Do THIS to Get Him Hooked in the EARLY STAGES of Dating | Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey
13 Jan 202224:05
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe transcript emphasizes the importance of setting and communicating standards in dating, as well as managing personal energy. It offers advice on creating attraction through genuine connection, maintaining power post-intimacy, and avoiding the 'Netflix and chill' mentality. The speaker shares strategies for balancing vulnerability with confidence, ensuring mutual investment, and leading with example in relationships, ultimately aiming for long-term attraction and respect.

Takeaways
  • 🌟 Maintaining standards and effectively communicating them is key to attracting and keeping someone's interest.
  • 💪 Confidence is displayed through having standards and the competence to express them.
  • 🔋 Managing your energy is crucial as it is a limited resource in the dating process.
  • 🍿 Sharing一些小 gesture like buying popcorn on a date can show you are a team player and not taking the other person for granted.
  • 🥳 Showing excitement about the little things in life signals that you are a fun and passionate person to be with.
  • 📞 Picking up the phone for important conversations sets a standard for a mature and respectful relationship.
  • 💌 Sending thoughtful and balanced text messages can increase long-term attraction and show your high standards.
  • 🛌 After intimacy, maintaining a comfortable and positive attitude can boost your attractiveness and confidence.
  • 🚫 Avoid projecting unrealistic expectations or giving too much of yourself too soon in a relationship.
  • 🔄 Match the level of investment in the relationship with the effort shown by the other person.
Q & A
  • What is the importance of having a 'real dates only' policy in the early stages of dating?

    -A 'real dates only' policy encourages going out into the world together, which keeps the experience interesting and helps establish a pattern of engaging, memorable outings that contribute to a strong connection.

  • Why should one avoid the 'Netflix and chill' date before it's been earned?

    -Avoiding the 'Netflix and chill' date early on helps maintain a standard of quality interactions, ensuring that both parties invest time and effort into getting to know each other in meaningful ways, rather than resorting to more casual encounters.

  • What does it mean to 'buy the popcorn' on a date?

    -To 'buy the popcorn' symbolizes contributing to the date in some way, showing that one is not taking the other person for granted and is willing to be a team player in the relationship, starting from the early stages.

  • How can showing excitement about the little things impress a date?

    -Displaying enthusiasm for small details or experiences demonstrates passion and positivity, making one appear as a fun and engaging person to be with, which can lead to a deeper desire to explore more experiences together.

  • What is the significance of making the first call to a guy in setting a precedent?

    -Making the first call shows that one is confident, mature, and capable of initiating communication, setting a standard for the relationship that encourages open and direct dialogue between both parties.

  • How does 'bliss point communication' work in maintaining long-term attraction?

    -Bliss point communication refers to finding the optimal balance of咸 and sweet in interactions, which keeps the other person interested and invested in the relationship over time without feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed.

  • What should one do after being intimate with someone to maintain their power and interest?

    -After being intimate, one should avoid awkwardness, remain affectionate, and leave on a positive note. Later, sending a thoughtful text and not settling for casual encounters like 'Netflix and chill' can help maintain power and increase the other person's interest.

  • How can one manage their energy during the dating process?

    -Managing energy in dating involves not projecting too much onto a new person, not giving all of oneself immediately, mirroring the other person's level of investment, not prioritizing them until they've done the same for you, and not reaching out simply due to craving attention.

  • Why is it important to not give more energy than the other person is investing?

    -To prevent imbalances in the relationship and to avoid potential feelings of being taken advantage of or不被重视, it's important to match the level of energy and investment that the other person is putting into the relationship.

  • What should one do if they receive a last-minute date invitation after not hearing from someone for weeks?

    -In such a situation, one should respond with a message that communicates their standards and expectations, indicating that they value meaningful and planned interactions rather than spontaneous, last-minute engagements.

  • How can one add value and build real connection in their interactions with others?

    -By being authentic, showing genuine interest in the other person's life, and engaging in meaningful conversations and activities, one can create a stronger bond and build a relationship that is based on mutual respect and understanding.

Outlines
00:00
🌟 Building Attraction and Setting Standards

This paragraph discusses the importance of making a strong impression during the initial weeks of attraction. It emphasizes having a 'real dates only' policy, the significance of contributing to dates, showing excitement about the little things, and the value of communication and setting standards. The speaker shares tips on how to hook someone by being a team player, demonstrating passion, and leading by example in establishing expectations for communication and behavior in relationships.

05:01
💖 The Power of Communication and Standards

The focus of this paragraph is on the power of communication and having high standards. It explains how women who get the best men and the best behavior from them have high standards and the ability to communicate them attractively. The concept of 'bliss point' in communication is introduced, aiming for an optimal balance that keeps a person wanting more. The speaker provides scenarios and responses to guide how to communicate expectations and standards effectively, encouraging playful and affectionate ways to address issues and maintain long-term attraction.

10:03
🔥 Maintaining Power After Intimacy

This paragraph challenges the notion that a woman loses power after having sex with a man, arguing that true power lies in what one does afterwards. It offers three key strategies to maintain and increase attraction: not being weird or awkward post-intimacy, sending a thoughtful text later in the day, and not settling for 'Netflix and chill' scenarios. The advice stresses the importance of owning the experience without regrets, setting clear expectations for future encounters, and seeking to build a genuine connection beyond physical intimacy.

