Jay & His Wife Radhi ON: The BIGGEST LIE About Love & 3 Things To Look For In A Partner

On Purpose Podcast
13 Feb 202367:41
EducationalLearning
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TLDRIn this heartfelt podcast episode of 'On Purpose' with Jay Shetty, Jay and his wife, Radhi Devluk, share insights into their relationship journey over the last decade. They discuss the importance of personal growth, maintaining authenticity, and the challenges of balancing busy lives. The couple emphasizes the value of teaching self-healing in love, navigating changes together, and the significance of being present. They also explore the concept of relationships as a journey of learning and growth, rather than just entertainment, highlighting the need for deep connections and shared experiences.

Takeaways
  • πŸ’‘ The importance of teaching people to heal themselves rather than constantly fixing them, which fosters independence and self-love.
  • πŸŽ™οΈ Jay Shetty's acknowledgment of his wife, Radhi Devluk, as a significant influence and support system in his life.
  • πŸ“š The value of consistency and integrity in a relationship, where being true to oneself from the beginning is highly appreciated.
  • 🀣 The significance of humor and being able to be oneself without judgment in a relationship, allowing for genuine connection.
  • 🌟 The appreciation of personal growth and self-discovery within a relationship, and how it can strengthen the bond between partners.
  • πŸ”„ The impact of change on relationships, including the challenges and growth opportunities presented by moving and adapting to new environments.
  • πŸ‘« The dynamic roles of 'parent', 'partner', and 'child' within a relationship, and how they can shift depending on the situation.
  • πŸ‹οΈβ€β™€οΈ The role of a partner in encouraging health and well-being, including the support provided in adopting a healthier lifestyle.
  • 🀝 The concept of a partner as a 'guru' in the relationship, guiding and supporting personal growth and development.
  • πŸ’• The idea that love is not about dependency but about empowering each other to be the best versions of themselves.
Q & A
  • What is the main theme of the podcast 'On Purpose with Jay Shetty'?

    -The main theme of the podcast is to help listeners become happier, healthier, and more healed by discussing various topics related to health, wellness, and personal growth.

  • How does Jay Shetty describe the concept of love in the context of relationships?

    -Jay Shetty describes love as making someone fall more in love with themselves rather than being dependent on you, emphasizing the importance of teaching people how to heal themselves.

  • What is the significance of the Grove Hotel to Jay Shetty and his wife, Radhi Devluk?

    -The Grove Hotel is significant to Jay Shetty and Radhi as it is a place they visited frequently during their early dating days for walks, tea, and hanging out, making it a special location for them.

  • How does Jay Shetty view the role of a partner in a relationship?

    -Jay Shetty views a partner as a guide and supporter who helps in personal growth and self-discovery, rather than someone who fixes the other person or makes them feel broken.

  • What is the importance of authenticity according to Jay Shetty?

    -Authenticity is important as it allows a person to give love constantly and live in alignment with their values, which in turn helps in maintaining a healthy and genuine relationship.

  • How has Radhi Devluk's perspective on change evolved over the years?

    -Radhi's perspective on change has evolved from being scared of it to embracing it as a form of freedom, realizing that living without expectations and adapting to the flow of life is a healthier approach.

  • What is the role of a 'guru' in the context of a relationship as per Jay Shetty's views?

    -In Jay Shetty's view, a 'guru' in a relationship is someone who helps the other person grow and find their purpose, guiding them through their journey rather than just being a source of entertainment or fixing their problems.

  • What are the key qualities that Jay Shetty and Radhi Devluk appreciate in each other?

    -Jay appreciates Radhi's consistency, integrity, and the ability to make people feel comfortable being themselves. Radhi appreciates Jay's humor, positivity, and the courage to embrace change and self-discovery.

  • How do Jay Shetty and Radhi Devluk handle conflicts in their relationship?

    -They handle conflicts by understanding each other's needs during argumentsβ€”Jay prefers to vent and resolve quickly, while Radhi needs time to process before discussing, leading to a mutual understanding and respect for each other's processing styles.

  • What is the significance of the 'Eight Rules of Love' mentioned in the script?

