Asking each other uncomfortable questions

Uyen Ninh
12 Jan 202417:09
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThis video follows an intercultural couple discussing the ups and downs of their relationship. The Vietnamese woman and German man detail their families' reactions to their unlikely pairing, poking fun at stereotypes. They touch on frustrations over communication barriers but shared adaptability. Overall, they attribute their success to open-mindedness, personality compatibility overriding cultural differences, and celebrating their diversity.

Takeaways
  • 😊 They are an interracial couple - she is Vietnamese and he is German
  • 👫 Their families had very different reactions when they found out about their relationship
  • 👴 Her parents had concerns about her not being there for them when they are old
  • 🤑 Her parents assumed he was rich because he is German and white
  • ⛄ He feels he can express himself better in English than his native language
  • 🍻 He loves the huge variety of German beers
  • 🎭 She loves the traditional cultural places in Vietnam like the water puppet theater
  • 🤷‍♂️ He dislikes the indirect communication style in Vietnam
  • 🦄 She expected him to be more romantic like Korean drama male leads
  • 💑 They feel their relationship works because of their personality match and open-mindedness
Q & A

  • What was the German boyfriend's family's reaction when they found out he was dating someone from Vietnam?

    -His family didn't have a big reaction. They were just happy he had a girlfriend and were supportive.

  • Did the German boyfriend's family have any misconceptions about Vietnamese people?

    -No, his family showed a lot of intercultural understanding. The author notes she thought there might be weird comments but there were none.

  • Does the German boyfriend fulfill any German stereotypes?

    -The author says both yes and no. On one hand he is punctual, which is a stereotype. But he is also very emotional, which breaks the stereotype of Germans being reserved.

  • What does the author like about German culture?

    -She likes the lack of hierarchy in the language between young and old. She also loves German beer and how there are thousands of different kinds.

  • Has the German boyfriend ever felt he couldn't express himself properly in English during fights?

    -No, he says he has a hard time expressing himself when frustrated even in German. So not speaking his native language doesn't matter.

  • What was one of the early fights the couple had over cultural differences?

    -The author expected the boyfriend to be very romantic like in Korean dramas she watched. But he refused to do things like give her piggyback rides in public or tie her shoelaces.

  • What is one thing the boyfriend dislikes about Vietnamese culture?

    -He dislikes the lack of direct communication. Vietnamese people often "beat around the bush" instead of directly stating if they have an issue.

  • What practical skill did the author learn from her German boyfriend?

    -She learned how to efficiently pack groceries in Germany. Her boyfriend taught her to put heavy durable items on the bottom and lighter fragile items on top.

  • Why does the author think her relationship with someone from a different culture works?

    -She says it's because they celebrate their differences and respect each other's cultures. Also their personalities fit well together.

  • Does the author think it was worthwhile discussing cultural differences on camera?

    -Yes, she says at the end it was really fun to film the video and talk about their differences. She hopes the audience enjoyed it too.

Outlines
00:00
😊 Introducing the Interracial Couple and Video Premise

The couple introduces themselves - the author is Vietnamese growing up in Vietnam, while her boyfriend is German. They discuss how they will have an open discussion in this video about insights and questions related to being in an interracial relationship.

05:04
😮 Reactions from Family Members

The author's parents were saddened since she was very close to them and they hoped she would stay and take care of them. The German boyfriend's family had a calm, positive reaction and were just happy he found a girlfriend. The author notes how he didn't tell his parents about her for 3 years.

10:04
👩‍❤️‍👨 Discussing Cultural Stereotypes

They discuss and joke about stereotypes - the author's family thinks all Germans are rich, while the boyfriend is emotional compared to other Germans. The author also exhibits Vietnamese stereotypes like speaking loudly. Neither feel they are unable to express themselves fully in English.

15:07
🤝 Reasons Why Their Relationship Works

They attribute their relationship success to open-mindedness, having an awareness and appreciation of their differences, having mutual respect, and personality compatibility that makes cultural differences less challenging.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡multicultural relationship
A romantic relationship between two people from different cultural backgrounds. This is a central theme of the video, which discusses the experiences of a Vietnamese woman and her German boyfriend being in an intercultural relationship. It explores cultural differences they notice and navigate.
💡culture
The beliefs, customs, arts, etc. of a particular society, group, place, or time. Understanding each other's cultures, including things like family values, etiquette, gender roles, etc. can be a challenge for the couple in navigating their multicultural relationship.
💡language
The system of communication used by a particular country or community. The couple communicates in English rather than their native languages. This allows them to express themselves clearly despite cultural/language differences.
💡stereotype
A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image/idea of a particular type of person or thing. They discuss stereotypes their families had about each other's cultures and whether they fulfill any of those stereotypes.
💡hierarchy
A system or organization in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority. She notes that Vietnamese culture has more hierarchical relationships based on age/seniority compared to German culture.
💡hospitality
The friendly and generous reception/entertainment of guests or strangers. She remarks that Vietnamese culture emphasizes hospitality, especially towards Western guests.
💡family
A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. She contrasts the smaller nuclear family structure in Germany with the larger extended family model in Vietnam.
💡values
A person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life. Accepting each other's different cultural values, being open-minded and showing mutual respect allows their intercultural relationship to work.
💡traditions
The transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way. They appreciate learning about each other's cultural traditions.
💡communication
The imparting or exchanging of information or news. Open and patient communication, trying to truly understand each other's perspectives, helps them bridge cultural gaps.
Highlights

Parents were shocked and sad when they found out I was dating someone far away

Vietnamese parents think foreigners are rich so they were happy about the relationship

German parents were very supportive and showed intercultural understanding

Developed our own language rules over time to understand each other better

I like the lack of hierarchy for age and gender in German culture

Love the huge variety of German beers and how each one is a different experience

Appreciate the preserved historical/cultural sites in Vietnam

Germans take a long time to think before answering even simple questions

Big difference in size of families between Germany and Vietnam

Hard for Germans to understand Vietnamese indirect communication

Early relationship fight about not meeting unrealistic romantic expectations

Learned to cut sausages properly and be more chilled from my partner

Learned to pack groceries efficiently from my German partner

Cultural differences not an issue because we have open minds and fit personalities

As long as we're not talking about food he's very open minded

Transcripts

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