Reading minds through body language | Lynne Franklin | TEDxNaperville

TEDx Talks

19 Dec 201711:58

EducationalLearning

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TLDRLynne Franklin explains how to read people's body language to understand how they think, identifying three primary styles: lookers, listeners, and touchers. She describes how to recognize these styles through physical cues and how to communicate effectively with each type. Using examples and interactive demonstrations, Franklin teaches how to build rapport by aligning your communication style with others' thinking patterns. This approach helps increase persuasion and reduces misunderstandings, making you more effective in personal and professional interactions.

Takeaways

🧠 People's brains process information in three distinct ways, which can be identified through their body language.
👀 'Lookers' make up 75% of the world's population and their brains think in pictures and images, often showing signs like good posture and frequent eye contact.
👂 'Listeners' constitute 20% of the world's population and their brains think in words and sounds, often looking down and to the left when recalling information.
🤲 'Touchers' represent 5% of the world's population and think in feelings and tactilely, often showing a readiness to engage in physical contact and preferring comfort over style in attire.
🤝 To build rapport with 'lookers', use lots of eye contact and visual language, as they equate eye contact with attention.
🗣️ For 'listeners', alternate eye contact and use auditory language like 'That sounds good to me', as constant eye contact can be overwhelming.
💖 With 'touchers', allow physical contact if comfortable, and use feeling or tactile language to resonate with their style of thinking.
🤔 Understanding one's own thinking style can help in adjusting communication to better connect with others.
🔑 Paying attention to body language and the words people use can reveal their thinking style, even in absence of physical presence.
📈 Adapting communication to match the thinking style of others can increase the likelihood of agreement and persuasion.
📚 The script encourages practice in identifying thinking styles and adjusting language to build rapport and become more persuasive.

Q & A

What are the three primary ways people's brains process information according to Lynne Franklin?
-People's brains process information visually, auditorily, and kinesthetically.
How can you identify a 'looker' based on their body language?
-Lookers typically stand up tall, have good posture, are well-dressed, hold stress in their shoulders, have wrinkles in their forehead from looking up often, have thin lips, and give a lot of eye contact.
What should you do to build rapport with a 'looker'?
-Give them lots of eye contact and use language with a visual component, such as 'I see what you mean' or 'Let's picture working together this way.'
What are the characteristics of a 'listener' in terms of body language?
-Listeners often look down and to the left when recalling information, may rest their head in their hand (telephone posture), mumble to themselves, and engage in behaviors like pen clicking or tapping.
How can you effectively communicate with a 'listener'?
-Avoid giving them too much eye contact, look at them and then look away while speaking, and use auditory language such as 'That sounds good to me' or 'Let's talk this over.'
What body language signals are associated with a 'toucher'?
-Touchers often have a tendency to lean in, reach out and touch your arm during conversation, dress for comfort, have full lips, and look down when recalling something they have felt.
How can you build rapport with a 'toucher'?
-If comfortable, allow them to touch you appropriately. Otherwise, offer a handshake or similar gesture. Use language that is feeling-oriented or tactile, such as 'I want to hear how you're feeling about this' or 'Let's get in touch.'
What common mistake did Lynne Franklin make with her corporate controller client?
-She assumed the client was socially inept or looking at her inappropriately because he didn't make eye contact, when in fact his brain processed information differently.
What is the significance of using the appropriate type of language for different people?
-Using the appropriate type of language helps in effectively communicating and building rapport with others, increasing the chances that they will respond positively to your proposals.
How can you identify the dominant style of a person's thinking through their communication?
-By paying attention to the words they use in conversations or written communication: visual language for lookers, auditory words for listeners, and feeling-based words for touchers.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Introduction to Mind Reading through Body Language

Lynne Franklin introduces the concept of understanding how people think through their body language. She explains that people's brains process information in three different ways, and by recognizing these styles, one can increase the chances of getting a 'yes' from others. Franklin shares an anecdote about a misunderstanding with a corporate controller to illustrate the importance of reading body language correctly.

05:03

👀 Identifying Lookers and Building Rapport

Franklin introduces James, who represents 75% of people, called 'lookers.' Lookers think in pictures and images. She describes the physical traits of lookers, such as good posture, dressing well, holding stress in their shoulders, and giving lots of eye contact. Franklin advises giving lookers eye contact and using visual language to build rapport with them.

10:06

👂 Understanding Listeners and Effective Communication

Franklin introduces Marge, who represents 20% of people, called 'listeners.' Listeners think in words and sounds. She highlights their body language, such as looking down and to the left, mumbling to themselves, and using pen-clicking gestures. Franklin recommends not giving listeners too much eye contact and using auditory language to communicate effectively with them.

