9 Ways to Handle A Cold And Distant Spouse

In this paragraph, Brad Browning emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and respecting the differences between spouses. He suggests that while couples may develop common interests over time, it's natural for new differences to emerge as well. Browning advises not to interpret these differences as a sign of conflict but rather as a part of what makes each individual unique. He encourages viewers to celebrate these differences and not to push their spouse away by debating opinions or making them feel attacked.

This segment focuses on understanding that a spouse's need for privacy or space might not be a reflection on the viewer but rather a personal phase or struggle they are going through. Browning stresses the importance of not taking it personally and instead calmly inviting closeness rather than angrily demanding it. He recommends being supportive and patient, asking tough questions without making the spouse's issues about oneself, and being selfless and considerate in helping the spouse out of their protective shell.

Here, Browning discusses the counterproductive nature of 'pursuit mode' when a spouse is acting distant. He advises against chasing the spouse, especially when they have indicated a need for space, as it can lead to further distancing. Instead, he suggests respecting their need for time alone and maintaining a positive attitude, trusting that they will initiate communication when ready. Browning also invites viewers to ask questions about this issue in the comments section and offers personal marriage coaching for those interested.

In this paragraph, the advice is to lower one's intensity in response to a spouse's cold behavior. Browning points out that being loud or fast-paced might not be helpful in this situation and could be contributing to the spouse's withdrawal. He recommends slowing down, being calm and patient, and avoiding over-talking or giving unsolicited advice. By toning down one's charisma, the spouse may feel more relaxed and at ease, which could be beneficial for the relationship.

Browning advises giving the spouse space if they are acting distant. He warns against hovering or being overly vocal about their routines, which can be suffocating. He suggests respecting their wishes for space and allowing them time without pursuit, which can encourage them to open up more freely. The key is to support the spouse by giving them the space they need, embodying the principle of 'less is more' in this context.

To address emotional distance, Browning recommends planning dates and activities to do together, thus making the relationship a priority. He emphasizes the importance of spending quality time to re-establish an emotional connection. He advises against diagnosing or scrutinizing the spouse's behavior, and instead suggests talking positively and engaging in activities that foster connection. This approach is more productive and can help save an uncomfortable conversation.

In this paragraph, Browning encourages focusing on personal growth and goals while the spouse is distant. He suggests taking up hobbies or projects and setting personal goals to work towards. This not only serves as a distraction from overbearing behavior but also provides an opportunity for self-improvement. Additionally, he recommends leaning on friends and family for support, which can help manage emotions and prevent taking out frustrations on the spouse.

Despite the spouse's coldness or distance, Browning advises continuing to act kindly and to do small things to make them feel loved. He cites a study by the Gottman Institute that highlights kindness as a key quality in maintaining a loving and healthy marriage. Small gestures of warmth and praise can significantly help in renewing the bond between spouses, even when one partner is acting distant.

Browning concludes with the principle of unconditional love, stating that while one cannot control their spouse's behavior, they can control their own response. He emphasizes treating the spouse with love, even when it is not reciprocated, as part of the commitment made during the marriage vows. Unconditional love can break down emotional barriers and help in understanding the spouse's behavior, whether due to depression, stress, or other reasons. The video ends with a reminder to remain calm and pleasant, and to support the spouse without pushing for explanations.