCD, valuing the personal traits it has shaped.
- 🌟 The speaker advocates for a broader understanding of OCD and other anxiety disorders, recognizing their potential benefits alongside challenges.
Q & A
What was the childhood incident that led to the realization of the speaker's need for symmetry?
-The speaker's realization of needing symmetry began when they were eight years old at a circus. After an argument with their brother, they were shoved into a wheelchair ramp handlebar, which caused an imbalance in sensation between their arms. The speaker then repeatedly ran into the bar to make their arms feel the same.
How does the speaker describe the feeling of their obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)?
-The speaker describes the feeling of OCD as being underwater for an extended period, where the body naturally tells you that bad things will happen if you stay underwater. This feeling is not desirable and compels the speaker to seek symmetry and balance.
Why does the speaker believe that society often misinterprets OCD?
-The speaker believes society misinterprets OCD because it is often casually used as a joke or to describe a tidy space, like an organized closet or clean car. This trivializes the actual disorder, which is an anxiety disorder characterized by obsessions and compulsions that interfere with daily life.
What are the three main concepts that the speaker's OCD revolves around?
-The three main concepts that the speaker's OCD revolves around are symmetry, perfectionism, and time management.
How does the speaker's need for symmetry extend beyond physical objects?
-The speaker's need for symmetry extends beyond physical objects into their mental state. They avoid walking on lines, are uncomfortable with the sensation of grout between tiles, and require 'fixing' after any physical encounter, such as a pat on the back or a handshake.
What specific habits did the speaker develop in relation to their perfectionism?
-The speaker developed habits such as color-coding their binders, ensuring notes were aesthetically balanced, using the same handwriting, pen, and paper throughout the year, and retyping notes at home to maintain consistency and perfection.
How did the speaker's university experience differ from their high school experience in terms of managing their perfectionism?
-In university, the speaker did not have time to type up and iron their notes as they did in high school, which led to them stopping this behavior. This change negatively affected their grades.
What role does time management play in the speaker's life with OCD?
-Time management plays a significant role in the speaker's life with OCD as they meticulously plan their day and work distribution. They calculate the number of tasks and days to create a balanced weekly schedule, which helps to alleviate anxiety caused by impending deadlines.
How does the speaker view the balance that OCD brings to their life?
-The speaker views the balance that OCD brings to their life as a positive aspect. They believe that the need for balance is fundamental and that it guides them to lead a healthy life, despite it being a compulsion to satisfy their disorder.
What alternative did the speaker choose instead of medication to help manage their OCD?
-The speaker chose Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as an alternative to medication to help manage their OCD. They wanted to handle their OCD better and potentially embrace it, rather than eliminate it.
How does the speaker feel about the societal push for normalization and quick fixes like medication?
-The speaker feels that the societal push for normalization and quick fixes like medication is disheartening. They believe that anxiety disorders should not be seen as exclusively negative and that the benefits of these conditions should be appreciated.
Outlines
🤹♂️ Childhood Experience with Symmetry and OCD
The speaker recounts a childhood incident at the circus that led to an obsession with symmetry. After an argument with her brother, she felt a loss in her right arm when her left shoulder was injured. To regain balance, she repeatedly ran into the bar, causing bruises severe enough to require physiotherapy. This early experience with symmetry became a precursor to her obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which she later realized was a manifestation of anxiety. The speaker also critiques the common misinterpretation of OCD on social media, explaining that OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by obsessions and compulsions that interfere with daily life. Her personal OCD revolves around symmetry, perfectionism, and time management.
🔄 Struggling with Symmetry and Perfectionism in Daily Life
The speaker details the daily struggles she faces due to her OCD, focusing on the need for symmetry and perfectionism. She touches objects multiple times or avoids them altogether to maintain balance. This extends to avoiding lines on the ground and grout between tiles, and needing to 'fix' physical encounters with others. The speaker also discusses her perfectionism in school, where she spent hours ensuring her binders and notes were aesthetically pleasing and consistent. This perfectionism led to anxiety and a decline in her academic performance when she could no longer maintain these standards in university. Despite the challenges, she sees a need for balance in life and believes her OCD contributes to a balanced lifestyle.
⏱ Embracing OCD as an Advantage Through Adaptability and CBT
The speaker explores the positive aspects of her OCD, such as the discipline and consistency it instilled in her work ethic. She shares how her need for balance and organization has been beneficial in her academic and professional life. The speaker also discusses her decision to use an iPad for note-taking, which helped her maintain organization without the stress of physical notes. She has since shared this strategy with others, helping them adapt their learning styles. Furthermore, she talks about her choice to undergo cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) instead of taking medication for her OCD, emphasizing the importance of understanding and embracing the disorder rather than seeking a quick fix. The speaker concludes by challenging societal norms and the tendency to pathologize conditions like OCD, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of mental health.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡OCD
💡Symmetry
💡Perfectionism
💡Time Management
💡Compulsions
💡Anxiety
💡CBT
💡Balance
💡Misinterpretation
💡Adaptability
💡Stigma
Highlights
At eight years old, the speaker experienced a traumatic event at a circus that led to a lifelong obsession with symmetry.
The speaker's childhood incident with a wheelchair ramp handlebar resulted in a physical manifestation of a need for balance.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often misunderstood and trivialized in society, as demonstrated by Instagram posts.
OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by obsessions and compulsions that significantly interfere with daily life.
The speaker's personal OCD manifests in three main ways: symmetry, perfectionism, and time management.
A childhood theory of symmetry has persisted into adulthood, causing the speaker to touch objects multiple times for balance.
The speaker's avoidance of physical lines and sensations, such as grout lines and door handles, is a mental manifestation of their OCD.
Daily life involves avoiding lines, fixing physical encounters, and managing door handles and casual encounters to maintain symmetry.
Perfectionism in the speaker's life led to hours spent organizing binders and notes, which contributed to academic success.
The transition to university challenged the speaker's perfectionistic habits, impacting their academic performance.
The speaker's time management OCD involves meticulous planning and calculations to ensure a balanced workload.
Despite the challenges, the speaker sees their OCD as a form of balance that can be beneficial in many aspects of life.
The speaker advocates for a balanced life, drawing parallels between their OCD compulsions and traditional cultural values.
OCD has contributed positively to the speaker's life by enhancing their learning, adaptability, and work ethic.
The speaker chose cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) over medication to manage their OCD.
The speaker rejects the idea that anxiety disorders are exclusively negative and encourages appreciating their benefits.
The speaker prefers to view their OCD as an 'obsessive-compulsive advantage' rather than a disorder.
Transcripts
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