My Brain Works Differently: Autism And Addiction | Dylan Dailor | TEDxNorthAdams

TEDx Talks
22 Mar 201816:29
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn this candid talk, the speaker reflects on their life's journey, marked by anxiety and the pursuit of normalcy. Born on the autism spectrum, they share experiences of school transitions, coping with mental health, and the realization of their addiction to substances as a means to find happiness. The speaker emphasizes the struggle with societal expectations of 'normal' and encourages embracing one's uniqueness, advocating for authenticity over societal norms.

Takeaways
  • πŸŽ™οΈ The speaker discusses the challenge of creating a surprising talk and the personal journey that led to their current state of anxiety.
  • 🌟 The speaker was born on October 27, 1999, and has been on the autism spectrum since birth, which has significantly influenced their life experiences.
  • 🏫 The speaker has had a history of changing schools frequently, which has been a pattern of coping with anxiety and discomfort in social settings.
  • 🚫 The speaker's strict self-imposed rules, such as limiting screen time, were disrupted by external events like a trip to Disney and subsequent health issues.
  • πŸ’» The speaker found solace in using their computer, which became a coping mechanism for anxiety, but also led to an unhealthy reliance on technology.
  • πŸ§‘β€βš•οΈ A counselor and therapist played a pivotal role in the speaker's life, advising them to leave a detrimental school environment for their mental health.
  • πŸ“š The speaker's experience with online schooling highlighted the isolation and constant screen time, which was initially a relief but later became overwhelming.
  • 🦷 The speaker's wisdom teeth removal and subsequent reaction to anesthesia unveiled a deeper issue with dependency and the pursuit of happiness through substances.
  • πŸŽ‚ On their birthday, the speaker had a moment of clarity about their dependency issues, leading to a realization of needing help and the fear of addiction.
  • πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ The speaker grapples with the concept of 'normal' and the pressure to conform, ultimately advocating for embracing one's uniqueness and being 'weird'.
  • 🌈 The speaker concludes with a message to embrace individuality and the idea that striving for a societal definition of 'normal' is unhelpful and can be harmful.
Q & A
  • What is the speaker's main theme in their talk?

    -The speaker's main theme revolves around their experiences with anxiety, being on the autism spectrum, and their struggle with addiction and self-acceptance.

  • How does the speaker describe their early school experiences?

    -The speaker describes their early school experiences as challenging, noting that they often switched schools and felt out of place due to their advanced abilities and social difficulties.

  • What significant event happened on October 27, 1999, according to the speaker?

    -October 27, 1999, is the speaker's birth date. They mention this as the last moment they felt not anxious and highlight it as the beginning of their life on the autism spectrum.

  • How did the speaker cope with anxiety during their childhood?

    -The speaker coped with anxiety by using their computer and engaging in activities that made them feel better, although they later realized that these coping mechanisms weren't entirely healthy.

  • What revelation did the speaker have about their addiction?

    -The speaker realized they were addicted to substances and constantly needed something to calm themselves down. This admission was both frightening and liberating for them.

  • Why did the speaker switch to online schooling?

    -The speaker switched to online schooling because their mental health had deteriorated significantly in traditional school environments, and online schooling provided a less stressful alternative.

  • How did the speaker's experience with fentanyl affect them?

    -The speaker had a positive initial reaction to fentanyl after a medical procedure, which led to a temporary sense of happiness. However, this was followed by a difficult period of withdrawal and further anxiety.

  • What does the speaker identify as the root of their need to achieve?

    -The speaker identifies their need to achieve as a way to seek validation and approval from others, especially trying to make up for past experiences where they felt mistreated or misunderstood.

  • What is the speaker's view on the concept of 'normal'?

    -The speaker believes that striving to be 'normal' is detrimental because it is unattainable and discourages individuality. They advocate for embracing one's unique differences instead.

  • How does the speaker suggest people should approach their uniqueness?

    -The speaker encourages people to embrace their weirdness and differences, emphasizing that everyone's brain works differently and that it's better to be authentic rather than trying to conform to a standard of 'normal.'

  • What challenges did the speaker face in social interactions at college?

    -At college, the speaker faced challenges in social interactions due to their adherence to rules and difficulty understanding the social behaviors of others, which made it hard for them to participate in typical college activities.

  • How does the speaker feel about their accomplishments, such as giving TED talks and writing a book?

    -The speaker feels that their accomplishments, like giving TED talks and writing a book, do not necessarily make them happy or help others to like them. They express that these achievements do not fulfill their deeper need for acceptance and connection.

Outlines
00:00
πŸŽ“ Early Life and School Challenges

The speaker reflects on their early life, noting their birth on October 27, 1999, and the onset of anxiety from that day forward. They mention being on the autism spectrum from birth, which was later diagnosed at age 8. The narrative includes their educational journey, marked by frequent school changes due to social struggles and anxiety. The speaker also discusses their coping mechanisms, such as using a computer to alleviate anxiety, and the challenges of adjusting to new environments and peers.

05:01
πŸ“š Academic Struggles and Self-Discovery

In this paragraph, the speaker delves into their academic experiences, highlighting the stress of switching schools and the pattern of staying at each school for a maximum of five years. They recount a particularly difficult period after a trip to Disney, where a gluten reaction led to increased computer use as a coping mechanism. The speaker also touches on their time at an all-boys school, the challenges of online schooling, and the realization that their reliance on screens and medication was not a healthy way to manage anxiety.

