Problems of living together as a mixed couple
TLDRA Vietnamese woman shares cultural differences she experiences living with her German boyfriend. She describes his habits of frequently airing out their home in winter, inability to read subtitles, clinginess to old items, loud phone calls with family, carelessness with belongings, and leaving dirty clothes on the floor. They have found compromises over time like buying dehumidifiers, her reading subtitles aloud, and him keeping less stuff. While some arguments continue, they have settled most issues through open communication and respect.
Takeaways
- 😨 They had issues with humidity and mold in their old apartment
- 😎 He loves fresh air and opens windows often, making her cold
- 😵💫 He can't read subtitles while watching foreign films
- 😀 She loudly talks to her family in Vietnam when they call
- 📦 He keeps too many things and has trouble letting go
- 💥 She bumps into things and breaks items sometimes
- ⏰ She struggles with being on time and catching public transit
- 👕 He would leave dirty clothes on hotel floors while traveling
- 🤝 They have found solutions for most issues over time
- 😊 Now they don't argue as much about these cultural differences
Q & A
What are some of the cultural differences that caused issues when they first moved in together?
-Some of the main cultural differences that caused issues were his love for fresh air and opening windows, her tendency to cook soupy meals leading to humidity issues, his inability to read subtitles on foreign films, and their family communication norms being very different.
How did they deal with the humidity and mold issues in their old apartment?
-They bought 2 dehumidifiers that worked constantly to remove moisture from the air. This made the air too dry for her though, causing other issues. Ultimately they decided to move to a new apartment that did not have any humidity issues.
Why does he have difficulty watching foreign films?
-He grew up in Germany always watching films and TV shows dubbed in German. So his eyes were not trained to read subtitles while also watching the visuals on screen at the same time.
What is the issue with how she talks to her family on the phone?
-When she talks to her family in Vietnam on the phone, she screams very loudly so they can hear her across the long distance. This bothers him and forces him to leave the room every time.
What evidence shows he has a tendency to keep too many unnecessary things?
-When they first moved in together, his house was filled with many useless items to the point she could barely walk around. He also admitted to having multiple backup versions of things he didn't really need.
What is her clumsy tendency and how does it bother him?
-She frequently bumps into things, drops items, and damages possessions around the house. This bothers him because he tries hard to maintain things so they last a long time.
What is the issue around punctuality and transportation?
-He informs her they need to leave 20 minutes ahead of time to catch public transit, but she is never ready on time. Her solution is calling a taxi instead which frustrates him due to the unnecessary added cost.
What was his unhygienic habit regarding clothes?
-He used to just throw dirty clothes on the floor in hotel rooms while traveling. She considers this extremely unhygienic and has gotten him to stop doing it.
Why does he think there was less conflict in this video discussion?
-He believes they argue less now because they have found solutions for most of their issues after living together for years and settling into shared norms and compromises.
What are some examples of Vietnamese and German cultural norms highlighted in their issues?
-Examples include her always taking family calls immediately versus his family scheduling calls in advance, her liking a humid home environment versus his focus on preventing mold, and their different norms around punctuality and transportation habits.
Outlines
😊 Opening remarks and my German boyfriend's love for fresh air
The narrator introduces that she has a German boyfriend and has lived with him for 4 years. She explains that one problem she has with him is that he loves fresh air and always opens the windows, even when it's freezing cold outside. This made their apartment very cold. They tried solutions like getting dehumidifiers but then the air became too dry for her. Finally they moved to a new apartment that resolved the humidity issues.
😣 My boyfriend can't read subtitles
The narrator shares that another problem is her boyfriend can't read subtitles because he always watched dubbed German versions of movies. This means they can't watch many foreign films together in the original language, which she prefers. She found a solution by reading the subtitles aloud to him for some films she really wanted to see.
😊 His sweet but loud phone calls with family
The narrator explains her boyfriend always answers calls from his family immediately. This is sweet but he doesn't realize he doesn't need to yell. She has to leave the room when he's on calls. His family also schedules calls in advance unlike her more spontaneous family.
😉 We've worked through other quirks over time
The narrator wraps up by saying they have found solutions for most issues over time. Other quirks she mentioned: he keeps too many things, he doesn't take good care of items, and he used to just throw dirty clothes on the floor during trips. She expresses optimism that they have settled their differences.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡cultural differences
💡fresh air
💡clashes
💡humidity
💡dubbing
💡hoarding
💡punctuality
💡scheduling
💡shouting
💡solutions
Highlights
He loves having the windows open for fresh air, even when it's freezing cold outside
The humidity and mold issues in their old apartment led them to get a dehumidifier and eventually move out
He grew up always watching dubbed movies and shows, so he can't read subtitles while watching
She answers calls from her family in Vietnam loudly, while he prefers scheduled calls
He used to keep lots of unnecessary things before she helped him realize he had a hoarding issue
She's very clumsy and bumps into things often, while he tries to take good care of items
He would just throw dirty clothes on the hotel floor while traveling before she complained
They don't have a car, so she would often be late when taking public transportation
They've found solutions for most issues after living together for years
The humidity and mold issues led them to get dehumidifiers and eventually move
She loudly talks to her family in Vietnam while he prefers scheduled calls
She helped him realize he was keeping too many unnecessary things
She bumps into things often while he tries to take good care of items
He would throw dirty hotel clothes on the floor before she complained
She was often late taking public transportation before improving over time
Transcripts
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