The courage to trust yourself...listen to the nudges | Jo Simpson | TEDxUniversityofEdinburgh

TEDx Talks
11 Mar 201616:46
EducationalLearning
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TLDRThe speaker at a leadership conference poses a thought-provoking question: 'What decision are you not making?' He shares personal anecdotes and emphasizes the importance of listening to our inner nudges or intuition, which often guide us towards the right decisions. By tuning into our core values, we can make choices that align with what truly matters to us. The speaker recounts his own experiences, such as the decision to become a coach despite financial constraints, which led to a series of fortunate events. He encourages the audience to trust their instincts, act on their nudges, and not wait for life's 'steamrollers' to force change. The message is clear: when we are true to ourselves and act with conviction, our decisions will lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

Takeaways
  • ๐Ÿค” The importance of making decisions: The speaker emphasizes the need to make decisions, even if they are difficult, rather than avoiding them.
  • ๐ŸŽจ The role of intuition: Intuition, or inner voice, is a powerful guide that can help direct us towards the right decisions.
  • ๐Ÿšง Nudge and slap metaphor: Life gives us gentle nudges that escalate to more significant events if we ignore them, like a 'slap around the face' or a 'steamroller'.
  • ๐Ÿก Alan's house-moving story: A real-life example illustrating the impact of listening to one's intuition and making a decision based on it.
  • ๐Ÿง  Trusting your core values: Aligning decisions with core values can lead to more authentic and fulfilling outcomes.
  • ๐Ÿ›ค๏ธ The path of choice: The story of choosing a path in Richmond Park symbolizes the importance of following one's intuition and values.
  • ๐Ÿ”‘ Three powerful questions: Asking what's important, what one enjoys, and what frustrates can reveal core values and guide decision-making.
  • ๐Ÿ’ฐ Financial coincidence: A personal anecdote about a financial decision that seemed daunting but aligned with the speaker's values and led to a positive outcome.
  • ๐ŸŒ Moving back to the UK: A significant decision influenced by a strong intuitive call, which later proved to be life-changing.
  • ๐Ÿ“š Publishing a book: The speaker's journey to publishing a book and the challenges faced, highlighting the importance of taking bold steps.
  • ๐Ÿ’ช Playing big: The message to embrace one's potential, trust the process, and act on nudges to achieve greater impact in life.
Q & A
  • What was the opening question of the keynote at the leadership conference?

    -The opening question was 'What decision are you not making?'

  • How did the artist's drawing inspire the speaker to share their experience on social media?

    -The speaker thought the drawing was brilliant and decided to post it on Facebook, which led to a call from a dear friend prompting further reflection on the opening question.

  • What is the significance of 'nudges' in the context of the speech?

    -Nudges are subtle hints or signals that we receive to guide our actions. They are important because they often indicate a course of action that we should take, and if ignored, they can lead to more significant events that force change.

  • How did the speaker's friend confront them about their own words?

    -The friend called the speaker and asked, 'So what decision are you not making, Joe?' which made the speaker reflect on decisions they had been avoiding.

  • Why is it important to listen to our 'nudges'?

    -Listening to nudges is important because they can guide us towards the right decisions and actions. Ignoring them may lead to more drastic changes or difficulties later on in life.

  • What does the speaker suggest is the source of our intuition or inner voice?

    -The speaker suggests that there is a part of us, which could be called intuition, inner voice, or instinct, that always knows what to do in any given circumstance.

  • What was the dilemma faced by the speaker's hairdresser, Alan?

    -Alan was facing issues with buying his dream house. The sellers were delaying the move, and there was no written agreement or exchange date, causing Alan frustration and doubt about whether it was the right house.

  • How did Alan resolve his house-moving dilemma?

    -Alan decided to set a deadline for an exchange date and informed the other party that if it wasn't met by mid-December, he would call off the deal. When the sellers couldn't commit to the deadline, Alan called off the deal and soon found a new house that he moved into more quickly and was happier with.

