Crappy Childhood Fairy's Story of Healing Emotional Dysregulation After Growing Up in Abuse

Anna Runkle, known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, is introduced by the host as a YouTube content creator who helps people understand how PTSD affects them. The host admires Anna's practical advice, stemming from her personal experiences and mentoring others for two decades. The episode's focus is on dysregulation, its causes related to anxiety and trauma, and ways to manage it. Anna shares a brief version of her challenging upbringing, marked by her parents' alcoholism, violence, and the resulting poverty and neglect. She also mentions the loss of a sibling and her own struggles with PTSD, which were exacerbated by a random assault. Anna's recovery journey began with discovering Al Anon and therapy, although the latter initially led to more dysregulation.

Anna discusses her struggle with self-defeating behaviors and the impact of growing up with alcoholic parents and witnessing violence. She highlights her journey to healing, which was significantly aided by a writing exercise that served as a form of prayer, given to her by a friend. This technique helped her process her fears and resentments and ask for their removal. The process led to a remarkable recovery, enabling her to read, use a phone, and most importantly, restoring her will to live. Anna also describes the physical sensations she experienced as her body seemed to heal itself, and she began to reconnect with life and nature.

After her personal recovery, Anna began sponsoring women in Al Anon, eventually sponsoring around 300 individuals. She learned valuable skills in support and conflict resolution. Anna's focus shifted from solely alcoholism to complex PTSD (CPTSD) after reading books by Bessel Van der Kolk and Pete Walker. She realized her core issues were not solely related to her family's alcoholism but were rooted in CPTSD. This understanding led to self-forgiveness and a desire to educate others about CPTSD's impact on various aspects of life, including relationships and health.

Anna's personal journey and realizations about CPTSD led to the creation of her blog, which became a platform known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy. She shares her excitement in helping others through her work. The discussion then delves into the concept of dysregulation. Anna explains that everyone experiences dysregulation at times, feeling overwhelmed or flustered. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing dysregulation to avoid acting impulsively and making poor decisions. She also talks about the physical signs of dysregulation, such as numbness in her nose and hands, and how it affects the brain's wave patterns and heart rate variability.

Anna shares her strategies for self-regulation, which include daily writing practice, meditation, and tuning into her body's needs. She discusses the health consequences of dysregulation, including the correlation between trauma and chronic health issues. Anna also touches on the impact of trauma on unintended pregnancies and the importance of addressing trauma's effects. She emphasizes the need to re-regulate before addressing life problems that arose from dysregulation. Her approach involves recognizing dysregulation, avoiding immediate action, and using writing as a tool to process emotions and regain balance.

Anna talks about the challenges of discerning fault in conflicts and the importance of developing discernment to navigate life's problems effectively. She shares her methods for dealing with dysregulation, including recognizing the signs, slowing down the urgency to act, and using writing to process emotions. She also discusses the importance of self-awareness and communicating one's dysregulated state to others to prevent further harm and foster understanding. Anna emphasizes the need to pause, regroup, and then return to problem-solving with a clear mind.

Anna outlines various techniques for re-regulation, such as nervous system techniques, left-right movements, and physical contact with oneself. She also mentions the use of temperature changes, like cold showers, to shock the system back into regulation. Anna talks about the importance of establishing a morning routine to start the day centered and ready to face challenges. She also discusses the concept of self-soothing through physical touch and the use of weighted blankets or corner hugs for a sense of safety. The conversation concludes with an appreciation for Anna's insights and an invitation for further discussions.