The public speaking lesson you never had | DK . | TEDxNelson

TEDx Talks
1 Dec 202219:15
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe speaker shares his personal story of overcoming a speech impediment to become a public speaking coach. He explains the three key elements of giving a great talk - grace (how you say it), credibility (what you say) and resonance (how you make the audience feel). He emphasizes being yourself, using personal stories not bullet points, mirroring the audience's emotions, and reframing nerves as excitement. His main message is that connecting with your authentic self and the audience through storytelling is more important than perfect delivery.

Takeaways
  • 😊 Grace - how you deliver your talk is as important as what you say
  • 💪 Stand firm and grounded while presenting
  • 😎 Use rockstar poses and stances to establish credibility
  • 🤓 Avoid shaking hands by holding a clicker or handkerchief
  • 📑 Don't use full scripts, just bullet points to guide your narrative
  • ✂️ Craft great stories from lived experiences, not just information
  • 🚫 Bullet points kill attention - reveal them as you speak
  • 🎭 Mirror the audience's emotions to create resonance
  • 😌 Breathe deeply to calm nerves and reframe as excitement
  • 🧘‍♂️ You're not nervous, you're excited to speak!
Q & A

  • What are the three key elements the speaker mentions for delivering a great talk?

    -The three key elements are grace, credibility, and resonance.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'grace' when talking about public speaking?

    -Grace refers to how you deliver your talk - your body language, posture, gestures etc. It's about being comfortable and confident in how you present yourself.

  • Why does the speaker advise against using scripts when public speaking?

    -The speaker advises against scripts because people tend to write differently than they speak. Also, practicing with a script creates a false sense of preparation since the actual speaking conditions with an audience will be very different.

  • What model does the speaker recommend for structuring presentations?

    -The speaker recommends a simple model of: tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.

  • How can resonant stories connect with an audience?

    -Resonant stories with emotional content and human experiences are more likely to connect with an audience than dry facts and information.

  • What is the Jedi mind trick the speaker mentions?

    -The Jedi mind trick is a breathing exercise to relax and a mental reframing technique - changing 'nervous' to 'excited' - to alter the physiological response.

  • How did the speaker turn his hearing difficulty into a speaking skill?

    -Through speech therapy from a young age, the speaker learned the importance of careful listening in order to then speak clearly. He was able to apply this skill as an adult speaker.

  • What makes brevity a tough skill for speakers?

    -Brevity is tough because it requires disciplined editing to distill information down to only the most critical elements needed to make the point.

  • Why should slides avoid bullet points during a talk?

    -Bullets cause the audience to read ahead while the speaker is still talking, creating divided attention and comprehension gaps.

  • What is the benefit of revealing vulnerabilities as a speaker?

    -Revealing appropriate vulnerabilities makes a speaker more relatable and human to the audience, establishing trust and connection.

Outlines
00:00
😄 Introducing the speaker and his background

The speaker introduces himself - born in Wales, had hearing issues and speech therapy as a child, has done lots of public speaking globally. He now coaches others on public speaking and helps them find their voice.

05:02
😎 Discussing important elements of delivery and physicality when speaking

The speaker discusses important physical elements of public speaking - standing firmly, avoiding distracting movement like hip hopping or one-legged stances. He shares tips like the 'soft rockstar pose' to stand strong.

10:02
📝 Why you shouldn't use scripts when speaking

The speaker advises against using scripts when public speaking - we write differently than we speak, so scripts sound unnatural. Practicing with a script at home with supportive audiences gives false confidence. He suggests preparing talking points instead.