    -The 'Eight Rules of Love' is a book by Jay Shetty that discusses frameworks and insights on love and relationships, aiming to help people manage and improve their romantic connections.

  • How do Jay Shetty and Radhi Devluk approach the concept of perfection in their relationship?

    -They approach the concept of perfection by acknowledging that there is no perfect relationship and that it is important to share the ups and downs to portray a realistic image of partnership, focusing on growth and learning from each other.

Outlines
00:00
πŸŽ™οΈ Podcast Introduction and Guest Welcome

The transcript begins with the host, Jay Shetty, introducing his podcast 'On Purpose' as the number one Health and Wellness podcast. He warmly welcomes back his guest, his wife, Radhi Devluk, who is notoriously difficult to schedule due to her busy schedule. They discuss the significance of their meeting place, the Grove Hotel, which holds sentimental value from the early days of their relationship. Jay also teases the topics they will explore, including their personal growth, relationship dynamics, and the challenges they've faced over the years.

05:01
πŸ’ž Love, Growth, and Consistency in Relationships

In this paragraph, Jay and Radhi delve into the qualities they admire in each other and how their love has evolved. They discuss the importance of integrity, being authentic, and the journey of self-discovery. Radhi appreciates Jay's unwavering support and his ability to make her feel valued for who she is, not just for his achievements. Jay, in turn, admires Radhi's humor, positivity, and her journey towards self-awareness. They reflect on the challenges they've overcome and how their relationship has grown stronger through these experiences.

10:01
🌍 Navigating Life's Changes and Relationship Dynamics

The couple talks about the significant life changes they've experienced, including moving countries and homes, and how these events have impacted their relationship. They discuss the importance of not being codependent and maintaining a sense of individuality while supporting each other. Jay acknowledges Radhi's tolerance and maturity in dealing with his busy schedule, while Radhi shares her newfound perspective on embracing change and living without expectations.

15:02
🀝 The Roles of Parent, Partner, and Child in Relationships

Jay and Radhi explore the concept of relationship roles as introduced in Jay's book 'Eight Rules of Love'. They discuss how they play the roles of parent, partner, and child in their relationship, using examples from their life. They share insights on how these roles can create a balanced and nurturing relationship dynamic, where they guide and support each other through various life stages and situations.

20:04
😑 Dealing with Annoyance in Relationships

The conversation turns to how the couple handles moments of annoyance within their relationship. They candidly share their experiences and strategies for dealing with irritation, including the importance of communication and understanding each other's needs. Jay admits to wanting to resolve conflicts quickly, while Radhi sometimes wishes for a more drawn-out discussion to fully express her feelings.

25:05
πŸŽ‰ Celebrating Success and the Role of a Partner as a Guru

The couple discusses the importance of celebrating each other's successes and the role of a partner as a guru in one's life. They emphasize the value of recognizing and appreciating the hard work behind achievements. Jay reflects on how Radhi's unwavering love for him as a person, not for his accomplishments, has been a guiding force in his life, teaching him to value himself for who he is.

30:05
πŸ’¬ Communication and the Pursuit of Perfection

In this section, the couple talks about communication styles during conflicts and the struggle with the perception of perfection. They share how they've learned to understand each other's needs during arguments and the importance of not portraying a perfect image of their relationship. They discuss the pressure of maintaining a perfect facade and the desire to be authentic instead.

35:07
🌿 Spiritual Growth and the Definition of Perfection

The conversation delves into the topic of spiritual growth and how it has shaped their views on happiness and perfection. They share their personal journeys towards understanding what true happiness means to them, emphasizing the importance of spiritual fulfillment over material success. The couple discusses the societal pressures to conform to certain ideals of perfection and the freedom they've found in defining their own version of a perfect life.

40:08
🀝 The Importance of Genuine Relationships

The couple reflects on the value of building genuine, deep relationships in their lives. They discuss the effort required to cultivate meaningful connections and the importance of investing time and energy into these relationships. Jay emphasizes the significance of having a partner who can guide and support him, while Radhi expresses her excitement to learn more about deepening connections through Jay's teachings.

