How to Humor Your Stress | Loretta LaRoche | TEDxNewBedford

TEDx Talks

14 Dec 201620:51

EducationalLearning

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TLDRThe speaker, a stress management expert with 30 years of experience, humorously addresses the growing prevalence of stress in society. She reminisces about her Italian upbringing in Brooklyn, where despite hardships, people managed to laugh and find joy in community. She critiques modern-day obsessions with busyness and oversharing on social media, suggesting that this contributes to increased stress levels. The speaker advocates for humor as a coping mechanism, encouraging the audience to laugh at life's absurdities and to appreciate the present moment. She emphasizes the importance of not taking oneself too seriously, the value of community and shared laughter, and the detrimental effects of constant worrying and negative thinking. Her talk is punctuated with laughter and applause, reflecting the light-hearted yet profound message she conveys.

Takeaways

🤣 The importance of humor in managing stress: The speaker emphasizes that laughter and humor can be powerful tools in dealing with stress.
👵🏼 Historical perspective on stress: The speaker reflects on how her Italian family coped with hardships without the concept of 'stress', suggesting a change in societal approach.
🍽️ The role of community and togetherness: Sharing meals and stories was a source of joy and support in the past, contrasting with the current individualistic tendencies.
📱 The impact of technology and social media: The speaker criticizes the oversharing and constant connectivity that contributes to stress and detracts from real-life experiences.
🚗 Recognizing the absurdity in everyday complaints: By pointing out the silliness of certain frustrations, like traffic, the speaker encourages a shift in perspective.
🧘‍♀️ Becoming a witness to your own behavior: Drawing from Buddhist philosophy, the speaker suggests observing one's own thoughts and reactions to reduce stress.
😂 The power of laughter to alleviate suffering: The idea that expecting the best can lessen the blow of disappointment, while expecting the worst leads to double suffering.
🧠 Understanding overreactive brain parts: Acknowledging that some people are biologically predisposed to stress and anxiety, but there are ways to manage these tendencies.
🌍 Global perspective on stress and medication: The speaker notes the high use of sleeping pills and antidepressants in some countries, suggesting a need for alternative coping mechanisms.
👶 Children and stress: The modern world is causing stress in children too, with a loss of play and overprotection, indicating a broader societal issue.
🎭 Using humor as a form of self-care: The speaker suggests intentionally laughing, even when alone, as a way to improve mental well-being and foster a lighter outlook on life.

Q & A

How long has the speaker been teaching stress management?
-The speaker has been teaching stress management for about 30 years.
What is the speaker's cultural background?
-The speaker is a Sicilian girl from Brooklyn, born into an Italian family.
What was the speaker's observation about the concept of stress in her family's past?
-The speaker observed that the word 'stress' did not exist in her family's past, and people did not talk about stress despite facing hardships like war and depression.
How did the speaker's family cope with difficulties in the past?
-The speaker's family coped with difficulties by laughing a lot, eating together, and having a strong community of neighbors who supported each other.
What does the speaker suggest is a modern problem that contributes to increased stress?
-The speaker suggests that the modern problem of people constantly needing to share their activities and problems with others, often through social media, contributes to increased stress.
What is the speaker's opinion on the use of humor to manage stress?
-The speaker believes that humor is a powerful tool to manage stress and that becoming a witness to one's own behavior and finding the funny in situations can help alleviate stress.
What is the significance of the red nose suggested by the speaker?
-The red nose is suggested as a humorous prop to help individuals shift their perspective and find the absurdity in their complaints or situations, thereby reducing stress.
According to the speaker, how many thoughts go through our brains every day?
-The speaker mentions that we have about 60,000 thoughts that go through our brains every day, many of which are there to disturb us.
What is the term 'catastrophizing and awfulizing' mentioned by the speaker?
-The term 'catastrophizing and awfulizing' refers to the tendency to always expect the worst and imagine the most terrible outcomes, a concept developed by Dr. Albert Ellis in the context of rational emotive therapy.
What does the speaker suggest we do when we find ourselves in a state of stress?
-The speaker suggests giving oneself a standing ovation as a way to positively acknowledge one's own resilience and ability to handle stress.
How does the speaker feel about the current state of children and their ability to enjoy life?
-The speaker expresses concern that children no longer know how to be kids and that human beings in general have lost the ability to enjoy life due to constant stress.
What is the speaker's vision for the future?
-The speaker's vision for the future is to see the world lighten up, with each person having a light heart that they can share with others, thereby changing the energy of the world.

Outlines

00:00

😀 The Absurdity of Modern Stress

The speaker, a stress management teacher with 30 years of experience, humorously discusses how people seem to be increasingly stressed despite the absence of the concept of stress in her dramatic Sicilian upbringing. She reminisces about her family's resilience during challenging times like the Depression and World War II, highlighting their use of humor, food, and community to cope. The speaker pokes fun at contemporary stress culture, where people are overly concerned with health fads and lack the community support of the past.

05:00

😂 The Rise of Stress-Related Issues

The speaker continues to humorously address the prevalence of stress in modern society, noting the increase in physical ailments, insomnia, and the use of medication to treat stress-related problems. She satirically suggests that the audience give themselves a standing ovation for surviving their own stress. She emphasizes the negative impact of constant worrying and the influence of fear-inducing media, encouraging the audience to recognize the irrationality of many of their stressors.