10:02
πŸ’Š The Impact of Medication and College Life

The speaker shares their experience with medication, specifically fentanyl, which initially made them feel happy but later led to a negative reaction and a month-long struggle with prescription medication. They discuss the realization that they were using substances to distract from their problems rather than addressing them. The transition to college is also described, with the speaker noting the contrast between their own structured life and the newfound freedom of their peers, leading to further self-reflection and the eventual acknowledgment of their addiction.

15:02
πŸ€” The Search for Acceptance and Identity

In the final paragraph, the speaker grapples with the concept of 'normal' and the pressures to conform to societal expectations. They express a desire for people from their past to have treated them better and the futility of seeking external validation through achievements. The speaker also discusses the disconnect they feel with others due to their autism and the challenges of social interaction. The paragraph concludes with a call to embrace one's uniqueness and to reject the idea of 'normal,' encouraging others to 'just be weird' and accept their individuality.

Mindmap
Keywords
πŸ’‘Anxiety
Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry, or fear. In the video, the speaker describes their personal experience with anxiety, which began at a young age and has been a recurring theme throughout their life. The term is used to illustrate the emotional struggles they face and how it has influenced their actions and decisions, such as their reliance on computers and medication to cope with their feelings.
πŸ’‘Spectrum
The term 'spectrum' in this context refers to the autism spectrum, a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech, and nonverbal communication. The speaker mentions being on the spectrum since birth, indicating that their autism is an intrinsic part of their identity and has shaped their experiences and interactions with the world.
πŸ’‘School Switching
School switching refers to the act of changing educational institutions. The speaker discusses their history of switching schools multiple times, which was often due to feeling uncomfortable or not fitting in. This concept is central to the narrative as it highlights the challenges they faced in adapting to new environments and the impact it had on their mental health.
πŸ’‘Gluten-Free
Being gluten-free means avoiding the protein gluten, which is found in wheat and some other grains. The speaker mentions being gluten-free and having a reaction after accidentally consuming gluten. This dietary preference is part of their personal health journey and is an example of the individual needs and restrictions they navigate in their daily life.
πŸ’‘Mental Health
Mental health refers to a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. The video's speaker discusses their deteriorating mental health, particularly in relation to their experiences with anxiety and the pressures of school. It is a key theme as it underscores the importance of addressing and managing one's mental health, especially in the context of challenging life events.
πŸ’‘Online Schooling
Online schooling is a form of education that takes place over the internet rather than in a physical classroom. The speaker talks about attending an online school, which provided a different learning environment and routine. This concept is relevant as it shows an alternative approach to education that the speaker used to cope with their mental health challenges.
πŸ’‘Addiction
Addiction is a condition in which a person engages in behaviors or substance use despite harmful consequences. The speaker reveals their struggle with addiction, particularly with prescription medication, which they initially used to manage anxiety. The concept of addiction is a critical part of the narrative, illustrating the complex relationship between coping mechanisms and dependency.
πŸ’‘College
College refers to an institution of higher learning that grants degrees. The speaker discusses their transition to college, which presented new challenges and opportunities. College is a significant setting in the video as it represents a new phase in the speaker's life where they had to navigate social dynamics and personal growth in a more independent environment.
πŸ’‘Self-Medication
Self-medication is the practice of taking medication without a doctor's supervision to treat a condition or alleviate symptoms. The speaker mentions using their computer and medication as forms of self-medication to deal with their anxiety. This concept is important as it highlights the speaker's attempts to self-manage their mental health without always seeking professional help.
πŸ’‘Achievement
Achievement refers to the accomplishment of a goal or task. The speaker reflects on their various achievements, such as giving TED talks and writing a book, and questions whether these accomplishments bring them happiness or acceptance. Achievement is a recurring theme that explores the relationship between external success and internal well-being.
πŸ’‘Normal
The concept of 'normal' refers to a standard, typical, or expected state or condition. The speaker challenges the idea of normalcy, suggesting that striving for it is unhelpful and that embracing one's unique qualities is more beneficial. The term 'normal' is used to convey the message that societal expectations can be limiting and that individuality should be celebrated.
Highlights

The speaker reflects on the challenge of ensuring every statement in their talk is a surprise, acknowledging the difficulty of the task.

The speaker's title reveals a lot about them, hinting at the personal journey and insights to be shared.

A personal connection to the date October 27, 1999, as the last day of non-anxiety and the first day of being on the autism spectrum.

The speaker's experience of being ahead of classmates academically but facing social challenges and school changes.

The pattern of switching schools due to social difficulties and the impact on the speaker's anxiety levels.

A pivotal moment during a Disney trip where the speaker's strict self-imposed rules around screen time were broken.

The struggle with anxiety medication and the transition to an all-boys school that exacerbated the speaker's mental health issues.

The counselor's intervention that forced the speaker to leave their school and the subsequent realization of the need for change.

The transition to online school and the constant engagement with screens, blurring the lines between normalcy and overuse.

The speaker's realization of the unhealthy coping mechanisms through screen time and the need to address the underlying issues.

The experience of undergoing wisdom teeth extraction and the subsequent reaction to anesthesia that led to a deeper self-awareness.

The speaker's admission of addiction and the fear of needing something to calm themselves down, a significant personal revelation.

The decision to open up about personal struggles with addiction and mental health, despite the fear and vulnerability involved.

The speaker's struggle with the concept of 'normal' and the desire to be accepted for being different or 'weird'.

A call to embrace individuality and reject the societal pressure to conform to a standard of 'normal'.

The speaker's reflections on the disconnect between their achievements and personal happiness, questioning the value of societal recognition.

The final message encouraging the audience to accept and celebrate their unique identities, rather than striving for an unattainable 'normal'.

Transcripts
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