LOVE EXPERT ON: When A Man TRULY LOVES You, He Will DO THIS! | Stephan Speaks & Jay Shetty

On Purpose Podcast

27 Mar 202367:36

EducationalLearning

32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn a profound conversation with Jay Shetty, bestselling author and host of the #1 Health and Wellness podcast 'On Purpose,' Stefan discusses the intricacies of love, heartbreak, and self-discovery. He challenges listeners to reflect on their true motivations in relationships, the importance of self-love, and the differentiation between infatuation and genuine connection. Stefan emphasizes the significance of compatibility, communication, and personal growth, urging individuals to confront their fears and past traumas for healthier relationships. Through insightful examples and personal anecdotes, Stefan provides valuable advice on recognizing when to hold on and when to let go, ultimately guiding listeners towards healing and finding authentic love.

Takeaways

💔 Understanding the real reasons behind staying in a relationship or holding on after a breakup is crucial for personal growth.
💖 True love should be mutual and bidirectional; infatuation and attachment can often be mistaken for love.
🔍 Self-reflection is necessary to discern whether a relationship is based on genuine love or other motivations.
💌 Communication is key in relationships; lack of willingness to communicate is a sign that it might be time to move on.
🌱 Personal growth and healing from past traumas are essential before entering a relationship for a healthy and fulfilling connection.
🔥 Chemistry can be superficial and may not indicate a deep, lasting connection or compatibility.
💞 Compatibility in a relationship involves coexisting in harmony, which requires understanding, adaptability, and shared life goals.
🚫 Presenting an inauthentic version of oneself in a relationship can lead to long-term issues and misunderstandings.
🌟 Recognizing the difference between connection and chemistry is vital to avoid mistaking fleeting feelings for lasting love.
💬 Having an accountability partner can help maintain objectivity and provide guidance during the healing process after a breakup.

Q & A

What is the first key to knowing if you deeply love someone, according to Jay Shetty?
-The first key is asking yourself if you truly love them, as true love should flow both ways and not be one-sided.
Why does Jay Shetty suggest that people often choose partners based on safety rather than true compatibility?
-People choose partners based on safety because they assume the partner's strong feelings make the relationship a safe and logical choice, even if they are not truly into them, leading to selections that may not fulfill their true needs.
How does Jay Shetty define love in the context of relationships?
-Jay Shetty defines love as encompassing kindness, compassion, patience, understanding, a willingness to be selfless, and being prepared to fulfill the needs of the other person.
Why does Jay Shetty believe most relationships that involve true love are typically hard?
-He believes these relationships are hard not because they must be, but because most people have been hurt or haven't resolved past traumas, making them scared and often mishandling the relationship.
What does Jay Shetty identify as a significant mistake people make when trying to heal from a breakup?
-A significant mistake is trying to heal from the breakup alone instead of addressing and healing from all past traumas and experiences that contribute to their struggle in moving on.
What strategy does Jay Shetty recommend for effectively communicating concerns in a relationship?
-He recommends writing a letter, as it allows for clear expression without the distractions or defensiveness that can arise in verbal communication, making it easier to discuss and address issues.
What does Jay Shetty say about the intuition of women in relationships?
-He believes in women's intuition strongly, suggesting that women often know early when a relationship isn't right for them, but may rationalize reasons to stay, leading to wasted time.
Why does Jay Shetty caution against the advice of not falling in love for men?
-He cautions against this advice because it overlooks the inevitability of falling deeply for someone and instead suggests teaching men how to navigate love while maintaining their masculine energy.
How does Jay Shetty suggest people differentiate between connection and chemistry in relationships?
-He suggests examining if you can be yourself with the other person and whether your paths and purposes align, as true connection goes beyond surface-level chemistry and aligns with deeper understandings and goals.
According to Jay Shetty, what role does healing play in finding a compatible partner?
-Healing is crucial because without addressing and healing from past traumas, individuals are more likely to choose incompatible partners, as unresolved issues cloud their judgment and hinder genuine connection.

Outlines

00:00

💔 Understanding Love and Infatuation

The paragraph discusses the difference between true love and infatuation. It emphasizes the importance of self-honesty in relationships and the need to distinguish whether one's feelings are based on genuine love or just infatuation. The conversation highlights that true love is reciprocal and not one-sided, and it also touches on the common struggles people face in defining love.

05:03

🔥 Differentiating Connection, Chemistry, and Compatibility

This section explores the concepts of connection, chemistry, and compatibility in relationships. It explains how recognizing a deeper connection can happen quickly, but cultivating it requires time and patience. The discussion also differentiates between the initial spark of chemistry and the deeper bond of compatibility, which is essential for a lasting relationship.

10:04

🌟 The Importance of Being True to Oneself

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of authenticity in relationships. It discusses how presenting an idealized version of oneself can lead to unrealistic expectations and potential disappointment. The conversation suggests that being genuine from the start allows for a healthier and more sustainable relationship dynamic.

