Do This When You Don't Feel Chemistry or a Spark With Him | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
TLDRIn this insightful video, Mat Boggs from the Brave Thinking Institute's Love & Relationships Division explores the dynamics of romantic chemistry. He discusses the two scenarios where chemistry either strikes like lightning or develops from a deep friendship. Using the story of Patricia and Bill, he illustrates how initial lack of physical attraction can transform into a passionate connection as one becomes more acquainted with a person's qualities. Boggs offers advice on how to navigate the uncertainty of budding chemistry, suggesting honest communication to explore the potential for a relationship that grows over time.
Takeaways
- π Sometimes, chemistry in a relationship can develop over time rather than being instant.
- π₯ A friendship that catches fire can lead to a strong romantic connection.
- π Itβs easier to feel chemistry with someone who isnβt a good fit because thereβs no threat of a real relationship.
- π¬ Open communication about the lack of immediate chemistry can create space for it to develop.
- π©ββ€οΈβπβπ¨ A great example is Patricia, who initially wasnβt attracted to Bill but grew to appreciate him and felt chemistry later.
- π Highlighting someone's good qualities and being open to possibilities can change initial perceptions.
- β€οΈβπ₯ The 'triangle look' is a flirting technique to signal a desire for a kiss.
- π Honesty about your feelings can prevent leading someone on while allowing time for chemistry to grow.
- π Sharing personal stories and experiences can inspire others in similar situations.
- π€ Asking for audience feedback on strategies to build chemistry helps create an interactive community.
Q & A
Who is Mat Boggs?
-Mat Boggs is the founder of the Love & Relationships Division of the Brave Thinking Institute.
What is the mission of the Brave Thinking Institute?
-The mission of the Brave Thinking Institute is empowering people to create and live a life they love, which includes improving their love life.
What is the main topic discussed in the video?
-The main topic discussed is what to do when you've met someone with great qualities but there is no immediate chemistry.
What are the two scenarios regarding chemistry that Mat Boggs mentions?
-The two scenarios are: massive chemistry right from the start and a friendship that catches fire over time.
Why might it be easier to feel chemistry with someone who is not a good fit for you?
-It might be easier because there is no threat of them actually getting into a relationship with you, so it doesn't challenge your emotional defenses.
What example does Mat Boggs provide to illustrate his point?
-He provides the example of Patricia and Bill, where Patricia initially didn't feel chemistry due to Bill's appearance but eventually developed attraction and chemistry over time.
What advice does Mat Boggs give for women who want to explore chemistry without leading a man on?
-He suggests being honest and vulnerable by saying, 'I really like you and love hanging out with you. I'm not feeling the chemistry I thought Iβd be feeling at this point, but I'm open to exploring to see if the chemistry comes later.'
How did Patricia's feelings towards Bill change over time?
-Patricia's feelings changed as she got to know Bill better, appreciating his kindness and thoughtfulness, which eventually led to her feeling attracted to him.
What is the 'triangle look' mentioned in the video?
-The 'triangle look' is a flirting technique where you look from one eye to the other eye and then down to the person's lips, signaling a desire to kiss.
What question does Mat Boggs ask viewers at the end of the video?
-He asks viewers what strategies they have found helpful for building chemistry over time and encourages them to share their strategies in the comment section.
Outlines
π Exploring Chemistry with Potential Partners
The video script begins by posing a common dating dilemma: meeting someone with great qualities but lacking an immediate spark. Mat Boggs, the founder of the Love & Relationships Division at the Brave Thinking Institute, introduces the topic of whether to pursue a relationship with someone who has all the right attributes except for that initial chemistry. He uses the story of Patricia and Bill to illustrate two scenarios where chemistry can develop: the instant 'lightning bolt' or a friendship that ignites over time. Boggs explains that sometimes, the fear of vulnerability can suppress the chemistry we feel for a suitable partner, but as trust and connection grow, so can attraction. Patricia's email shared her experience of growing attraction to Bill despite initial reservations about his appearance, highlighting how chemistry can develop after the heart is opened to the possibility.
π Navigating the Chemistry Exploration Process
In the second paragraph, the script addresses the concern of how to continue dating someone without misleading them when chemistry hasn't fully developed yet. Mat Boggs provides a suggested conversation starter for expressing vulnerability and openness to exploring chemistry over time. He emphasizes the importance of honesty and communication in this scenario, ensuring that both parties are aware of the current state of the relationship and are willing to give it time to evolve. The script encourages viewers to share their strategies for building chemistry in the comments section and concludes with a positive note on the potential for a fulfilling love life, appreciating the audience for their engagement.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Chemistry
π‘Qualities
π‘Lightning Bolt Chemistry
π‘Friendship That Catches Fire
π‘Paradigm
π‘Vulnerability
π‘Attraction
π‘Flirting Techniques
π‘Connection
π‘Exploring Chemistry
π‘Leading On
Highlights
The discussion focuses on how to handle situations where someone has great qualities but lacks immediate chemistry.
Mat Boggs introduces himself as the founder of the Love & Relationships Division at the Brave Thinking Institute.
The mission of the institute is to empower people to create and live a life they love, including their love life.
The video aims to explore whether to walk away or find another possibility when lacking chemistry with someone.
Two scenarios for chemistry are identified: immediate 'lightning bolt' chemistry or a friendship that catches fire over time.
Patricia's story is shared as an example of how chemistry can develop over time with someone initially lacking it.
Patricia's initial concern about Bill's appearance is overcome as she gets to know him better.
The concept of paradigms suppressing chemistry due to fear of vulnerability in a potential relationship is introduced.
Patricia's email details her journey from seeing Bill as a friend to developing romantic feelings for him.
The 'triangle look' flirting technique is mentioned as a way to signal interest in a kiss.
Bill's public display of affection in a restaurant is highlighted as a turning point in Patricia's feelings.
Patricia's realization that chemistry can follow a connection rather than precede it is emphasized.
A scenario is presented where a woman might not want to lead a man on despite wanting to explore chemistry further.
A suggested phrase for communicating the desire to explore chemistry without leading someone on is provided.
The importance of honesty and vulnerability in discussing the potential for chemistry to develop is stressed.
A call to action is made for viewers to share their strategies for building chemistry over time in the comments.
The video concludes with a positive note on the potential for an amazing love life and appreciation for the viewers.
Transcripts
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