45:10
πŸ’• Prioritizing Quality Time and Romance in Relationships

In this paragraph, the couple discusses the importance of quality time over quantity in relationships. They share their views on traditional date nights and express a preference for shared experiences that foster connection and growth. The couple emphasizes the need for activities that promote communication, learning, and bonding, rather than passive activities that may not deepen the relationship.

50:11
πŸ”„ Adapting to Change and Rediscovering Relationship Priorities

The couple talks about how their priorities in relationships have evolved over time. They reflect on the importance of adapting to change and redefining what they value in a partner. Jay and Radhi share their thoughts on the fluid nature of relationships and the need to be open to growth and discovery, rather than adhering strictly to a predetermined list of criteria.

55:12
πŸ“ž The Importance of Communication in Long-Distance Relationships

The couple discusses the challenges they faced when they were physically apart and the importance of daily communication. They share the lessons they learned about the need for regular check-ins and quality time to maintain a strong connection. Jay and Radhi emphasize the importance of having tools to navigate distance and the value of being proactive in nurturing their relationship.

00:12
🎯 Setting Relationship Goals and Priorities for the Year

In the final paragraph, Jay and Radhi talk about their goals and priorities for their relationship in the upcoming year. They express a desire to invest more in their relationship through quality time, travel, and shared experiences. The couple discusses the importance of having a purpose together and the steps they plan to take to ensure their relationship continues to grow and thrive.

Mindmap
Keywords
πŸ’‘Integrity
Integrity refers to the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. In the context of the video, it is highlighted as a key aspect of the speaker's partner, where their on-camera persona aligns with who they are off-camera. This consistency is praised as it allows for authentic living and giving of love without pretense.
πŸ’‘Authenticity
Authenticity is the state of being genuine and not false or copied. The video emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself in a relationship, as it enables a deeper connection and trust. The speaker appreciates their partner's authenticity, which is exemplified by their consistent behavior and values, regardless of the situation.
πŸ’‘Healing
Healing, in this video, refers to the process of recovering from emotional or psychological harm. The speaker suggests that teaching someone to heal themselves is more beneficial than constantly 'fixing' them, as it promotes self-reliance and personal growth. This concept is tied to the idea of loving someone in a way that enhances their self-love.
πŸ’‘Consistency
Consistency here pertains to the uniformity or steadiness in behavior or character over time. The script mentions the partner's consistency as a positive trait that has remained unchanged since the beginning of the relationship. This trait is valued as it provides a sense of reliability and trust.
πŸ’‘Growth
Growth in the video is associated with personal development and self-improvement. The speakers discuss how they have evolved and learned about themselves over the years, particularly the partner who has become more confident and self-assured. This growth is seen as a crucial part of their journey together.
πŸ’‘Relationship Dynamics
Relationship dynamics refer to the patterns of interaction and behavior between individuals in a relationship. The video delves into the various roles people can play in a relationship, such as parent, partner, or child, and how these roles can shift based on the situation. Understanding these dynamics is essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship.
πŸ’‘Communication
Communication is the act of sharing or exchanging information, ideas, or feelings. The script highlights the importance of open and honest communication in resolving conflicts and maintaining a strong connection. The speakers discuss their different communication styles during disagreements and how understanding each other's needs has strengthened their bond.
πŸ’‘Support
Support in this context means providing assistance or encouragement to one's partner. The video script mentions the importance of being in each other's corner, offering emotional backing, and understanding during challenging times. This support is depicted as a cornerstone of their relationship's resilience.
πŸ’‘Annoyance
Annoyance is a feeling of irritation or slight anger. The speakers candidly discuss moments when they found each other annoying, using it as a springboard to talk about conflict resolution and the importance of accepting each other's quirks. It shows that even in a strong relationship, there can be moments of frustration that need to be addressed.
πŸ’‘Self-reflection
Self-reflection involves looking inward to understand one's own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The video encourages self-reflection as a means to improve and grow, both as individuals and as a couple. It is portrayed as a vital process for personal development and for nurturing a healthy relationship.
πŸ’‘Celebration
Celebration in the video is the act of acknowledging and appreciating achievements and efforts. The speakers discuss the importance of celebrating each other's successes not just for the outcome but for the hard work and journey that led to it. This act of celebration is seen as a way of showing love and validation.
πŸ’‘Prioritization
Prioritization is the process of deciding the importance of tasks or activities and arranging them in order of priority. In the context of the video, it refers to how the couple decides to make their relationship a priority amidst their individual pursuits and busy lives. This includes setting aside quality time andθΏ›θ‘Œζ£€ζŸ₯ins to ensure the relationship remains strong.
πŸ’‘Spiritual Growth
Spiritual growth refers to personal development in terms of spiritual or religious beliefs and practices. One of the speakers mentions seeking a partner with whom they could grow spiritually, indicating a desire for a shared exploration of spiritual matters and a deepening of their spiritual life together.
πŸ’‘Quality Time
Quality time is dedicated time spent with another person, during which you give them your full attention and engage in meaningful activities. The video emphasizes the importance of quality over quantity when it comes to spending time together, suggesting that even brief periods of focused interaction can be more valuable than longer periods of distraction.
πŸ’‘Check-ins
Check-ins are regular communication moments to share updates, feelings, or thoughts with each other. The script highlights the importance of daily check-ins, especially when the couple is apart, as a way to maintain connection and understanding of each other's needs and experiences.
πŸ’‘Independence
Independence in a relationship refers to the ability of each partner to maintain their individuality and self-sufficiency. The speakers acknowledge their independent nature, which allows them to trust each other even when apart. However, they also recognize the need to balance this independence with the nurturing of their shared relationship.
πŸ’‘Purpose
Purpose in the video script refers to the individual goals, ambitions, and life missions of each partner. It also includes the shared purpose that the couple has together. The speakers discuss the importance of supporting each other's individual purposes while also cultivating a joint purpose in their relationship.
πŸ’‘Traveling Together
Traveling together is highlighted as a way for the couple to spend quality time and create shared experiences. It is seen as an opportunity to deepen their connection and invest in their relationship, especially when they have been apart due to other commitments.
πŸ’‘Scheduling
Scheduling is the act of arranging or planning events or activities in advance. The script mentions the importance of learning to schedule quality time effectively, even amidst a busy lifestyle, to ensure that the relationship remains a priority and that the couple continues to grow together.
Highlights

