"I'm so OCD": the reality of OCD | Jayde Edgren | TEDxUBC
TLDRThis video script provides a deeply personal account of living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The speaker details their experiences from childhood, explaining how OCD manifests in intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, often misinterpreted by others. They share specific examples, such as their fear of lying and the development of Homosexual OCD (HOCD) and Pedophilic OCD (POCD), highlighting the disorder's ability to exploit vulnerabilities. The narrative also touches on the impact of OCD on family relationships and the speaker's journey towards self-acceptance and resilience. The speaker concludes with a message of hope, emphasizing personal responsibility and the importance of overcoming life's challenges.
Takeaways
- 😖 The script describes the struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), emphasizing that it is often misunderstood and not just about cleanliness or organization.
- 🗣️ The individual with OCD often has a compulsion to respond with 'maybe' or 'maybe not' to questions due to a fear of lying, even if the task was completed.
- 💡 Intrusive thoughts are a significant aspect of OCD, causing distress and anxiety, and can persist for a long time, affecting daily life.
- 🌉 The fear of acting on intrusive thoughts, like driving off a bridge, can lead to avoidance behaviors and irrational precautions.
- 🏳️🌈 The speaker experienced 'homosexual OCD' (hocd), a fear of being gay, which was triggered by a seemingly innocent video, highlighting how varied OCD can be.
- 🔁 The speaker's experience with OCD led to taking online quizzes repeatedly to seek reassurance about their sexual orientation, indicating the need for reassurance in OCD.
- 🏛️ Identifying as bisexual was a coping mechanism for the speaker to deal with their hocd, showing one way individuals may try to manage their intrusive thoughts.
- 🤔 The speaker's realization that they were not gay came after moving to university and experimenting, emphasizing the importance of self-discovery in managing OCD.
- 👨👩👧👦 The speaker expresses gratitude for their family's support and understanding, which is crucial for individuals with OCD.
- 😔 The speaker regrets the hurtful things said to their family during their struggle with OCD, showing the emotional toll the disorder can take on relationships.
- 📚 The speaker's academic challenges, including a near failing grade, were overcome by perseverance and determination, illustrating the resilience needed when dealing with mental health issues.
- 💪 The script concludes with a message of hope and self-reliance, emphasizing that overcoming life's challenges is a personal journey without a predetermined end.
Q & A
What is the common misconception about OCD when people first hear about it?
-The common misconception about OCD is that it is associated with being a germaphobe or someone who is highly organized.
How does the speaker describe their experience with OCD in terms of cleanliness?
-The speaker describes their experience with OCD as not being clean, exemplified by their Starbucks cup rotting on the bedside table for weeks.
What is an example of an intrusive thought that the speaker mentioned?
-An example of an intrusive thought is the sudden idea of driving off a bridge into a river while driving over it.
How do intrusive thoughts affect individuals with OCD differently from those without OCD?
-For individuals without OCD, intrusive thoughts may last for a few seconds to a minute, whereas for those with OCD, these thoughts can persist for months.
What is HOCD and how did the speaker develop it?
-HOCD, or Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, is the fear of being gay. The speaker developed it after watching a Snapchat video of a friend licking her lips in a joking manner.
How did the speaker initially cope with their HOCD?
-The speaker initially coped with their HOCD by identifying as bisexual, hoping that accepting this as a fact would alleviate the OCD's grip on them.
What realization did the speaker come to after moving to University and experimenting?
-The speaker realized that they were not gay and that they had mistaken wanting to be someone with wanting to be with someone.
What is POCD and how did it affect the speaker?
-POCD, or Pedophilic Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, is the obsessive fear of being a pedophile. It affected the speaker by causing them to avoid looking at children and having disturbing thoughts and dreams.
How did the speaker's family react to their OCD and the challenges it brought?
-The speaker's family, especially the mother, was very supportive despite the speaker saying hurtful things to them. Their relationship improved over time.
What was the inciting incident that triggered the speaker's OCD?
-The inciting incident was a misunderstanding when the speaker was five years old, where their father misheard them and accused them of having an inappropriate request.
What advice does the speaker offer to those who are going through tough times?
-The speaker advises people to understand that tough times do not last forever and that they can come out stronger and more appreciative of better times.
What quote did the speaker's economics professor share with them, and what was the context?
-The quote shared was 'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans,' which the professor told the speaker while they were discussing not getting a concession in his class.
