How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful: The Harvard Business Review Guide

Harvard Business Review
26 Oct 202107:16
EducationalLearning
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TLDRThis video script offers strategic advice on how to constructively disagree with authority figures in the workplace. It emphasizes the importance of risk assessment before speaking up, choosing the right time and place for the conversation, and preparing a well-researched argument. The script also highlights the need for a respectful and calm approach, focusing on shared goals and maintaining a neutral tone to foster dialogue and avoid defensiveness.

Takeaways
  • 😀 Start with a risk assessment when considering speaking up to authority figures to understand potential consequences and benefits.
  • 🤔 Focus on the risks of not speaking up, considering what opportunities might be lost or issues that could arise later.
  • 🗣️ Assess if speaking up is worth it, especially in environments where it might lead to negative repercussions.
  • 🕰️ Decide on the timing and setting for expressing disagreement, allowing for research and support gathering.
  • 🤝 Choose a private setting for the conversation to minimize threats and maximize open dialogue.
  • 📝 Clearly restate the original idea before presenting your disagreement to ensure mutual understanding.
  • 🙏 Ask for permission to disagree, creating a respectful entry point into the conversation.
  • 🔗 Connect your disagreement to a shared goal to refocus the discussion on common objectives.
  • 👍 Establish a disagreement process in advance to streamline communication and set expectations.
  • 🧘‍♂️ Stay calm and composed to project confidence and neutrality during the discussion.
  • 🌐 Stay humble and open to critique, acknowledging that your opinion is one perspective among many.
  • 🚫 Maintain neutrality by focusing on facts rather than judgments or emotionally charged language.
  • 🤝 Be respectful but firm, acknowledging the authority of the superior while confidently stating your opinion.
Q & A

  • What is the primary concern when considering disagreeing with someone more powerful, like a boss?

    -The primary concern is the fear of confrontation and the potential risks involved, such as emotional rejection or professional failure. It's important to assess these risks realistically to determine if speaking up is worth it.

  • Why might one overplay the risks associated with disagreeing with a superior?

    -People might overplay the risks due to instinctive avoidance of potentially harmful situations. However, in many cases, speaking up the right way won't lead to severe consequences like being fired or making an enemy.

  • What advice does Joseph Grenny give on focusing the risk assessment?

    -Joseph Grenny suggests focusing on the risk of not saying something, considering what opportunities might be missed or what could happen later if the issue is not raised now.

  • How can waiting to share disagreement potentially strengthen your case?

    -Waiting allows time to research facts, understand the full picture, find colleagues who may support your viewpoint, and choose the right environment for the conversation.

  • What is the significance of choosing the right time and place for a disagreement?

    -Choosing the right time and place can make the conversation less threatening and more conducive to a constructive dialogue, increasing the chances of a positive outcome.

  • Why is it recommended to establish a disagreement process with a superior beforehand?

    -Establishing a disagreement process ahead of time sets expectations on how to handle differing opinions and gives tacit permission to voice them, making the actual conversation easier.

  • What should be the initial approach when planning to voice disagreement?

    -Start by restating the original idea or proposal to ensure mutual understanding, ask permission to disagree, and connect your idea to a shared goal to refocus the discussion on accomplishing team or organizational objectives.

  • How can staying calm and projecting confidence enhance the effectiveness of your disagreement?

    -Staying calm and projecting confidence helps maintain a neutral tone and prevents the message from being undercut by anxious or hesitant body language.

  • What is the importance of staying humble and curious when presenting your disagreement?

    -Staying humble and curious leaves room for dialogue, invites curiosity rather than defensiveness, and shows openness to critique, fostering a more constructive conversation.

  • Why is it crucial to stay neutral and avoid judgmental language when disagreeing?

    -Staying neutral and avoiding judgmental language focuses the critique on the problem rather than the people involved, preventing emotional reactions and promoting a solution-oriented discussion.

  • How can acknowledging the superior's authority while stating your opinion demonstrate respect and firmness?

    -Acknowledging their authority, such as by saying 'it's up to you' or 'you'll make the final call,' shows respect for their decision-making role while also being firm about your opinion.

Outlines
00:00
🤔 Confronting Authority: When and How to Disagree

This paragraph discusses the challenges of disagreeing with a powerful figure in a professional setting, such as a boss or senior colleague. It emphasizes the importance of conducting a risk assessment to determine whether speaking up is necessary and beneficial. The speaker suggests focusing on the potential consequences of remaining silent rather than the risks of speaking out. The advice includes considering the timing and environment for expressing disagreement, building a case with facts, and seeking support from like-minded colleagues. The paragraph also touches on the importance of strategic communication, like establishing a disagreement process in advance and connecting one's opinion to shared goals.