The importance of teaching people to heal themselves rather than constantly fixing them in a relationship.

Loving someone means making them fall more in love with themselves, not just with you.

Jay Shetty discusses the challenges of booking guests for his top Health and Wellness podcast, 'On Purpose'.

Ravi Devluk's return to the podcast after two years and the significance of their conversation.

The Grove Hotel's sentimental value as a place where Jay and Ravi used to spend time together in the early days of their relationship.

The dynamic of answering surprise questions on the podcast to ensure authenticity and rawness in their discussion.

Insights on how consistency and integrity in a relationship contribute to its strength and longevity.

The journey of self-discovery and the evolution of Ravi's confidence over the years.

How the couple navigates changes and stressors in their relationship, such as moving countries and jobs.

The concept of not being codependent in a relationship and the importance of personal growth.

The impact of living day-to-day without expectations, embracing change, and finding freedom in it.

The role of a partner as a guide rather than a fixer in helping each other navigate life's challenges.

The idea of loving someone in a way that makes them fall more in love with themselves, not just with you.

Jay's perspective on sharing aspects of their relationship and life publicly and its implications.

Ravi's thoughts on the pressure of perfection and the importance of authenticity in relationships.

The discussion on the different roles partners can play in a relationship, such as parent, partner, and child.

The value of teaching people to heal themselves and the impact it has on the dependency in a relationship.

The couple's approach to dealing with annoyances in their relationship and maintaining a healthy dynamic.

Jay's reflections on the importance of sharing and celebrating each other's successes genuinely.

The concept of a partner being a 'guru' in the relationship, guiding and supporting personal growth.

The shift in perspective from valuing time quantity to time quality in relationships.

The evolution of Jay and Ravi's relationship goals and priorities for the year 2023.

Transcripts
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