  • What role do core values play in decision-making according to the speaker?

    -Core values are central to every decision we make, every relationship we encounter, and every goal we achieve. They act as a guide to ensure that our decisions align with what truly matters to us.

  • What are the three powerful questions the speaker suggests we ask ourselves to understand our values?

    -The three questions are: 1) What's important to you? 2) What do you enjoy? 3) What frustrates you?

  • How did the speaker's decision to invest in a coaching diploma lead to a significant financial coincidence?

    -The speaker decided to invest in a coaching diploma despite not having the funds. Shortly after, the speaker's company was acquired, and they were forced to cash in their shares, which amounted to nearly the exact cost of the diploma.

  • What was the significant message the speaker received during meditation in May 2009?

    -The speaker received a calling during meditation that told them it was time to return to their home country to serve its leaders, despite having a successful coaching business in Dubai.

Outlines
00:00
๐Ÿค” The Importance of Listening to Life's Nudges

The speaker begins by posing a question about decisions we avoid making and shares an anecdote from a leadership conference. They recount how an artist captured their speech in drawings, and the speaker's subsequent sharing of this on Facebook led to a call from a close friend. This conversation prompted self-reflection on decisions not taken. The speaker discusses how life gives us 'nudges' or hints that we should take certain actions, and if ignored, these can escalate into significant events that force change. They suggest that we have an inner voice or intuition that always knows the right action and encourage the audience to trust and act on these nudges. They share a personal story about a hairdresser named Alan, who, after much indecision and frustration, made a firm decision about a house move that led to a better outcome. The speaker emphasizes the importance of trusting one's intuition.

05:01
๐Ÿ  Aligning Decisions with Core Values

The speaker continues with the story of Alan, who found his dream home after deciding to trust his intuition. They emphasize the importance of listening to one's inner voice and making decisions that align with core values. To help the audience identify their values, the speaker suggests three reflective questions: what's important to you, what do you enjoy, and what frustrates you. The speaker shares a personal experience in Richmond Park, where they chose a path that signified mystery and adventure over a more secure option. They explain that such decisions should be checked against one's core values to ensure they are in alignment with what truly matters to the individual.

10:04
๐Ÿ’ผ Trusting Intuition in Professional Decisions

The speaker describes a significant turning point in their career when they decided to pursue coaching despite financial constraints. They share how they overcame the hurdle of a ยฃ3,500 course fee by signing up for a diploma in coaching, which coincided with a financial windfall from shares tied to their employment. This experience reinforced their belief in the power of acting on one's intuition. They recount the challenges and successes of setting up a coaching business in Dubai and the strong intuitive 'calling' they received to return to the UK, which they initially resisted but eventually followed. This decision led to personal and professional growth, including meeting their partner and expanding their business.

15:04
๐ŸŒŸ Playing Big and Responding to Life's Call

The speaker talks about the importance of 'playing big' and acting on one's life's purpose. They share how they received a powerful nudge during meditation to return to the UK and serve its leaders, despite a successful coaching business in Dubai. They highlight the fear and excitement that comes with listening to these nudges and the subsequent positive changes that occurred in their life. The speaker also discusses their struggle with adrenal fatigue, which was a signal that they needed to make significant changes. They encourage the audience to listen to their nudges, align with their core values, and have the courage to trust themselves. They end with a call to action, urging the audience to embrace life's guidance and trust in their own intuition.

