10 Ways To Be A Better Dad

Order of Man

17 Mar 201605:42

EducationalLearning

32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThis video discusses the challenges and joys of fatherhood, offering ten practical tips for becoming a better father. Key points include recognizing children's uniqueness, eliminating distractions, answering children's core questions, seeking teaching moments, being playful, staying involved, prioritizing the role of a parent over a friend, involving children in personal activities, and instilling the value of hard work. The speaker emphasizes the importance of quality time, engagement, and guiding children to become self-sufficient individuals.

Takeaways

👨‍👧‍👦 Recognize Uniqueness: Acknowledge that every child is different and has unique interests and abilities.
📵 Eliminate Distractions: Reduce reliance on technology and other distractions to focus on quality time with children.
🧐 Be Attentive: Understand that children seek validation and reassurance about their worth and abilities.
👨‍🏫 Seek Teaching Moments: Use discipline as an opportunity for teaching and guidance, not just punishment.
🎭 Embrace Playfulness: It's important to be silly and playful with children to show that life is about enjoyment.
🕵️‍♂️ Be Nosy: Be involved and curious about your child's life outside of your immediate presence.
🏅 Coach and Engage: Get involved in your child's activities to build deeper connections and show support.
👮‍♂️ Prioritize Discipline: Be the figure of authority and discipline, ensuring kids understand the importance of structure.
👪 Include Kids in Your World: Let children participate in your activities to foster a mutual understanding and shared experiences.
🛠 Teach the Value of Hard Work: Instill the belief that success comes from dedication and effort, not entitlement.
🌟 Aim for Success: Strive to be the best version of yourself as a father to help your children achieve their potential.

Q & A

What does the speaker describe as the experience of fatherhood?
-The speaker describes fatherhood as a crazy roller coaster with ups and downs, encompassing joy, sorrow, pain, frustration, and excitement, as well as sleepless nights.
What does the speaker suggest is the primary goal for fathers in relation to their children?
-The speaker suggests that the primary goal for fathers is to help their children have more, do more, and be more by being the best version of themselves as fathers.
Why is it important for fathers to recognize their children's uniqueness?
-It is important for fathers to recognize their children's uniqueness because every child is different and will have different interests and responses, and it allows them to explore their individuality.
What distractions does the speaker mention that can prevent fathers from connecting with their children?
-The speaker mentions cell phones and technology as distractions that can prevent fathers from connecting with and relating to their children.
According to the speaker, what fundamental questions are children trying to answer about themselves?
-According to the speaker, little boys are trying to answer if they are enough and if they have what it takes, while little girls are trying to answer if they are lovely.
What role does the speaker suggest fathers should take on when their children step out of line?
-The speaker suggests that fathers should take on the role of a coach, mentor, and guide, using teaching opportunities to help their children navigate the path to success.
Why is it suggested that fathers should sometimes be silly or goofy with their children?
-It is suggested that fathers should sometimes be silly or goofy with their children to show that life is about enjoyment and to create a relaxed and fun atmosphere for bonding.
What does the speaker advise fathers to do regarding their children's activities outside the home?
-The speaker advises fathers to be nosy, ask questions, get engaged, and get involved in their children's lives to understand what is happening and to show they care.
Why is it important for fathers to consider coaching their children's teams or getting involved in their extracurricular activities?
-It is important for fathers to consider coaching or getting involved in their children's activities to connect on a deeper level, demonstrate values and responses to team situations, and to show the children that they are important.
What principle should guide the relationship between a father and his children according to the speaker?
-According to the speaker, the principle of being 'dad first, friend second' should guide the relationship, emphasizing the importance of discipline and structure over being perceived as a friend.
What is the most important tip the speaker shares for fathers to instill in their children?
-The most important tip the speaker shares is to teach children the value of hard work, emphasizing that what one deserves is what they have worked hard for and earned.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍👧‍👦 Embracing the Unique Journey of Fatherhood

The speaker emphasizes the complex and multifaceted experience of fatherhood, akin to a roller coaster with its highs and lows. He stresses the importance of recognizing and accepting the individuality of each child, as well as the need for fathers to be the best versions of themselves. The speaker also highlights the significance of eliminating distractions, such as technology, to foster a deeper connection with children. He references the book 'Wild at Heart' by John Eldridge, discussing the fundamental questions children seek to answer about their worth and lovability, and the role of fathers in affirming these. Additionally, the speaker suggests that fathers should look for teaching moments rather than focusing solely on discipline, and the importance of being present and engaged in their children's lives, including being involved in their activities and extracurricular interests.

