6 things you can count on a narcissist to say
TLDRIn this insightful video, Dr. Romney delves into the language patterns of narcissistic individuals, offering a guide to recognizing and understanding their communication tactics. Six common phrases are highlighted, each revealing a deeper insight into the narcissist's mindset and behavior. These include deflecting attention back to themselves, manipulative apologies, playing the victim, dismissing others' concerns, asserting dominance, and expressing a sense of entitlement to fairness. Dr. Romney emphasizes that while these phrases can be red flags, it's the broader pattern of low empathy, entitlement, and arrogance that defines a narcissist. The video aims to provide viewers with a clearer understanding of narcissistic communication, empowering them with knowledge to navigate or disengage from toxic relationships.
Takeaways
- 🗣️ Narcissistic individuals often say 'I don't want to make this about me' but struggle to keep the focus off themselves, indicating a lack of genuine empathy and a need for attention.
- 🤔 When a narcissist says 'I'm sorry you feel that way,' it's a manipulative pseudo-apology, not an admission of responsibility or a genuine expression of remorse.
- 😡 'Why are you doing this to me?' is a common phrase used by narcissists to turn themselves into victims and deflect from addressing the issue at hand.
- 🕰️ Narcissists may dismiss others' concerns with 'I just don't have time for this,' showing contempt and a lack of willingness to engage in meaningful dialogue.
- 🚫 'I hope you know who you're messing with' is a threat used by narcissists to assert dominance and intimidate others, signaling a potential danger to one's well-being.
- 🤨 The phrase 'It's not fair' is frequently used by narcissists when they don't get their way, reflecting their sense of entitlement and lack of understanding of life's inherent unfairness.
- 🧐 Recognizing these phrases can help individuals feel more sane and less isolated in their experiences with narcissistic people.
- 📚 The speaker recommends visiting an article (linked in the show notes) for more information and tips on coping with narcissistic behaviors.
- 🚫 It's important not to label oneself or others as narcissistic based on a single phrase, but rather to look at a pattern of behavior.
- 🤝 Valid and empathetic communication involves ensuring the other person is heard and not just focusing on one's own experiences or problems.
- ⏰ Narcissists often show a lack of patience and consideration for others' time and feelings, which can be hurtful and alienating.
- ❌ Dealing with narcissistic behaviors can be challenging, but awareness and understanding of these patterns can empower individuals to set boundaries and protect their mental health.
Q & A
What is the first phrase that Dr. Romney mentions a narcissistic person might say?
-The first phrase is 'I don't want to make this about me,' which is often used by narcissistic people to draw attention back to themselves even when the conversation is not about them.
Why does Dr. Romney suggest that saying 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is manipulative?
-This phrase is manipulative because it does not take accountability or responsibility for one's actions. Instead, it implies that the other person's feelings are unreasonable or unnecessary, which can be a form of gaslighting.
What does the phrase 'Why are you doing this to me?' typically indicate in a narcissistic relationship?
-This phrase indicates the narcissist's tendency to turn themselves into a victim and perceive any inquiry or request as an attack, reflecting their lack of accountability and their need to be the center of attention.
How does Dr. Romney describe the statement 'I just don't have time for this' in the context of a narcissistic person?
-Dr. Romney describes this statement as a contemptuous dismissal that reflects the narcissist's belief in their own superiority and importance, often used to avoid engaging in a conversation that does not serve their interests.
What is the significance of the phrase 'I hope you know who you're messing with' in the context of a narcissistic person?
-This phrase is a threat of menace used by a narcissistic person to assert dominance and intimidate others. It signifies a potential danger and is a clear warning sign of the narcissist's willingness to cause harm.
Why does Dr. Romney say that the phrase 'It's not fair' is indicative of a narcissistic person's mindset?
-The phrase 'It's not fair' is indicative of a narcissistic person's sense of entitlement and their expectation that life should always go their way. It reflects their inability to cope with any perceived inequity or challenge to their desires.
What is the main purpose of Dr. Romney's discussion on narcissistic phrases?
-The main purpose is to help individuals recognize manipulative and self-serving language used by narcissistic people, and to provide insights on how to cope with such behavior in relationships.
How does Dr. Romney suggest responding to a narcissistic person's use of the phrase 'I don't want to make this about me'?
-Dr. Romney suggests that instead of using this phrase, it's better to be honest and ensure that the other person's perspective is heard without trying to make the conversation about oneself.
What advice does Dr. Romney give for someone who is dealing with a narcissistic person?
-Dr. Romney advises recognizing the limitations of the narcissistic person, stepping back from the conversation when they use manipulative phrases, and seeking additional guidance through resources like the article mentioned in the script.