10:01

😌 Becoming the Witness to Your Behavior

The speaker uses humor to encourage self-reflection and a shift in perspective on stress. She talks about the importance of not taking oneself too seriously and observing one's own reactions to stressors. She uses anecdotes and rhetorical questions to illustrate the absurdity of certain behaviors, such as complaining about traffic or being annoyed by other shoppers. The speaker suggests that by becoming a witness to our own actions, we can better manage our stress and live more lighthearted lives.

15:03

🤣 Embracing Humor and Lightness

The speaker encourages the audience to engage with life and each other with humor and lightness. She proposes laughing on purpose and smiling often as ways to improve one's mood and spread positivity. She humorously suggests buying a red nose as a prop to change one's perspective on complaining and to add levity to serious situations. The speaker emphasizes the importance of enjoying life and not taking everything too seriously, as life is short and we should strive to lighten up.

20:05

🙏 Finding Humility and Connection Through Laughter

In the concluding paragraph, the speaker reflects on the power of laughter to foster humility and connection among people. She acknowledges the vulnerability that comes with being human and thanks the audience for their attention. The speaker's message is that by laughing at ourselves and not taking life too seriously, we can form stronger bonds with others and enjoy a more fulfilling life.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Stress Management

Stress management refers to a wide range of techniques and strategies used to cope with stress. In the video, the speaker, a stress management teacher for 30 years, discusses how people are increasingly feeling overwhelmed by stress, which is a central theme of the presentation.

💡Community Support

Community support denotes the assistance and sense of belonging that individuals derive from their interactions with neighbors and local community. The speaker reminisces about a time when neighbors provided emotional support and practical help, which contributed to a sense of resilience in the face of adversity.

💡Humor

Humor is the quality of being funny or entertaining, and is used in the video as a tool for coping with stress. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding humor in life as a means to alleviate stress and to foster connections with others, as laughter and light-heartedness can create a more positive outlook.

💡Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is the act of imagining the worst possible outcome or scenario, often leading to increased stress and anxiety. The speaker uses the term, originally developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, to describe a common tendency to anticipate negative events, which exacerbates feelings of stress.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment, without judgment. The speaker suggests a Buddhist-like mindset of becoming a witness to one's own behavior as a form of mindfulness, which can help in managing stress by fostering self-awareness and a more rational perspective on situations.

💡Selfies

Selfies are self-portrait photographs, typically taken with a smartphone. The speaker criticizes the modern habit of taking selfies to document experiences, suggesting that it detracts from truly experiencing and enjoying the moment, as people are more focused on capturing the moment for later rather than living it fully.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the state of being open to attack or damage, but in a psychological context, it also refers to the willingness to show one's true feelings and emotions. The speaker talks about the universal vulnerability that connects all people and how embracing this can lead to more genuine and stress-relieving connections.

💡Pre-Suffering

Pre-suffering is a term used by the speaker to describe the act of anticipating and mentally preparing for future stress or hardship before it occurs. This concept is presented as counterproductive, as it can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of stress and negativity.

💡Overreactivity

Overreactivity refers to an exaggerated or excessive response to a stimulus or situation. The speaker mentions that some people have overreactive parts of their brain, which can contribute to heightened stress levels, and contrasts this with the calmer reactions observed in meditating Buddhist monks.

💡Laughter

Laughter is a natural expression of joy, amusement, or relief. Throughout the video, the speaker advocates for the use of laughter as a means to reduce stress and improve one's quality of life, suggesting that it can serve as a powerful antidote to the pressures of modern living.

💡Human Doings vs. Human Beings

The speaker differentiates between 'human doings' and 'human beings' to critique a society where people define themselves by their actions and achievements rather than their essence or existence. This distinction is central to the video's message about the importance of being present and authentic versus constantly doing and achieving.

Highlights

The speaker has been teaching stress management for 30 years and observes that people are increasingly stressed.

Despite growing up in a dramatic Italian family, the concept of 'stress' was not discussed.

The speaker humorously describes her family's operatic lifestyle and the absence of the word 'stress'.

People in the past seemed to 'roll with the punches' and had a strong community support system.

The modern lack of community and neighborly interactions is highlighted as a source of increased stress.

The speaker critiques the current obsession with health and fitness, suggesting it contributes to stress.

A call to see humor in life and to have a lighter approach to dealing with stress is made.

The speaker humorously recounts her grandmother's suffering, contrasting it with the joy found in laughter and food.

The importance of not taking oneself too seriously and the benefits of humor in stress management are emphasized.

The speaker pokes fun at the modern reliance on technology and social media for sharing life experiences.

A metaphor of 'human doings' versus 'human beings' is introduced to critique our busy and stressed culture.

The audience is encouraged to give themselves a standing ovation as a humorous way to combat stress.

The speaker discusses the prevalence of negative thinking and its impact on stress levels.

A challenge to the audience to change their mindset and to become a witness to their own behavior is presented.

The idea that we should not catastrophize or awfulize daily events is shared with practical examples.

The speaker shares her personal journey and how she has learned to manage her own stress through humor.

The importance of enjoying the present moment and not being constantly preoccupied with the future is underlined.

The concept of deliberately laughing and smiling to improve one's mood and reduce stress is introduced.

The speaker uses humor to suggest unconventional ways to handle stress, like wearing a red nose or a costume.

A final message of hope and encouragement to live a lighter, less stressful life is conveyed.

Transcripts

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