What OCD Is Like (for Me)

vlogbrothers
25 Jul 201703:50
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn this heartfelt video, the speaker candidly discusses their personal experience with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), emphasizing the invisible and exhausting nature of mental health struggles. They clarify that while OCD is often portrayed through visible behaviors in popular culture, the true challenge lies in the obsessive thought spirals that dominate their consciousness. The speaker shares their journey of writing 'Turtles all the Way Down,' a fictional story inspired by their own experiences with OCD, aiming to give form to the intangible experience of living with mental illness. They also encourage viewers to seek help for mental health concerns, offering resources and hope for recovery, and reminding viewers that mental illness is treatable and does not have to define one's life.

Takeaways
  • 🌟 The speaker emphasizes they are not a psychologist and encourages listening to experts on mental health.
  • 🗣️ Discussing mental health is challenging due to its non-sensory nature and the difficulty in describing it without using similes or metaphors.
  • 🔁 The speaker has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is often misunderstood and misrepresented in popular culture.
  • 🧠 They experience obsessive thought spirals, where unwanted intrusive thoughts take over their consciousness.
  • 😨 These thought spirals can be overwhelming and lead to a loss of control over thoughts, impacting daily activities like watching TV or reading.
  • 🤔 The speaker questions their sense of self and control when they cannot choose their own thoughts.
  • 🔍 Compulsive behaviors are coping mechanisms to deal with obsessive thoughts, not just eccentricities.
  • 🎭 Mental illness is both stigmatized and sometimes romanticized in media, which does not align with the speaker's personal experience.
  • 📚 The book 'Turtles all the Way Down' was inspired by the speaker's desire to give form to the non-sensory experience of living with thought spirals.
  • 👧 The protagonist, Aza Holmes, is a 16-year-old girl navigating life while dealing with her own thought spirals.
  • 🆘 The speaker urges anyone concerned about their mental health to seek help and provides resources, emphasizing that most mental illnesses are treatable.
Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the video?

    -The main topic of the video is the speaker's personal experience with mental health, specifically obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

  • Why does the speaker emphasize that they are not a psychologist?

    -The speaker emphasizes they are not a psychologist to acknowledge that their perspective is based on personal experience rather than professional expertise, and to encourage listening to experts on mental health matters.

  • What challenges does the speaker find in discussing mental health?

    -The speaker finds it challenging to discuss mental health because the experiences are not easily accessible by the senses and are difficult to describe without using similes or metaphors.

  • What is the speaker's experience with obsessive-compulsive disorder?

    -The speaker experiences obsessive thought spirals with intrusive thoughts that hijack their consciousness, leading to compulsive behaviors such as repeatedly checking for contamination or spending hours researching potential consequences of their obsessions.

  • How does the speaker describe the impact of obsessive thought spirals on their daily life?

    -The speaker describes the impact as exhausting and terrifying, as it leads to a loss of control over thoughts, making it difficult to follow a TV show or read a book, and raising questions about their sense of self.

  • What misconceptions about OCD does the speaker address?

    -The speaker addresses the misconception that OCD is mainly about excessive hand washing, neatness, or visible behaviors, clarifying that for them, it involves formless, insensate horrors of psychic pain and thought spirals.

  • How does the speaker use the compulsive behaviors as a coping mechanism?

    -The speaker uses compulsive behaviors to comfort and calm themselves, as a way to manage the obsessive thoughts and fears that they cannot stop otherwise.

  • What is the speaker's view on the portrayal of mental illness in popular culture?

    -The speaker notes that mental illness is both stigmatized and sometimes romanticized in popular culture, with examples such as TV shows portraying it as a source of superpowers or exceptional abilities, which has not been true to their personal experience.

  • What was the speaker's motivation for writing the book 'Turtles all the Way Down'?

    -The speaker's motivation for writing the book was to find form and expression for the non-sensorial experience of living inside thought spirals, through the story of a fictional 16-year-old girl named Aza Holmes.

  • What advice does the speaker give to those concerned about their mental health?

    -The speaker advises those concerned about their mental health to seek help, providing resources in the video description, and emphasizes that the vast majority of mental illnesses are treatable and that hope exists even when one's brain may suggest otherwise.

  • What message does the speaker convey to Hank at the end of the video?

    -The speaker conveys a friendly message to Hank, saying 'DFTBA' (Don't Forget To Be Awesome) and mentions they will see him on Friday, indicating a regular interaction or series.