🤗 Connecting with Touchers through Tactile Language

Franklin introduces Marina, who represents 5% of people, called 'touchers.' Touchers think in feelings and tactilely. Their body language includes being ready to hug, dressing for comfort, leaning in, and touching others. Franklin advises allowing touchers appropriate physical contact and using tactile language to build rapport with them.

💡 Applying Body Language Insights for Better Communication

Franklin encourages the audience to identify their own dominant thinking style by recalling a memory. She explains that most people treat others as if they think the same way they do, which can lead to misunderstandings. Franklin urges the audience to observe others' body language and adapt their communication style accordingly to build rapport and become more persuasive.

📝 Practical Tips for Identifying Thinking Styles Remotely

Franklin explains that it's possible to identify others' thinking styles without being in their presence by listening to or reading their language. She gives examples of how lookers, listeners, and touchers use different types of words. Franklin challenges the audience to review their emails to understand their own communication style and practice these techniques to become more persuasive.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Mind Reader

The concept of being a 'mind reader' refers to understanding and predicting others' thoughts and feelings through observation. In the video, Lynne Franklin introduces this idea by explaining that understanding body language can make you seem like a mind reader. The main theme revolves around decoding how people process information to build better rapport and communication.

💡Body Language

Body language refers to non-verbal cues such as posture, gestures, and facial expressions that communicate a person's feelings and thoughts. The video emphasizes that body language can reveal how someone's brain processes information, thus helping in building rapport and enhancing persuasion.

💡Lookers

Lookers are individuals who process information visually, thinking in pictures and images. In the video, Lynne describes how lookers have certain body language traits, such as standing tall, maintaining good posture, and giving lots of eye contact. Understanding that someone is a looker allows you to communicate more effectively with them by using visual language.

💡Listeners

Listeners are people who process information through words and sounds. Lynne explains that listeners often look down and to the left when recalling information and may mumble to themselves. Knowing someone is a listener helps you tailor your communication using auditory language and reducing direct eye contact.

💡Touchers

Touchers are those who process information through feelings and physical sensations. The video highlights that touchers often seek physical contact, lean in during conversations, and have a tendency to dress for comfort. Communicating with touchers involves using tactile or emotional language and allowing appropriate physical contact.

💡Rapport

Rapport is a relationship characterized by harmony, understanding, and mutual respect. The video focuses on building rapport by aligning your communication style with how the other person processes information. This alignment increases the likelihood of being persuasive and effectively conveying your message.

💡Visual Language

Visual language includes words and phrases that evoke images, such as 'I see what you mean' or 'Look at this.' In the video, Lynne suggests using visual language when communicating with lookers to match their primary information processing style, thereby enhancing understanding and rapport.

💡Auditory Language

Auditory language consists of words and phrases related to sounds and hearing, such as 'That sounds good' or 'Let's talk this over.' The video advises using auditory language when communicating with listeners, as it aligns with their way of processing information, making communication more effective.

💡Kinesthetic Language

Kinesthetic language includes words and phrases related to feelings and physical sensations, such as 'I feel what you're saying' or 'Let's get in touch.' In the video, Lynne recommends using kinesthetic language when interacting with touchers to connect with their tactile way of processing information.

💡Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication encompasses all the ways people convey messages without using words, including body language, facial expressions, and gestures. The video underscores the importance of non-verbal communication in understanding others' thought processes and effectively building rapport.

Highlights

People's brains process information in three different ways, and their body language reveals their primary style.

Understanding how brains work helps present information in a way people can see, hear, and feel, increasing chances of agreement.

Lookers represent 75% of the world and think in pictures and images.

Lookers stand up tall, have good posture, dress well, hold stress in shoulders, have wrinkles in their forehead, and give lots of eye contact.

Listeners represent 20% of the world and think in words and sounds.

Listeners tend to look down and to the left, put their head in their hand, mumble to themselves, and are often pen clickers.

Touchers represent 5% of the world and think in feelings and tactilely.

Touchers dress for comfort, have full lips, lean in, reach out to touch, and look down when remembering something.

To build rapport with lookers, give them lots of eye contact and use visual language.

To build rapport with listeners, limit eye contact and use auditory language.

To build rapport with touchers, allow appropriate physical contact and use tactile or feeling-based language.

Identifying how people remember important memories reveals their primary thinking style.

Treating everyone as if they think the same way can lead to misunderstandings.

Adjusting your language to match others' thinking styles helps build rapport and increase persuasiveness.

You can identify people's thinking styles through their language in emails and phone conversations, not just in person.

Transcripts

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