A hilarious celebration of lifelong female friendship | Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin

TED
19 Jan 201615:44
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn this engaging conversation, Pat Mitchell, Jane Fonda, and Lily Tomlin explore the profound impact of female friendships. They discuss the qualities they value in friends, the support and strength these relationships provide, and how they maintain these bonds as they age. Highlighting recent research, they emphasize the health benefits of close female friendships, including living longer, healthier lives. Fonda and Tomlin also touch on the spiritual aspect of these connections and the potential for women to harness their collective power to effect global change.

Takeaways
  • 👭 The importance of female friendships is emphasized, with the discussion highlighting how these relationships can be a source of strength, wisdom, and support.
  • 📚 Jane Fonda shared the impact of her women friends on her life, stating that they make her stronger, smarter, and braver, and that she exists because of them.
  • 💬 Lily Tomlin described the qualities she looks for in a friend, including a sense of fun, audacity, political awareness, and a sense of justice.
  • 📲 The use of social media and technology to maintain friendships was discussed, with Tomlin mentioning how she uses emails and texts to stay connected and offer support to her friends.
  • 😄 The conversational tone was light-hearted and humorous, showing the camaraderie and long-standing bond between the participants.
  • 🌱 A Harvard Medical School study was referenced, indicating that close female friendships can lead to a more vital and joyful life, and even contribute to living longer.
  • 🚫 The script touched on the detrimental health effects of not having close female friends, comparing it to smoking or being overweight.
  • 🧠 The discussion of how women's friendships are different from men's, with women engaging in full disclosure and deep emotional connections, was a key point.
  • 🌟 The idea that women's friendships are a spiritual act, offering a deep connection and understanding of each other's souls, was shared by Tomlin.
  • 💪 Jane Fonda called for harnessing the power of women's friendships to effect change in the world, particularly in areas such as environmental conservation and social justice.
  • 🌍 The potential of women as a growing demographic to lead and influence global change was highlighted, with a call to action for women to use their power collectively.
Q & A

  • What did Cervantes say about a woman's character in relation to her friends?

    -Cervantes said that you can tell a lot about a woman by the company she keeps, implying that the quality and nature of her friendships reflect on her own character.

  • What qualities does Lily Tomlin look for in a friend?

    -Lily Tomlin looks for someone with a sense of fun, audacity, forthrightness, political awareness, passion for the planet, decency, a sense of justice, and someone who thinks she is worthwhile.

  • How does Jane Fonda describe the impact of her female friends on her life?

    -Jane Fonda describes her female friends as making her stronger, smarter, and braver. They also provide guidance and support, often being a source of course-correction when needed.

  • Why does Jane Fonda believe that friendships are important as one gets older?

    -As Jane Fonda has gotten older, she has come to understand the importance of friendships more deeply. She makes an effort to maintain these relationships, recognizing that they enrich her life and provide a sense of connection.

  • How does Lily Tomlin use technology to keep her friendships vital?

    -Lily Tomlin uses social media, emails, and texts to stay in touch with her friends. She tries to respond quickly to show her support and to let them know she is there for them.

  • What is the significance of emojis in Jane Fonda's friendships?

    -Jane Fonda is really into emojis as a way to express emotions quickly and effectively in her digital communications with friends.

  • What does the Harvard Medical School study suggest about the health benefits of close female friendships?

    -The Harvard Medical School study suggests that women with close female friendships are less likely to develop physical impairments as they age and are likely to live more vital, exciting, and joyful lives. It also indicates that not having close female friends can be as detrimental to health as smoking or being overweight.

  • How does Jane Fonda explain the biological response to stress in women compared to men?

    -Jane Fonda explains that when women are stressed, their bodies get flooded by oxytocin, a hormone that is feel-good, calming, and stress-reducing. This hormone is also increased when women are with their female friends, which may contribute to women living longer.

  • What does Sister Joan Chittister say about the nature of female friendships?