Outlines
00:00
🌀 Personal Struggle with Mental Health

The speaker begins by addressing their own mental health, emphasizing that they are not a psychologist and advocating for listening to experts on this subject. They share their personal experiences and the difficulty of discussing mental health due to its intangible nature. The speaker reveals their battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is often misunderstood and misrepresented in popular culture. They describe the intrusive thoughts and thought spirals that characterize their OCD, which can be debilitating and lead to a loss of control over their thoughts. The speaker also touches on the stigma and occasional romanticization of mental illness in society, sharing their perspective that their condition does not come with any 'superpower' benefits and instead significantly impacts their ability to function normally.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Mental Health
Mental health refers to a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It is the state of being in which a person can cope with the normal stresses of life, work productively, and contribute to their community. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of listening to experts regarding mental health, indicating its complexity and the need for professional guidance. The speaker's personal experience with mental health struggles is central to the narrative, highlighting the challenges and the importance of seeking help.
💡Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions). The disorder can significantly impact a person's daily life and sense of self. In the script, the speaker describes their experience with OCD, focusing on the internal struggle with obsessive thought spirals and the compulsive behaviors they engage in to manage these thoughts, which is a central theme of the video and the narrative of the book 'Turtles all the Way Down'.
💡Thought Spirals
Thought spirals are a psychological phenomenon where a person's thoughts become repetitive and increasingly distressing, often leading to anxiety or panic. They are a key aspect of OCD and can be triggered by intrusive thoughts. The speaker uses the term 'thought spirals' to describe their personal experience with OCD, illustrating the overwhelming nature of these thoughts and how they can dominate one's consciousness, as seen when they mention the fear of food contamination taking over their thoughts.
💡Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or impulses that cause distress or anxiety. They are a common feature of OCD and can be very disturbing to the individual experiencing them. The script describes how the speaker experiences these intrusive thoughts that seem to come from outside of themselves and hijack their consciousness, leading to the obsessive thought spirals that are central to their personal narrative.
💡Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive behaviors are repetitive actions or mental acts that a person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or to reduce anxiety. They are a key aspect of OCD and can include checking, counting, or cleaning rituals. In the video, the speaker talks about their compulsive behaviors, such as repeatedly checking food for contamination, as a way to cope with and attempt to alleviate the distress caused by obsessive thoughts.
💡Stigma
Stigma refers to a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. In the context of mental health, stigma is the negative attitude and discrimination that people may face because of their mental illness. The speaker mentions the stigmatization of mental illness in culture, which can lead to social isolation and reluctance to seek help, but also notes the romanticization of mental illness in media, which can create unrealistic expectations.
💡Romantization
Romantization is the act of making something seem more attractive or appealing than it really is. In the script, the speaker discusses how mental illness is sometimes romanticized in media, such as in TV shows where a mentally ill person's unique perspective helps them solve crimes. This portrayal can be misleading and does not reflect the speaker's personal experience, which emphasizes the challenges and limitations imposed by mental illness.
💡Turtles all the Way Down
'Turtles all the Way Down' is a novel written by the speaker, which explores the theme of living with mental illness, specifically OCD. The book is a fictional story about a 16-year-old girl named Aza Holmes, who is dealing with the challenges of daily life while also managing her thought spirals. The title and the story serve as a metaphor for the deep, complex nature of mental health struggles and the speaker's attempt to give form to these non-sensorial experiences.
💡Self-Identity
Self-identity refers to the understanding and perception one has of oneself. In the video, the speaker questions their self-identity in the context of their mental illness, particularly when they cannot control their thoughts. The phrase 'am I actually the captain of this ship I call myself?' reflects the struggle with the sense of self and autonomy when one's thoughts are dominated by obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
💡Seek Help
The phrase 'seek help' is a call to action for those who may be struggling with their mental health. The speaker emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help and provides resources for viewers to do so. This message is crucial as it counters the stigma and encourages individuals to take steps towards treatment and recovery, highlighting the hope and possibility of living a fulfilling life despite mental health challenges.
Highlights

The video discusses personal mental health experiences, emphasizing the importance of listening to experts.

Mental health experiences are hard to articulate due to their non-sensory nature.

The speaker has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is often misunderstood.

OCD is characterized by obsessive thought spirals and compulsive behaviors.

Intrusive thoughts can hijack consciousness, leading to distress and fear.

The speaker describes the struggle of losing control over one's thoughts.

Compulsive behaviors are coping mechanisms to deal with obsessive thoughts.

Mental illness is stigmatized and sometimes romanticized in popular culture.

The speaker clarifies that their mental illness does not have 'superpower' side effects.

The book 'Turtles all the Way Down' was inspired by the author's personal experiences with OCD.

The protagonist, Aza Holmes, is depicted as a teenager living with thought spirals.

The book aims to give form and expression to the non-sensory experience of OCD.

The speaker encourages those concerned about their mental health to seek help.

Resources for mental health support are provided in the video description.

Mental illnesses are largely treatable, and many people lead fulfilling lives despite them.

The video concludes with a reminder of the importance of seeking help and hope.

Transcripts

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Mental HealthPersonal ExperienceOCD InsightsThought SpiralsCoping StrategiesStigma AwarenessSelf-ReflectionMental IllnessHelp SeekingCreative Expression