Outlines
😖 Understanding OCD Through Personal Struggles
The speaker begins by expressing the difficulty of explaining Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) to those who do not have it, emphasizing that it's often misunderstood as mere cleanliness or organization. They share personal anecdotes from childhood, illustrating the compulsive behavior and intrusive thoughts associated with OCD, such as the fear of lying or the obsessive checking of tasks completed. The paragraph delves into the distress caused by intrusive thoughts, which can persist for months and lead to avoidance behaviors and life disruptions. The speaker also discusses 'homosexual OCD' (HOCD), a specific type of OCD where they feared being gay after a seemingly innocent Snapchat video, leading to an existential crisis and a cycle of seeking reassurance through online quizzes. This paragraph provides a deep insight into the daily battles and the psychological torment individuals with OCD face.
🌈 Overcoming HOCD and Embracing Bisexuality
In this paragraph, the speaker recounts their journey of grappling with HOCD and how it led them to identify as bisexual initially as a coping mechanism. They believed that by accepting the intrusive thoughts associated with HOCD, it would alleviate their OCD's hold on them. The speaker later realizes through personal exploration at university that they are not gay, distinguishing between wanting to be someone and wanting to be with someone. They also share their experience of helping others on the OCD subreddit and the controversial advice they gave, which was met with backlash. The paragraph concludes with a discussion on the need for reassurance in OCD and the importance of addressing the root cause of intrusive thoughts, emphasizing the complexity of OCD and the personal growth that can come from overcoming it.
😔 The Impact of OCD on Family Relationships
The speaker reflects on the impact of OCD on their family relationships, expressing gratitude for their family's support despite the hardships. They acknowledge the guilt and regret for the hurtful things they said to their family during their struggle with OCD, particularly towards their mother. The speaker discusses the concept of 'sunk costs' in the context of their past actions and words, choosing to use these experiences as a stepping stone towards becoming a better person. They also touch upon the chronic loneliness they feel due to OCD and the constant need to prove themselves, stemming from the inciting incident that triggered their OCD at a young age. This paragraph provides a heartfelt look into the emotional turmoil and the healing process of someone living with OCD.
💪 Resilience in the Face of Adversity
In the final paragraph, the speaker shares a personal story of overcoming a significant academic challenge, where they initially believed they had failed a crucial course but later discovered they had actually withdrawn successfully. This experience reinforces their belief in resilience and personal agency. The speaker also discusses a profound quote from their economics professor, which emphasizes that life unfolds in unexpected ways and that one must take control of their own destiny. They end on a note of hope and determination, encouraging others facing difficulties to persevere, as they themselves have done, and to recognize that tough times can lead to personal growth and a deeper appreciation for life's successes.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡OCD
💡Intrusive thoughts
💡HOCD
💡POCD
💡Reassurance
💡Acceptance
💡Misunderstanding
💡Isolation
💡Inciting incident
💡Coping mechanism
💡Resilience
Highlights
The speaker explains the misconceptions about OCD, emphasizing that it's not just about cleanliness or organization.
Personal anecdotes are used to illustrate the intrusive and persistent nature of OCD thoughts.
The impact of OCD on daily life is detailed, showing how it can lead to avoidance behaviors and rituals.
Homosexual OCD (HOCD) is introduced as a specific type of intrusive thought that the speaker experienced.
The speaker's struggle with HOCD led to an existential crisis and questioning of their sexual orientation.
The coping mechanism of identifying as bisexual is discussed as a way to manage intrusive thoughts.
Experimentation and self-discovery at university helped the speaker realize they were not gay.
The speaker's experience with Pedophilic OCD (POCD) and the extreme measures taken to manage it are shared.
The importance of family support in dealing with OCD is highlighted, with a special mention of the speaker's mother.
The speaker reflects on the guilt and regret from saying hurtful things to their family during their struggle with OCD.
The concept of 'sunk cost' in economics is related to the speaker's past actions and the decision to become a better person.
Chronic loneliness as a result of OCD and the constant need to prove oneself is described.
The inciting incident that triggered the speaker's OCD at a young age is shared, involving a misunderstanding with their father.
The silver lining of going through hardship is discussed, with the speaker emphasizing personal growth and resilience.
An academic setback and the determination to overcome it, demonstrating the speaker's perseverance.
A quote from the speaker's economics professor about life's unpredictability is shared as a takeaway message.
The decision not to provide a closure to the talk, reflecting the ongoing nature of dealing with OCD.
Transcripts
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