05:00
🗣️ Articulating Disagreement: Strategies for Effective Communication

The second paragraph provides a comprehensive guide on how to articulate disagreement respectfully and effectively. It starts by summarizing the importance of understanding the potential outcomes of speaking up versus staying silent. The speaker then advises waiting to initiate a discussion until one has gathered sufficient support and a strong case. Choosing the right time and place for the conversation is highlighted, along with the strategy of restating the original idea to ensure mutual understanding. The paragraph also recommends asking for permission to voice a differing opinion, finding common ground, and connecting the disagreement to a shared goal. Furthermore, it suggests maintaining calm and humility, staying neutral by focusing on facts, and being respectful yet firm in acknowledging the authority's final decision-making role.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Disagree
Disagree refers to the act of holding a different opinion or belief from someone else. In the video's context, it specifically addresses the challenge of disagreeing with someone in a position of authority, like a boss or senior colleague. The script suggests strategies for doing so constructively and confidently, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and respect for the other party's authority.
💡Risk Assessment
A risk assessment is the process of evaluating potential risks and deciding whether to take action to avoid or mitigate them. In the video, it is suggested as the first step in deciding whether to voice disagreement with a superior. The script highlights the importance of considering the risks of both speaking up and remaining silent, to make an informed decision.
💡Confrontation
Confrontation is a face-to-face meeting or situation involving a clash of opinions or interests. The video script discusses the natural human tendency to avoid confrontation with superiors due to fear of emotional rejection or professional failure, but also encourages viewers to reassess these fears and consider the benefits of speaking up.
💡Communication Expert
A communication expert is someone with specialized knowledge or skills in the field of communication, often providing advice on effective ways to convey information. In the script, communication expert Joseph Grenny is mentioned for suggesting a focus on the risks of not speaking up, which is a key concept in deciding to voice disagreement.
💡Strategic
Strategic in this context means planning and acting in a way that is designed to achieve long-term or overall aims. The video emphasizes the need for a strategic approach when disagreeing with authority figures, suggesting that one should be thoughtful and considerate of the potential outcomes of their communication.
💡Chess Game
The term 'chess game' is used metaphorically in the script to illustrate the strategic nature of disagreeing with someone in authority. It suggests that, like in chess, one must think several moves ahead and consider the long-term implications of each action when voicing disagreement.
💡Shared Goal
A shared goal is an objective that is common to two or more parties and towards which they are both working. The video script advises connecting one's disagreement to a shared goal, such as company morale or quarterly earnings, to refocus the discussion on achieving mutual objectives rather than on the disagreement itself.
💡Respectful
Respectful means showing consideration for the feelings or wishes of others. In the context of the video, it is important to be respectful when disagreeing with someone more powerful, acknowledging their authority while also expressing one's own opinion confidently and clearly.
💡Humble
Humble in this context refers to having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance. The script advises staying humble when disagreeing, by acknowledging that one's opinion is just that—an opinion—and by being open to feedback or alternative viewpoints.
💡Neutral
Neutral means not supporting or helping either side in a disagreement, or not showing any particular preference. The video encourages maintaining a neutral stance when presenting an argument, focusing on facts rather than judgments, to keep the discussion productive and avoid unnecessary conflict.
💡Confidence
Confidence is a feeling or belief in one's capabilities or qualities, often shown by a person's attitude or behavior. The script highlights the importance of projecting confidence when speaking up, suggesting that calm and deliberate speech can help convey one's point effectively.
Highlights

Deciding when and how to disagree with authority figures constructively and confidently.

Performing a risk assessment before confronting a superior.

Focusing on the risks of not speaking up, according to communication expert Joseph Grenny.

Considering the potential losses and missed opportunities of staying silent.

Evaluating the consequences of voicing disagreement realistically.

Deciding when and where to share disagreement for a stronger case.

Building support and researching facts before presenting disagreement.

Choosing a private setting for discussing disagreements with powerful individuals.

Strategic communication advised by Holly Weeks, comparing it to a chess game.

Establishing a disagreement process with superiors to facilitate open communication.

Rephrasing the original idea or proposal to ensure mutual understanding.

Asking for permission to disagree as a strategic move to engage superiors.

Connecting disagreement to shared goals to refocus on team or organizational interests.

Maintaining calm and projecting confidence during the disagreement.

Staying humble and open to feedback while presenting one's opinion.

Remaining neutral by sharing facts without judgmental language.

Being respectful and acknowledging the superior's authority in decision-making.

Summarizing the importance of timing, place, and manner in disagreeing with authority.

Encouraging viewers to share their tactics for disagreeing with powerful individuals.

Transcripts

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Related Tags
Workplace CommunicationAuthority DisagreementConflict ResolutionProfessional TacticsRisk AssessmentStrategic DialogueCommunication SkillsLeadership DynamicsTeam GoalsEmotional Intelligence