    -Sister Joan Chittister suggests that female friendships are not just a social act, but a spiritual act, implying that these relationships have a profound and meaningful impact on one's spiritual well-being.

  • How do Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin perceive the differences between male and female friendships?

    -Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin perceive that female friendships tend to be more intimate, with full disclosure and a willingness to be vulnerable, whereas male friendships are often more side-by-side and less emotionally revealing.

  • What is the potential impact of harnessing the power of women's friendships according to Jane Fonda?

    -According to Jane Fonda, if women, who are the fastest-growing demographic, especially older women, harness their power, they can change the world. She suggests that women can lead the way in areas such as environmental conservation, consumer behavior, and advocating for renewable energy.

Outlines
00:00
👭 The Value of Female Friendships

The conversation begins with Pat Mitchell reflecting on the importance of female friendships, highlighting the long-standing relationships she shares with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. Mitchell quotes Cervantes to emphasize the significance of a woman's company in defining her character. The discussion evolves into the qualities sought in a friend, with Tomlin valuing fun, audacity, and a sense of justice. Fonda expresses her reliance on her female friends for strength, intelligence, and bravery. The humor and camaraderie among the women underscore the depth of their relationships.

05:01
📚 Maintaining Vital Friendships

The panelists delve into the strategies they employ to sustain their friendships, with Tomlin mentioning the use of social media and prompt responses to stay connected. Fonda shares her practice of sending books to friends and emphasizes the importance of reaching out regularly. They touch on a Harvard Medical School study that links close female friendships to reduced physical impairments and a more joyful life, even suggesting that such friendships can contribute to a longer life span.

10:02
🚫 The Detriment of Loneliness and the Power of Oxytocin

The conversation highlights the negative health impacts of lacking close female friends, equating it to smoking or obesity. Fonda introduces the concept that women's bodies produce oxytocin, a hormone that reduces stress, when they are with their female friends, suggesting a biological advantage to these relationships. Tomlin and Fonda reminisce about their shared experiences and the laughter they shared during the making of '9 to 5,' correlating joy and connection with longevity.

15:02
🌟 Spirituality and the Depth of Female Friendships

The discussion turns to the spiritual aspect of female friendships, with Tomlin recognizing the spiritual essence and deep love in her relationships. Fonda expands on the idea, describing friendships that open the heart and evoke deep emotions. They explore the differences between male and female friendships, noting the full disclosure and depth characteristic of the latter. The conversation concludes with a call to harness the power of female friendships for global change, advocating for environmental consciousness and gender equality.

