14 Signs of Emotional Abuse In Relationships

Psych2Go
30 Nov 202004:13
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe video script from the One Love organization delves into the insidious nature of emotional abuse within relationships. It outlines 14 subtle signs that may indicate such abuse, including blame-shifting, avoidance of certain topics, controlling behavior, and manipulation of plans. The narrative also touches on the abuser's tendency to be emotionally inconsistent, use humor to mask hurtful comments, and make their partners guess their desires. It highlights the damaging effects of gaslighting, conditional love, disregard for accomplishments, and attempts to control thoughts and actions. The video concludes by warning about the abuser's need to monitor their partner's whereabouts as a means of control and encourages viewers to reflect on their own relationships and share the video with others who may find it helpful.

Takeaways
  • 🚫 Emotional abuse includes behaviors like verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation.
  • 🤔 A partner who blames you for their actions and avoids responsibility is showing signs of emotional abuse.
  • 🥚 Abusers may avoid certain topics, making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around them.
  • 🚷 They control your behavior under the guise of being helpful, which is manipulative.
  • 🔄 Abusers change your plans without your knowledge to maintain control over you.
  • 🌀 They may be emotionally available one moment and distant the next, causing confusion and fear.
  • 😂 Saying hurtful things as a joke is a tactic used to undermine your self-worth.
  • 🤷‍♂️ They make you guess their wants instead of communicating openly, which is immature and unhealthy.
  • 🙅 Ignoring your feelings and labeling you as too sensitive is another form of emotional abuse.
  • 💬 Gaslighting, or lying about events to make you doubt your reality, is a method used to make you dependent.
  • 👥 Abusers may act differently around other people, either to maintain a false image or to control your behavior in social situations.
  • ❤️ Conditional love, where love is withdrawn during disagreements, is a sign of emotional abuse.
  • 🏆 Ignoring or downplaying your accomplishments can be a way for abusers to maintain control and superiority.
  • 🧐 They imply you're not helpful or selfish as a means of controlling your thoughts and behaviors.
  • 🗺️ Constantly needing to know your whereabouts is a form of control that stems from a lack of trust.
Q & A

  • What is emotional abuse according to the One Love organization?

    -Emotional abuse is any abusive behavior that includes verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation.

  • Why is it considered a sign of emotional abuse when a partner blames you for things they have done?

    -Blaming a partner for their own actions is a sign of emotional abuse because it involves avoiding responsibility and shifting the blame onto the other person.

  • What does it mean when a partner avoids certain topics, and how is it related to emotional abuse?

    -Avoiding certain topics can be a sign of emotional abuse because it indicates that the person feels the need to control the conversation and prevent the other person from expressing their concerns or feelings.

  • How does controlling how a person acts relate to emotional abuse?

    -Controlling how a person acts is a form of emotional abuse because it involves manipulation and an attempt to dictate the other person's behavior, often under the guise of being helpful or supportive.

  • Why is changing someone's plans without their knowledge considered abusive?

    -Changing plans without informing the person is abusive because it's a way to exert control and keep the person off-balance, potentially leading to dependency on the abuser.

  • What is the impact of an abuser being emotionally available one moment and distant the next?

    -This behavior keeps the victim guessing and in a state of fear, as they are unable to predict the abuser's emotional state and are left uncertain about how to interact with them.

  • How does saying hurtful things as a joke contribute to emotional abuse?

    -Saying hurtful things as a joke is a form of emotional abuse because it allows the abuser to inflict pain while dismissing the victim's feelings as oversensitivity, leading to self-doubt and a decrease in self-worth.

  • Why is making a partner guess what they want considered unhealthy in a relationship?

    -Expecting a partner to always know what the other wants without clear communication is unhealthy because it places an unfair burden on the partner and fosters an environment of assumptions rather than open dialogue.

  • What is the effect of ignoring a partner's feelings in an abusive context?

    -Ignoring a partner's feelings can lead to confusion and self-doubt, as the victim may start to question the validity of their own emotions and feel invalidated in the relationship.

  • Define gaslighting and explain its role in emotional abuse.

    -Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where an abuser lies about events to make the victim doubt their own memory and reality, leading to dependency and a loss of trust in one's own perceptions.

  • How does acting differently in public versus private contribute to emotional abuse?

    -Acting differently in public can be a tactic used by abusers to maintain a facade of a healthy relationship while controlling the victim's behavior in private, either by being overly caring to deceive others or by being distant to exert control.

  • What does it mean when an abuser's love is conditional, and how is it harmful?

    -Conditional love in an abusive relationship means that the abuser only expresses love when the victim behaves in a way that meets their expectations or demands. This is harmful because it establishes a relationship based on compliance and validation rather than genuine connection and mutual respect.

  • Why might an abuser ignore or downplay a victim's accomplishments?

    -An abuser may ignore or downplay a victim's accomplishments out of a sense of threat or to maintain control, as recognizing these achievements could empower the victim and challenge the abuser's dominance.

  • How does implying that a victim is not helpful contribute to emotional abuse?

    -Implying that a victim is not helpful is a form of emotional abuse because it undermines the victim's sense of self-worth and agency, making them feel as though they have no valuable contribution to make to the relationship.

  • What is the significance of an abuser needing to know a victim's whereabouts at all times?

    -The need to know a victim's whereabouts constantly is a form of control that stems from a lack of trust. It serves to keep the victim under the abuser's surveillance and reinforces the abuser's power in the relationship.