15:03
🎯 Crafting stories and content that resonates with the audience

The speaker discusses crafting credible, resonant content - use brevity, tell lived experiences, segment complex info. Reminds that talks should aim beyond just information, to connect with the audience's emotions.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Grace
Grace refers to the delivery and body language of the speaker, not just the content. The speaker emphasizes the importance of standing firmly, avoiding shakes or nervous gestures, and using positive body language to convey calmness and confidence. Good grace helps the audience focus on the message rather than the delivery.
💡Credibility
Credibility refers to the actual content and stories that the speaker shares to convey his message. The speaker encourages the use of brevity, lived experiences, and emotional resonance rather than bullet points or complex data. Establishing credibility through impactful stories helps the audience relate to and trust the speaker.
💡Resonance
Resonance refers to the emotional impact the talk has on the audience. The goal is to avoid simply conveying information and instead connect with the listeners and inspire particular feelings through stories, passion, and body language. Leaving the audience feeling curiosity, hope, or determination creates resonance.
💡Physiological responses
The speaker acknowledges the natural physiological responses like nervous shakes that speakers can experience when presenting. He provides techniques to counter this and reframe the response as excitement rather than fear. Controlling physiological responses helps speakers stay focused.
💡Jedi mind trick
The speaker refers to reframing nervousness as excitement rather than fear as a Jedi mind trick to calm physiological responses. This mental reframing, combined with slow breathing, can trick the mind and body into feeling more positive and able to present with confidence.
💡Script
The speaker strongly advises against using a written script when presenting, as it can amplify nervous shakes and make a speaker seem stiff. Spontaneous stories and passion tend to resonate more than a pre-planned script delivered without emotion.
💡Gesticulate
Speakers tend to gesticulate or use hand gestures unconsciously when presenting, especially when nervous. The speaker suggests having a prop like a clicker in hand or keeping hands in pockets to avoid distracting, repetitive gestures that pull audience focus.
💡Brevity
Being brief and concise is challenging but critical for impactful speaking. The speaker emphasizes crafting stories and content through editing and distillation rather than including unnecessary details just to fill time.
💡Narrative
The speaker recommends using personal narrative formats like sharing where you started, the journey to where you finished, and what was learned. This narrative format helps the audience relate to and engage with the speaker's story.
💡Emotion
The goal is to inspire emotion rather than simply convey information. The speaker suggests using stories, passion, facial expressions and body language to spark audience feelings like curiosity, hope, and inspiration rather than neutrality or boredom.
Highlights

I've turned listening into my speaking skill in terms of what I get to to in a little bit how speaking can really be more about listen listening than it is about talking

Grace it's not what you're saying it's how you were saying it, credibility that's the stuff coming out your mouth now that's the stories you choose to tell and the way in which you choose to tell them

The great Maya Angelou paraphrasing her here said that obviously people will remind me how you made them feel a lot longer than what you told them or what you did

My favorite thing with clients is to stop them walking too much stop them moving in a weird wonderful way so I'm going to show you all the weird and wonderful ways in which people tell me other things about themselves

Some people do a couple of different things one called a hip Bop, and the other is called one-legged walk-in again I'm sorry I'm gonna show you this stuff you can't and see it but the hip-hop is obviously they sit on the hip then they transfer their weight onto the other hip

Stand first before you speak just your feet

The reason why you should never use a script there's a couple of reasons I'm going to illustrate it with this lovely, strategically placed piece of paper

You can't practice public speaking, they're out loud you can only prepare for how you're going to feel when you stand on the stage with 100 people that you don't know and you're trying to impress them

Brevity is tough to do, and we've all been in a situations where the boss says yeah I'll just speak for two minutes and 10 minutes later you're thinking have you got a point it's always fun for the listener if you do right get to it in other words so think about brevity as a skill as a condensed distillation skill

My favorite model is get up tell me what you're going to tell me tell me tell me what you told me, it's the simplest presentation model out there really simple right

Don't have it you can get my point the whole physicality lends itself to the resonance

The worst place in given a presentation is in the middle, that's the information ma realm m-e-h okay I have no feeling towards that it's just information right I'm not saying don't have information I'm saying humanize that information as much as possible whether it's you in the story whether someone else a user and you know an end experience user of something throw humans as much as possible into your story

People are going to mirror your emotion so when you get excited and lean and you use your hand you're going to feel a little bit of oh he's coming forward I should be paying attention to you

You're not nervous you're excited, not nervous yet excited and as soon as I clicks into their brain the physiological responses actually had kind of amplify that excitement

If you had a little bit of Grace and credibility and resonance with a little bit of a Yoda Jedi mind trick going on, you can then speak with a plum and connect to an audience and also whilst you're up here have a little bit of fun

Transcripts

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