15:04
🌈 Managing Energy in Dating

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of managing one's energy during the dating process to avoid burnout. It advises against projecting hopes and dreams onto a date too early, not giving all of oneself immediately, and mirroring the level of investment received from the other person. It also encourages not prioritizing someone before they have done the same, and avoiding reaching out when one is merely craving attention. The speaker provides practical tips on how to discern when and how to invest energy in a potential relationship, ensuring that one's best efforts are reserved for those who genuinely reciprocate and are worthy of such attention.

20:04
🚀 Creating Real Connection and Avoiding Attention Cravings

In this paragraph, the speaker discusses the importance of creating real connection over seeking validation or attention. It highlights the need to give energy for genuine reasons and to invest in activities that add value to one's life. The speaker warns against the bottomless pit of seeking attention to soothe insecurities and suggests redirecting that energy towards productive activities that build self-confidence and a richer life. The paragraph concludes with an invitation to download a free chapter from the speaker's program for further insights on building meaningful relationships.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Attraction
Attraction in the context of the video refers to the process of drawing someone towards you through various behaviors and communication strategies. It's about making a positive and lasting impression that leads to a deeper connection. The video discusses the importance of setting standards and managing energy in the early stages of attraction to create a genuine and lasting connection.
💡Standards
Standards are the expectations and values one sets for oneself in a relationship. In the video, having high standards is portrayed as a form of confidence that makes one more attractive. It's about knowing what you want and communicating those expectations to a potential partner in an appealing way.
💡Communication
Communication is the exchange of information, ideas, or feelings between individuals. In the video, effective communication is highlighted as a critical skill for maintaining power and attraction in relationships. It involves expressing oneself clearly, setting boundaries, and conveying standards in a way that fosters mutual respect and understanding.
💡Energy Management
Energy management in the context of the video refers to the conscious allocation of one's time, effort, and emotional resources in the dating process. It's about not overextending oneself and ensuring that one's energy is directed towards building meaningful connections that align with personal standards and values.
💡Netflix and Chill
The term 'Netflix and Chill' is used to describe casual encounters that focus more on physical intimacy without the effort of a traditional date. In the video, it's discouraged as it can lead to a lack of genuine connection and investment in the relationship.
💡Bliss Point
The 'bliss point' is a term borrowed from the food industry, referring to the optimal level of a certain taste or quality that keeps consumers wanting more. In the video, it's used metaphorically to describe the ideal balance in communication that keeps a person interested and attracted to another.
💡Vulnerability
Vulnerability refers to the willingness to expose one's feelings, thoughts, or weaknesses to another person. In the context of the video, showing a small act of vulnerability is seen as a positive trait in building connections, as it demonstrates authenticity and openness.
💡Investment
Investment in the video refers to the time, effort, and emotional commitment one person puts into a relationship. It's about reciprocity and ensuring that both parties are contributing to the development and growth of their connection.
💡Prioritization
Prioritization involves treating someone as important or valuable in one's life. In the context of the video, it's about ensuring that the other person is also investing and valuing the relationship before one considers them a priority.
💡Self-Esteem
Self-esteem refers to the overall sense of self-worth or value that a person holds about themselves. In the video, it's emphasized that one's self-esteem should not be dependent on seeking attention or validation from others, but rather on building a strong sense of self.
Highlights

The power of having standards and the ability to communicate them effectively is emphasized, highlighting that it's not just about having standards, but also about how you express them.

The importance of making a great impression during the first two weeks of attraction is discussed, as it sets the tone for how others perceive and interact with you.

Having a 'real dates only' policy is suggested to avoid falling into the common trap of casual meetups like 'Netflix and chill', which may not lead to meaningful connections.

The act of contributing, even in small ways like buying popcorn on a date, sends a message of not taking the other person for granted and being a team player.

Showing genuine excitement about the little things in a date or interaction can make you more attractive and fun to be around, as it demonstrates passion and interest.

The importance of picking up the phone and having real-time conversations is highlighted over waiting for text messages, as it sets a standard for direct and adult communication.

The concept of 'bliss point communication' is introduced, which is about finding the optimal balance in your interactions that keeps people interested and engaged.

Three specific text message strategies are provided to help women attract the men they want by communicating in a way that is both playful and assertive.

The misconception that having sex with a man results in losing power is debunked, with the argument that what you do afterwards is what truly maintains or increases your power.

Three key actions are suggested to maintain power and increase attraction after intimacy: not being weird, sending a thoughtful text, and not settling for casual meetups like 'Netflix and chill'.

A method for managing your energy during the dating process is outlined, including not projecting hopes and dreams onto others too soon and not giving all of yourself immediately.

The advice to mirror the amount of investment you receive from the other person is given, to ensure a balanced and equitable exchange of energy and effort.

The importance of not making someone a priority until they have shown the same level of investment and interest is emphasized to maintain healthy boundaries and protect one's energy.

Reaching out for real connection rather than craving attention is advised, as seeking validation or reassurance does not lead to a fulfilling relationship.

The video offers a free chapter from a program on how to communicate effectively with men, providing a resource for those interested in developing their interpersonal skills.

The video aims to help viewers manage their energy in dating to avoid burnout and ensure they have their best to give when they meet the right person.

The core message of the video is to protect and manage one's energy in dating to ensure it is not wasted on the wrong people and is available for a potentially meaningful relationship.

Transcripts
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