Challenge yourself to step out of the norm | Khanh Vy Tran | TEDxVinschoolHanoi

TEDx Talks
28 Apr 202116:46
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe speaker recounts her journey of navigating societal and familial expectations in Vietnam while trying to pursue her passion for broadcasting and communication. She faces criticism for her voice and skills early on, leading her to doubt herself, but comes to realize the importance of self-acceptance and staying true to one's inner voice. The speaker emphasizes being comfortable with making mistakes and not trying to be someone you're not. She concludes that loving and accepting yourself is vital, and that individuality and diversity are precious.

Takeaways
  • 😊 The speaker was expected to follow a traditional path like her sisters, but wanted to pursue media and communication instead
  • 💡 She faced criticism for her voice and hosting skills early on, but persisted to improve
  • 🤔 She had to decide whether to sign with an entertainment company or finish college
  • 😮 A pivotal moment was realizing passion pushes you through difficulties, not quitting
  • 💭 She learned to listen to her inner voice more than others' opinions in big decisions
  • 👩‍🎓 Education and bringing value as a host/influencer was always her vision
  • 😟 She changed her voice based on feedback and lost her vibrancy and uniqueness
  • 🙁 The hardest person to forgive can be yourself for past mistakes
  • 🔆 Being yourself is simple advice but very difficult to actually do
  • 🌈 She emphasizes being your authentic self and loving who you are
Q & A

  • What was the speaker's expected career path according to her parents?

    -Her parents expected her to finish college, get married at 24, have a stable job, and then have kids - the same path as her two older sisters.

  • Why did the speaker's mother borrow money for her tuition fee?

    -The family had accumulated debt from the speaker's sisters' weddings, but her mother still wanted to support the speaker's education and borrowed money so she could participate in a national competition.

  • What career opportunity did the speaker pass up and why?

    -A CEO offered her a singing contract but she turned it down to finish her college degree, follow her passion for broadcasting, and bring value to people.

  • How did the speaker attempt to improve her voice initially and why did this strategy fail?

    -She lowered the pitch of her voice to sound less irritating based on audience feedback. However, this made her lose her energetic style that was her unique trait.

  • What important realization did the speaker have about being yourself?

    -She realized her true self was being covered up by fears and perceptions. Letting go of judgments and stories to uncover her authentic self was the hardest yet most rewarding thing.

  • Why does the speaker say making mistakes is okay?

    -The speaker argues that since every human makes mistakes, it's normal to feel bad sometimes. But this doesn't mean you failed or have to become someone else.

  • What is the speaker's main message about individuality?

    -She believes individuality and diversity are precious. Instead of changing to please others, be your authentic self since that uniqueness makes you special.

  • What is the 10-year challenge the speaker describes?

    -She challenges listeners to take a picture of themselves now and know that in 10 years they'll see how beautiful they already are.

  • How can people transform themselves according to the speaker?

    -The speaker argues people should love, accept, and then transform themselves rather than try to become someone else.

  • What does the speaker wish for her audience at the end of her talk?

    -She hopes they have a great day, love themselves, accept themselves, and transform themselves without changing who they truly are.

Outlines
00:00
😊 Introducing herself and family background

The speaker introduces herself as the youngest daughter in a traditional family. Her parents and sisters followed expected life paths - college, job, marriage, kids. When her sisters married, the family went into debt trying to maintain her decent life and education.

05:00
😟 Facing criticism for her voice and hosting skills

She hosted English learning shows on national TV. Viewers complained about her voice, hosting abilities, and English skills. Her mom asked if she wanted to quit due to the criticism, but she was determined to improve.

10:02
😔 Losing her voice trying to please others

She lowered her voice tone to address complaints. But then viewers missed her energetic vibe. She realized she lost herself trying to please everyone. A producer got upset that she was embarrassed by her old high-pitched voice.

15:04
😌 Loving and accepting yourself

She learned that the hardest person to forgive is herself. She advises not to change yourself or compare yourself to others. Embrace your individuality - that's what makes you special. It's ok to make mistakes sometimes.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡norm
The norm refers to what is considered normal or standard behavior within a family or social circle. The speaker talks about stepping outside the norm by choosing a career path different than what her parents envisioned. This represents her asserting her individuality and following her own dreams rather than conforming to expectations.
💡passion
Passion is used in the context of finding one's professional calling or life purpose. The speaker realizes hosting is her passion after persisting despite criticism, whereas singing was not since she quit when faced with negative feedback. Passion fuels perseverance through hardship in pursuing one's goals.
💡voice
Voice refers literally to the speaker's vocal pitch and quality, but also symbolizes her unique personality and identity. She changes her voice based on others' opinions, then realizes it was a mistake to deny her true self in trying to gain acceptance.
💡acceptance
Acceptance means positively recognizing one's own traits and having confidence in one's inherent worth. The speaker realizes she must accept herself rather than relying on external validation or trying to become someone else.
💡forgiveness
Forgiveness in this context is about letting go of self-judgment and shame for past mistakes. The speaker notes the hardest person to forgive is often oneself, but doing so is necessary to move forward.
💡fear
Fear of failure or criticism is identified as a major barrier preventing the speaker from showing her true self and living authentically. She suggests much self-perceived inadequacy is rooted in fearful thinking rather than reality.
💡meditation
Meditation and related practices help the speaker tune into her inner voice and find inner peace through letting go of fearful judgments about herself. This supports self-insight and trusting her core identity.
💡diversity
Diversity of identities and self-expression is cast as a universal positive, creating richness in life and society. The speaker argues self-acceptance enables individuality to flourish whereas conformity leads to lack of diversity.
💡transformation
Genuine transformation emerges from within through self-love, acceptance and listening to one's inner wisdom rather than chasing external markers of success. It is an ongoing process of actualizing one's best self.
💡love
Self-love, including self-acceptance, emerges as the foundation for fulfillment, confidence and living authentically. The speaker urges the audience to love themselves as they are rather than seek validation externally.
Highlights

I was the last born in my family that follows and honors traditional values

My parents expected me to have the same path as my sisters - finishing college, getting married at 24, having a job, and then having kids

I knew this path was not for me. All I wanted to do was television and communication.

Passion is something that pushes you through difficult times because you don't care whatever it takes to become better

I decided to change my voice by lowering the tone when speaking English

When the audience couldn't find my positive energy, it felt like a loss of a part of my body

I listened to people's opinions and changed who I am because I thought others might accept me for it

The hardest person to forgive on this earth is myself

My true self is actually being covered up with thinking and perception which is based on fear

Take a picture of your face today and remember that in 10 years you will be amazed at how gorgeous and beautiful you are

My stories of stepping outside the norm is challenging myself but it is not about changing myself

It's okay to feel bad sometimes, because the cloud rains when it's heavy too

You don't have to try to become anyone else, you just be you, and being you, being authentic, being an individual is enough

Individuality makes diversity and individuality and diversities are two most precious things on this earth

No matter what you are facing right now, please never change yourself, love yourself, accept yourself

Transcripts

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