15:06

💬 Navigating the Complexities of Intuition and Communication

This section delves into the role of intuition and communication in relationships. It highlights the value of listening to one's intuition, especially for women, and the dangers of ignoring red flags. The conversation also stresses the importance of open and honest communication to address issues and build a strong foundation for a relationship.

20:07

🌱 Personal Growth and the Role of Healing in Relationships

The paragraph discusses the significance of personal growth and healing in the context of relationships. It suggests that understanding oneself and addressing past traumas is crucial before entering a relationship. The conversation also touches on the importance of solitude and self-reflection as tools for personal development and healthier relationships.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡True Love

True love in the context of the video refers to a reciprocal, deep, and genuine emotional bond between individuals that transcends mere infatuation or physical attraction. It is highlighted as a mutual feeling where both parties are equally invested and genuinely care for each other beyond surface-level connections. The video emphasizes that true love involves both giving and receiving, suggesting that for a relationship to be meaningful and fulfilling, it must be built on a foundation of mutual love, respect, and understanding.

💡Infatuation

Infatuation is described as a superficial, intense, but short-lived passion or admiration for someone. It contrasts with true love by being more about surface-level attractions or an idealized image of the partner, rather than a deep emotional connection. The script mentions infatuation to clarify that many people confuse this fleeting feeling with love, leading to misguided decisions in relationships.

💡Self-Healing

Self-healing is emphasized as a crucial step towards personal growth and establishing healthier relationships. The video suggests that healing from past traumas and emotional wounds enables individuals to approach relationships with a clear and healthy mindset, avoiding repeating patterns of choosing incompatible partners. It underlines the importance of addressing one's own issues and working on oneself as a prerequisite for forming genuine connections.

💡Compatibility

Compatibility is discussed as the harmony and agreement in desires, values, and goals between partners in a relationship. It's portrayed as a critical element that complements love, ensuring that the relationship can endure and flourish over time. The script points out that compatibility involves more than just surface-level agreements, emphasizing the importance of shared life paths, goals, and mutual understanding in creating a lasting bond.

💡Communication

Communication is presented as the cornerstone of healthy relationships, necessary for resolving conflicts, expressing needs, and maintaining a strong connection between partners. The script advocates for open, honest, and clear communication as a means to ensure both partners are on the same page and can address any issues before they escalate into larger problems.

💡Self-Love

Self-love is identified as the foundation of being able to love others genuinely. The video emphasizes the significance of loving oneself first, as it shapes one's ability to engage in healthy relationships. It suggests that understanding and accepting oneself is key to recognizing and nurturing true love with someone else, highlighting that self-love is not selfish but rather essential for emotional well-being.

💡Attachment

Attachment is referred to as an emotional bond that ties one person to another. However, in the context of the video, unhealthy attachments are differentiated from healthy bonds, pointing out that clinging to someone out of fear, insecurity, or dependency can lead to dysfunctional relationships. It encourages viewers to discern between being genuinely in love and being attached for the wrong reasons.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is described as the willingness to be open about one's feelings, weaknesses, and fears in a relationship. It's presented as a strength rather than a weakness, essential for building trust and intimacy between partners. The video highlights that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is a crucial part of deepening emotional connections and fostering genuine love.

💡Emotional Readiness

Emotional readiness refers to being in a mental and emotional state that is prepared for the complexities and demands of a romantic relationship. The script emphasizes its importance, suggesting that individuals need to resolve their past issues and be emotionally stable to engage in a healthy, loving relationship. It is framed as a prerequisite for both starting a new relationship and for the relationship to be successful and fulfilling.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is underscored as the ability to understand one's own emotions, desires, and values deeply. It is portrayed as essential for recognizing what one truly seeks in a relationship and distinguishing genuine love from other feelings like infatuation. The video advocates for increased self-awareness as a means to make more informed choices about partners and to contribute to healthier, more satisfying relationships.

Highlights

The importance of self-honesty in understanding one's feelings and motivations in a relationship.

The distinction between infatuation and true love, emphasizing the need for love to be mutual and not one-sided.

The role of personal growth and healing from past traumas in fostering healthy relationships.

Defining love as kindness, compassion, patience, understanding, and selflessness.

The necessity of emotional readiness and compatibility in romantic relationships.

The importance of taking time to cultivate love and not rushing into relationships.

Understanding the difference between connection, chemistry, and compatibility in relationships.

The value of communication and transparency in addressing issues within a relationship.

The significance of being true to oneself and not presenting a false image in a relationship.

The concept of recognizing when a relationship is not working and the courage to let go.

The idea of using solitude to understand one's beliefs and values, which are essential for a healthy relationship.

The importance of differentiating between the desire to improve oneself for personal growth and doing so to win someone back.

The impact of societal pressures and the need for education on maintaining healthy relationships.

The advice of not avoiding relationships out of fear of heartbreak, but instead embracing vulnerability and learning from past experiences.

The perspective that breakups can be a blessing in disguise, allowing for personal growth and the potential for healthier future relationships.

Transcripts

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Related Tags

Love Advice Self-Discovery Jay Shetty Relationship Health Emotional Healing Personal Growth Masculine Energy Feminine Energy Heartbreak Recovery Healthy Relationships