Outlines
00:00
🤔 Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships

This paragraph discusses the concept of emotional abuse as defined by the One Love organization, which includes behaviors like verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation. It lists 14 subtle signs that may indicate emotional abuse in a relationship, such as blaming the victim for the abuser's actions, avoiding certain topics, controlling the victim's behavior, changing plans without notice, fluctuating emotional availability, saying hurtful things as a joke, making the victim guess their desires, ignoring the victim's feelings, gaslighting, acting differently in public, conditional love, ignoring accomplishments, implying the victim is unhelpful, and needing to know the victim's whereabouts at all times. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of recognizing these signs to identify potentially abusive dynamics in relationships.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse refers to a pattern of behavior where one person in a relationship uses verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation to control and dominate the other. It is a form of psychological control that can be as damaging as physical abuse. In the video, emotional abuse is the central theme, with various signs and examples provided to help viewers identify if they are in such a relationship.
💡Blame
Blaming is a tactic used by emotionally abusive individuals where they shift responsibility for their actions onto their partner. It is a form of manipulation that can make the victim feel guilty and responsible for the abuser's behavior. In the script, it is mentioned as a sign of abuse when a partner blames the viewer for things they themselves have done.
💡Control
Control is a key aspect of emotional abuse, where the abuser seeks to dictate how the victim behaves, who they interact with, and even their thoughts and feelings. It's a means of exerting power and maintaining dominance in the relationship. The video script describes how abusers may control the victim's actions or change their plans to maintain control.
💡Manipulation
Manipulation is a form of psychological abuse where the abuser uses deceit and coercion to influence the victim's behavior or decisions. It often involves making the victim feel like they are the ones with the problem, rather than the abuser. The script illustrates manipulation through examples such as controlling how the victim acts or changing plans without notice.
💡Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser causes the victim to question their own sanity or perception of reality. It involves lying about events or denying the victim's experiences to make them doubt their own memory. In the video, gaslighting is presented as a method of abuse where the abuser says things like 'This never happened' to confuse and control the victim.
💡Conditional Love
Conditional love in the context of emotional abuse refers to a situation where the expression of love is dependent on the victim meeting certain conditions set by the abuser. It is a form of control that implies the victim is only worthy of love when they comply with the abuser's demands. The script mentions this as a sign of abuse when the abuser withdraws love during disagreements.
💡Humiliation
Humiliation is the act of making someone feel inferior, embarrassed, or ashamed. In emotionally abusive relationships, the abuser may use public ridicule or private belittling to undermine the victim's self-esteem. The video highlights humiliation as part of the abusive behavior that can include saying hurtful things as a joke, ignoring the victim's feelings, or making them feel overly sensitive.
💡Dependency
Dependency, in the context of emotional abuse, is a state where the victim becomes reliant on the abuser for validation, decisions, or even their sense of reality. This dependency is often cultivated through a combination of control, manipulation, and gaslighting. The script discusses how certain abusive behaviors, such as changing plans without notice or gaslighting, can lead to the victim becoming dependent on the abuser.
💡Isolation
Isolation is a tactic used by abusers to limit the victim's contact with friends and family, effectively cutting them off from outside support. This increases the victim's dependence on the abuser and makes it easier for the abuse to continue unchecked. The video mentions how abusers may change plans to control the victim's social interactions, contributing to a sense of isolation.
💡Trust
Trust is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. In the context of the video, the lack of trust is evident when an abuser constantly checks up on the victim, needing to know their whereabouts and who they are with. This behavior is a form of control that stems from a lack of trust and an attempt to monitor the victim's actions closely.
💡Self-Worth
Self-worth refers to an individual's intrinsic value and belief in their own worthiness. Emotional abuse can severely undermine a person's self-worth by making them feel unworthy or doubting their own feelings and perceptions. The script illustrates how saying hurtful things as a joke or ignoring the victim's accomplishments can make the victim question their self-worth.
Highlights

Emotional abuse includes verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation

Sign 1: Your partner blames you for things they've done

Sign 2: Abusers avoid certain topics to control the conversation

Sign 3: Abusers control how you act under the guise of being helpful

Sign 4: Abusers change your plans without telling you to maintain control

Sign 5: Abusers are emotionally available one moment, distant the next

Sign 6: Abusers say hurtful things as a joke to undermine your self-worth

Sign 7: Abusers make you guess what they want instead of communicating openly

Sign 8: Abusers ignore your feelings and label you as too sensitive

Sign 9: Gaslighting is a form of abuse where your reality is questioned

Sign 10: Abusers act differently around other people to control your behavior

Sign 11: Conditional love is a sign of emotional abuse

Sign 12: Abusers ignore or downplay your accomplishments out of jealousy

Sign 13: Abusers imply you're not helpful to control your thoughts and actions

Sign 14: Constantly checking up on you is a form of control and lack of trust

The video provides 14 subtle signs to identify emotional abuse in relationships

Healthy relationships are built on open communication, not assumptions or manipulation

Gaslighting can leave victims doubting their own reality and dependent on their abuser

The video offers resources and studies in the description for further information

Transcripts

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Related Tags
Emotional AbuseRelationship HealthAbuse SignsManipulationIntimidationSelf-WorthCommunicationGaslightingControl TacticsLove ConditionalityTrust IssuesSelf-DoubtOne Love