Why does Dr. Romney emphasize that using certain phrases does not necessarily make someone a narcissist?
-Dr. Romney emphasizes this to clarify that it is the pattern of behavior and the context in which these phrases are used that can indicate narcissism, rather than the isolated use of a single phrase.
What is the importance of understanding the narcissistic mindset when dealing with narcissistic individuals?
-Understanding the narcissistic mindset is important because it helps individuals to recognize manipulative tactics, maintain their own emotional well-being, and develop strategies to cope with or disengage from toxic relationships.
What steps can someone take if they suspect they are in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic person?
-They can refer to the article provided in the video notes for tips on how to cope with such relationships, which may include setting boundaries, seeking support, and understanding the signs of narcissistic behavior.
Outlines
🗣️ Narcissistic Communication Patterns
Dr. Romney introduces the topic of narcissistic communication, focusing on six common phrases used by narcissists. He emphasizes that these phrases are part of a larger pattern of behavior, including low empathy, entitlement, and arrogance. The first phrase discussed is 'I don't want to make this about me,' which is often used by narcissists to redirect conversations back to themselves, despite the initial intention of the speaker.
🚫 Manipulative Pseudo-Apologies
The second phrase highlighted is 'I'm sorry you feel that way,' which Dr. Romney explains is not a genuine apology but a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to dismiss the other person's feelings. He advises that a sincere apology should be specific and demonstrate accountability, whereas a narcissist's pseudo-apology is a way to avoid responsibility.
😤 Victim Mentality and Blame Shifting
The third phrase, 'Why are you doing this to me,' is a common response from narcissists when confronted or challenged. This question is a way for them to position themselves as victims, even in situations where they are not being directly attacked. Dr. Romney notes that this phrase is often used to deflect from the actual issue at hand and to avoid engaging in meaningful dialogue.
🕒 Dismissing Others as Unimportant
The fourth phrase, 'I just don't have time for this,' is used by narcissists to show contempt and superiority over others. It's a way to dismiss someone else's concerns or experiences as unimportant or trivial. Dr. Romney contrasts this with how a considerate person would handle a lack of time, suggesting that there are kinder ways to communicate unavailability.
🤬 Intimidation and Power Displays
The fifth phrase, 'I hope you know who you're messing with,' is a direct intimidation tactic often used by malignant narcissists. Dr. Romney shares a personal story of being threatened by a narcissist with power and influence, which had severe consequences for his life and mental health. He advises that hearing this phrase is a serious warning sign and may indicate potential harm or danger.
🤔 Entitlement and the 'Life Isn't Fair' Complaint
The sixth and final phrase, 'It's not fair,' reflects the narcissist's sense of entitlement and their belief that they should always get their way. Dr. Romney discusses how healthy adults understand and manage the reality of life's unfairness, while narcissists react with anger and resentment when they do not receive special treatment or outcomes. He concludes with advice on how to cope with these types of phrases and behaviors.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Narcissism
💡Narcissistic Relationships
💡Gaslighting
💡Validation Seeking
💡Entitlement
💡Conversational Hijacking
💡Victimhood
💡Manipulation
💡Ego Threat
💡Accountability
💡Fairness
Highlights
Dr. Romney discusses six predictable things a narcissistic person might say.
The inspiration for these points comes from an article written for MSNBC.
Narcissists often say 'I don't want to make this about me' but struggle to stay out of the conversation focus.
Using phrases like 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is a manipulative tactic rather than a genuine apology.
Narcissists frequently turn themselves into victims with statements like 'why are you doing this to me?'
They may dismiss others' concerns with 'I just don't have time for this,' indicating contempt.
Threatening statements like 'I hope you know who you're messing with' are a sign of malignant narcissism.
Narcissists feel entitled to always get their way, and any deviation feels 'not fair' to them.
Dr. Romney provides a link to a full article with more information in the show notes.
A single phrase does not make someone a narcissist; it's the pattern of behavior that matters.
Conversation hijacking is a common narcissistic move to steer the focus back to themselves.
Genuine apologies involve taking accountability and being clear about what one is apologizing for.
Narcissists use pseudo-apologies to gaslight and avoid responsibility for their actions.
The phrase 'why are you doing this to me' is often used to deflect and accuse, rather than engage in a conversation.
Narcissists perceive any situation that doesn't favor them as an injustice, regardless of others' circumstances.
Dr. Romney shares a personal experience with a malignant narcissist, illustrating the depth of their harmful behaviors.
Tips on coping with narcissistic phrases and behaviors are available in the linked article.
Transcripts
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