🌍 Harnessing the Power of Women's Friendships

The final paragraph focuses on the potential of women's friendships as a force for positive change. Fonda and Tomlin discuss the role of women as consumers and citizens in shaping a sustainable and equitable world. They advocate for reduced consumption, local purchasing, and a shift to renewable energy. The conversation ends with a call for a new wave of feminism, emphasizing the need for gender equality and the inclusion of women in constitutional rights, as exemplified by the Equal Rights Amendment.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Female Friendship
Female friendship is a central theme of the video, referring to the bonds and relationships between women. It is portrayed as a source of support, strength, and personal growth. The script discusses the depth and importance of these relationships, with Jane Fonda stating that 'I exist because I have my women friends. They make me stronger, they make me smarter, they make me braver.'
💡Oxytocin
Oxytocin is a hormone mentioned in the script that is associated with stress reduction and bonding. It is highlighted as being particularly relevant to women's friendships, as Jane Fonda explains that women's bodies get flooded by oxytocin when they are with their female friends, which may contribute to their longevity and well-being.
💡Vitality
Vitality in the context of the video refers to the energy, liveliness, and enthusiasm that can be derived from close relationships, particularly female friendships. Lily Tomlin cites a Harvard Medical School study indicating that women with close female friendships are likely to live more vital and joyful lives.
💡Sisterhood
Sisterhood is a term used to describe the collective identity and solidarity among women. In the script, Lily Tomlin emphasizes the power of sisterhood as a force for change, suggesting that female friendships are a stepping stone to a broader sense of unity and empowerment among women.
💡Patriarchal Culture
Patriarchal culture is a societal structure where men hold primary power and are dominant in roles of political leadership, moral authority, and social privilege. Jane Fonda discusses how this culture affects men from a young age, discouraging emotional openness and the development of deep relational bonds.
💡Consumer Standards
Consumer standards refer to the criteria or levels of quality that consumers expect from products and services. The script touches on the idea that women, as a significant demographic, have the power to influence these standards, particularly in terms of promoting local consumption and sustainability.
💡Renewable Energy
Renewable energy is a form of energy that is collected from renewable resources, such as sunlight, wind, rain, tides, and geothermal heat. In the video, Jane Fonda argues for the adoption of renewable energy as a means to achieve greater democracy, job creation, and well-being, with women leading the way.
💡Emotional Vulnerability
Emotional vulnerability is the willingness to expose one's feelings and emotions to others, which is seen as a key aspect of deep and meaningful friendships. The script contrasts the openness and vulnerability in women's friendships with the more reserved approach often seen in men's friendships.
💡Role Models
Role models are individuals who serve as examples to others, demonstrating behaviors, values, or skills that are worthy of emulation. The video suggests that Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin themselves are role models for long-lasting female friendships and for thinking about women's power in new ways.
💡Gender Equality
Gender equality is the state of equal ease of access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender, including social, political, and economic equality. The script mentions the need for gender equality as a tide that would lift all boats, benefiting society as a whole.
💡Spiritual
In the context of the video, spiritual refers to the deep, transcendent aspect of relationships that provide a sense of connection beyond the physical or material. Lily Tomlin describes seeing the spiritual essence in long-term friends and experiencing a profound love and understanding that enriches their bond.
Highlights

Pat Mitchell discusses the importance of female friendship and quotes Cervantes about the company a woman keeps reflecting on her character.

Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin share a humorous moment, highlighting the camaraderie and playful nature of their long-term friendship.

Lily Tomlin describes the qualities she looks for in a friend, emphasizing fun, audacity, and a passion for the planet.

Jane Fonda expresses the profound impact of her women friends on her life, stating that they make her stronger, smarter, and braver.

The conversation touches on the generational aspect of friendship, with Fonda mentioning that most of her close friends are younger.

Lily Tomlin discusses the use of social media and prompt communication to maintain vital friendships, especially with her friends in the arts and activism.

Jane Fonda shares her practice of sending books to friends as a way to stay connected and share knowledge.

Lily Tomlin brings attention to the lack of research on female friendships and the recent findings that highlight their importance.

A Harvard Medical School study is mentioned, which shows that close female friendships can lead to a more vital and joyful life, and even extend life expectancy.

Jane Fonda adds to the discussion by explaining how oxytocin, a hormone associated with stress reduction, is increased in women when they are with female friends.

The conversation reflects on the spiritual aspect of female friendships, with Lily Tomlin sharing her view on the deep connection and love within these relationships.

Jane Fonda discusses the differences between male and female friendships, emphasizing the full disclosure and deep emotional connections in female relationships.

Lily Tomlin humorously points out the stereotypical behaviors of men in contrast to the emotional depth of female friendships.

Jane Fonda explains how patriarchal culture has influenced men's ability to form deep emotional connections and the impact on their health.

The speakers agree on the importance of female friendships as a source of strength and the potential for a third-wave feminist movement.

Jane Fonda calls for action, urging women to harness their power as consumers and citizens to promote sustainability and gender equality.

Lily Tomlin suggests that the momentum of female friendships could lead to significant societal changes, including the adoption of the Equal Rights Amendment.

The conversation concludes with a call to redefine role models and the power dynamics in society, with a focus on female friendships as a driving force for change.

Transcripts

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Female FriendshipEmotional SupportSisterhoodHealth BenefitsLaughter TherapyGender EqualityCultural ImpactAging GracefullySocial MediaRenewable Energy