The History of the World According to 'Ancient Aliens'

This paragraph introduces the concept of ancient aliens and the skepticism surrounding the show 'Ancient Aliens'. It discusses the show's persistence despite being considered outdated and the collective societal decision to forget its existence. The paragraph also touches on the show's claims about aliens using advanced technology to help build ancient wonders and the series' tendency to imply that every event in history has an alien connection. The author embarks on a journey to watch every episode to understand the show's perspective on history.

This section delves into the origins of the ancient astronaut theory, starting with Erich von Däniken's book 'Chariots of the Gods' and its influence on the genre. It outlines the theory that aliens visited Earth 450,000 years ago and created humans as a slave species for mining gold. The paragraph discusses the idea of a civil war among aliens over whether to grant humans intelligence, leading to the biblical 'original sin' and the 'great flood' as a punishment. It also mentions the concept of alien 'God Kings' ruling ancient Sumerian civilization and the notion that human inventions and advancements were all taught by aliens.

The paragraph explores the ancient astronaut theory's claims about aliens' involvement in human history and mythology. It suggests that figures from various mythologies, such as Hercules, Gilgamesh, and Beowulf, were real and that their stories are intertwined with alien interactions. The theory posits that aliens bred with human women, including the Virgin Mary, and influenced the construction of monuments for purposes such as blood sacrifice, geomagnetic significance, and powering alien civilizations. The paragraph also highlights the idea that humans lacked agency and intelligence without alien guidance.

This section describes alleged alien interventions throughout history, from ancient times to the modern era. It mentions the theory that aliens influenced the construction of religious sites, the development of technology like the wheel and aqueducts, and even language. The paragraph also covers claims that aliens were involved in significant historical events, such as the life of Joan of Arc, the legends of King Arthur, and the Renaissance. It humorously notes that aliens might have sponsored the show 'Ancient Aliens' and ends with a critique of the show's repetitive content and lack of evidence.

The final paragraph reflects on the nature of the 'Ancient Aliens' show, suggesting that it functions more like a religion than a historical or scientific exploration. It posits that the show treats aliens as gods who control human destiny and that it reinterprets religious texts as accounts of alien contact. The paragraph also criticizes the show for its lack of original content, its repetitive use of certain claims, and its reliance on sensationalism. It concludes with a critique of the show's portrayal of an apocalyptic end of the world scenario and the channel's decision to continue airing the show despite its controversial claims.