05:01

🥇 Achieving Success as a Father Through Involvement and Discipline

In the second paragraph, the speaker continues the discussion on fatherhood by advocating for active involvement in children's lives, suggesting that fathers should not only participate in their children's activities but also invite them to be part of their own. He emphasizes the importance of discipline and structure, arguing against the idea of being 'friend first, dad second,' and instead promotes the notion of being a guiding figure who instills self-sufficiency and resilience in children. The speaker also underscores the value of hard work, aiming to counteract societal entitlement by teaching children that they must earn what they desire through dedication and commitment. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for fathers to be successful by adhering to these principles and being present in their children's lives, ensuring they are equipped to handle life's challenges.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Fatherhood

Fatherhood refers to the role and responsibilities of a father in the upbringing of his children. It is central to the video's theme, illustrating the emotional journey and challenges that fathers face. The script describes fatherhood as a 'crazy roller coaster,' encompassing a range of experiences from joy to frustration.

💡Uniqueness

Uniqueness in this context highlights the individuality of each child. The speaker emphasizes that children have their own interests and ways of responding to the world, which is different from their fathers. This concept is crucial as it encourages fathers to support their children's individuality and exploration of their own identities.

💡Distraction

Distraction is portrayed as an obstacle that prevents fathers from fully engaging with their children. The script specifically mentions technology, such as cell phones, as a common source of distraction. The message is to eliminate these to focus on quality time with children.

💡Teaching Moments

Teaching moments are opportunities for fathers to guide and mentor their children, rather than just disciplining them. The script suggests that instead of punishment, fathers should use situations where children step out of line as a chance to teach them about life and success.

💡Silliness

Silliness is encouraged as a way for fathers to connect with their children on a playful level. The video emphasizes the importance of not always being serious and allowing for fun and laughter in the parent-child relationship, which helps children understand that life is about enjoyment.

💡Nosy

In the context of the video, being 'nosy' is redefined as a positive trait for fathers, meaning they should be interested and involved in their children's lives outside of their immediate presence. It suggests asking questions and getting engaged to show care and concern for their children's experiences.

💡Coaching

Coaching is presented as a way for fathers to be actively involved in their children's activities, providing a deeper connection and an opportunity to demonstrate values and responses to team situations. It is a form of engagement that goes beyond being a passive observer.

💡Discipline

Discipline is highlighted as a necessary component of fatherhood, with the speaker advocating for being a 'dad first, friend second.' It is about setting boundaries and expectations to help children become self-sufficient and capable of handling life's challenges.

💡Involvement

Involvement is the act of participating in children's activities and interests. The script encourages fathers to not only be involved in their children's lives but also to allow children to be involved in their activities, fostering a mutual understanding and shared experiences.

💡Hard Work

Hard work is emphasized as a core value that fathers should teach their children. The video argues against the notion of entitlement and instead promotes the idea that what one deserves is earned through dedication and effort, instilling a strong work ethic in children.

💡Self-sufficiency

Self-sufficiency is the ultimate goal for children as described in the script, where the purpose of parenting is to prepare children to handle life independently. It is tied to the concept of discipline and hard work, aiming to equip children with the skills to thrive on their own.

Highlights

Fatherhood is likened to a roller coaster with various emotions and experiences.

The importance of striving to be the best version of ourselves as fathers.

Recognizing and respecting the unique individuality of each child.

Eliminating distractions, especially technology, to connect with children.

Answering fundamental questions children have about their worth and identity.

The significance of teaching moments over punishment.

The role of fathers as coaches, mentors, and guides.

The value of being silly and playful with children.

Being 'nosy' to understand and be involved in children's lives.

Coaching or participating in children's extracurricular activities to deepen connections.

Prioritizing the role of a father over being a friend to children.

Involving children in a father's activities to maintain engagement.

Teaching children the value of hard work and earning what they deserve.

The ultimate goal of parenting is to raise self-sufficient children capable of handling life's challenges.

The success of fatherhood lies in following these principles to help children achieve more.

Transcripts

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10 Ways To Be A Better Dad

Takeaways

Q & A

What does the speaker describe as the experience of fatherhood?

What does the speaker suggest is the primary goal for fathers in relation to their children?

Why is it important for fathers to recognize their children's uniqueness?

What distractions does the speaker mention that can prevent fathers from connecting with their children?

According to the speaker, what fundamental questions are children trying to answer about themselves?

What role does the speaker suggest fathers should take on when their children step out of line?

Why is it suggested that fathers should sometimes be silly or goofy with their children?

What does the speaker advise fathers to do regarding their children's activities outside the home?

Why is it important for fathers to consider coaching their children's teams or getting involved in their extracurricular activities?

What principle should guide the relationship between a father and his children according to the speaker?

What is the most important tip the speaker shares for fathers to instill in their children?