Mindmap
Keywords
๐Ÿ’กDecision-making
Decision-making refers to the cognitive process of selecting a course of action from among multiple alternatives, which involves weighing the pros and cons of each option. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of making decisions that align with one's core values and intuition, as exemplified by the story of the speaker's friend Alan who made a decisive choice regarding a problematic house move.
๐Ÿ’กIntuition
Intuition is the ability to understand or know something without conscious reasoning. It is often associated with a gut feeling or an inner voice guiding one's actions. The speaker discusses trusting one's intuition as a way to make decisions, especially when faced with nudges or prompts from within that suggest a particular course of action.
๐Ÿ’กNudges
Nudges are subtle hints or prompts that encourage action or indicate a course of behavior. In the context of the video, nudges are internal signals that suggest a certain decision or path of action. The speaker shares personal anecdotes about how ignoring these nudges can lead to larger, more disruptive events ('steamrollers of life') that force change.
๐Ÿ’กCore values
Core values are the fundamental beliefs or ideals that guide an individual's actions and decisions. The speaker highlights the significance of core values in making decisions, suggesting that they are at the heart of every choice one makes. By aligning decisions with one's core values, one can ensure that the actions taken are true to oneself.
๐Ÿ’กSteamrollers of life
The term 'steamrollers of life' is used metaphorically to describe significant, often disruptive, events or circumstances that force individuals to change their course of action. The speaker uses this phrase to illustrate the consequences of not heeding smaller, earlier signs (nudges), which can lead to more drastic changes being imposed by life's circumstances.
๐Ÿ’กProactivity
Proactivity is the quality of being proactive, or initiating action rather than waiting for external stimulation. The video encourages viewers to be proactive in listening to their nudges and making decisions based on them, rather than waiting for life's 'steamrollers' to force action.
๐Ÿ’กLeadership conference
A leadership conference is an event where leaders gather to discuss, learn, and share ideas related to leadership. In the script, the speaker mentions opening a keynote at a leadership conference with a thought-provoking question, setting the stage for the discussion on decision-making and personal growth.
๐Ÿ’ก
๐Ÿ’กAdrenal fatigue
Adrenal fatigue is a condition where the adrenal glands function below the necessary levels, resulting in symptoms such as chronic fatigue, weakness, and exhaustion. The speaker mentions suffering from adrenal fatigue, which served as a nudge to make significant changes in their life and work, highlighting the importance of listening to one's body.
๐Ÿ’กBurnout
Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It is mentioned in the context of the speaker's health challenges, which ultimately led to a realization about the need for change and a greater commitment to their message and purpose.
๐Ÿ’กPlaying big
Playing big refers to taking bold actions, stepping out of one's comfort zone, and fully embracing one's potential and purpose. The speaker discusses the importance of playing big, especially after recognizing signs of burnout, and making the decision to share their message more widely, which involved setting up an accreditation program and developing an online learning platform.
๐Ÿ’กMeditation
Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique, such as focusing their mind on a particular object, thought, or activity, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state. The speaker mentions receiving a significant nudge during meditation to return to their home country and serve its leaders, underscoring the role of meditation as a tool for self-discovery and clarity.
Highlights

The importance of listening to internal nudges and making proactive decisions is emphasized.

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a friend's experience with decision-making.

Discussion on how ignoring nudges can lead to significant life disruptions.

Examples of life events like redundancy, health scares, and relationship breakdowns are mentioned as consequences of ignoring internal signals.

The importance of paying attention to intuitive nudges and taking proactive action is highlighted.

The speaker illustrates the story of a friend's decision to back out of a house purchase, emphasizing the significance of inner conviction.

The concept of trusting inner guidance and acting based on core values is introduced.

The speaker presents Richmond Park as a metaphor for choosing paths in life, encouraging listeners to reflect on their drivers and motivations.

Three powerful questions are proposed to help identify core values: What's important to you? What do you enjoy? What frustrates you?

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a significant decision made in pursuit of coaching despite financial constraints, which led to unexpected financial gain.

The importance of listening to inner callings, even when they defy logic, is emphasized through the speaker's decision to return to their home country.

The speaker's journey towards playing a bigger role in their field is recounted, despite facing obstacles like adrenal fatigue.

Encouragement is given to listeners to trust their inner nudges, align with core values, and have the courage to pursue their aspirations.

The audience is urged to take action on their inner nudges and avoid being overrun by life's challenges.

The speaker concludes with a daring challenge for listeners to trust themselves and take bold steps towards their goals.

Transcripts
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