Life in a Trash Bag: Restoring Dignity to Foster Children | Rob Scheer | TEDxTysons

TEDx Talks
9 Mar 201909:28
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe speaker, a former foster child, shares a deeply personal journey from homelessness to success, highlighting the stark statistics of the U.S. foster care system. With only 2% of foster children earning a degree, the speaker emphasizes the importance of hope and dignity. Founding 'Comfort Cases,' a charity providing essentials and comfort items to foster youth, the speaker has given out 42,000 cases across 41 states, inspiring a community to show these kids they matter and are loved.

Takeaways
  • 🌟 Nelson Mandela's quote emphasizes our universal desire for happiness and the well-being of our children.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Parents in the audience are willing to sacrifice their own happiness for their children's success.
  • 🧳 The speaker's childhood experience in the foster care system, carrying all possessions in a trash bag, symbolizes the dehumanizing aspect of the system.
  • 📉 Dismal statistics for foster children: only 54% graduate high school, 11% apply for college, and 2% earn a four-year degree.
  • 🚫 High rates of homelessness and incarceration among those who age out of the foster system, with 70% becoming homeless within two years.
  • 🏡 The speaker's personal story of hardship, including living in shelters and dealing with drug-addicted, alcoholic parents.
  • 🔄 The choice the speaker made at 12 years old to not let the foster care system define them, and the subsequent journey to a better life.
  • 🎓 Joining the U.S. Navy after becoming homeless at 18, driven by hunger, fear, and a lack of direction.
  • 💼 Success in business and personal life, including marriage and the desire to create a family, leading to the adoption of four children.
  • 📚 The importance of storytelling and giving a voice to foster children, as well as the speaker's commitment to advocacy.
  • 🛍️ The establishment of Comfort Cases, a charity providing hope and dignity to foster youth through essential items and care packages.
  • 📚 The inclusion of books in the charity's care packages to foster a love for reading and provide a sense of belonging.
  • 🌍 The impact of the charity, having distributed 42,000 cases across 41 states, emphasizing the importance of community and human connection.
Q & A

  • What did Nelson Mandela say connects all people regardless of race, age, or error?

    -Nelson Mandela said that everyone is connected by the desire to be happy and the wish for their children to do well.

  • What is the significance of the suitcase and trash bag mentioned in the script?

    -The suitcase and trash bag symbolize the narrator's belongings during their time in the foster care system, representing feelings of worthlessness and a lack of dignity.

  • What percentage of foster care children in the United States graduate from high school according to the script?

    -According to the script, only 54 percent of foster care children in the United States graduate from high school.

  • What is the percentage of foster care children who apply for college?

    -The script states that only 11 percent of foster care children apply for college.

  • How many foster care children are expected to age out of the system unprepared for adulthood each year?

    -The script mentions that 25,000 kids in the system will age out unprepared for adulthood each year.

  • What is the likelihood of foster care children becoming homeless within two years of aging out of the system?

    -The script indicates that 70 percent of the 25,000 kids who age out of the system will be homeless within two years.

  • What percentage of prisons are filled with individuals who have been touched by the foster care system?

    -The script reveals that 80 percent of prisons are filled with people who have been touched by the foster care system.

  • What was the narrator's personal experience after turning 18 and becoming homeless?

    -The narrator describes being homeless at 18, struggling with hunger, and feeling the need to hide their circumstances from others at school.

  • Why did the narrator join the United States Navy after graduating from high school?

    -The narrator joined the Navy not out of patriotism, but because they were hungry, lost, and scared, seeking a stable source of food and shelter.

  • What charity did the narrator and their husband start, and what was its purpose?

    -The narrator and their husband started a charity called Comfort Cases to provide hope and dignity to foster youth by supplying them with essential items and a sense of belonging.

  • What items are included in a Comfort Case to ensure a sense of dignity and hope for foster children?

    -A Comfort Case includes a brand-new pair of pajamas, a toothbrush, shampoo, lotion, conditioner, a bar of soap, an activity, a book, and a blanket to symbolize love and care.

  • How many Comfort Cases have been given out, and in how many states and territories?

    -42,000 Comfort Cases have been given out in 41 states, including Puerto Rico and Washington, D.C.

Outlines
00:00
🧳 Overcoming Adversity in Foster Care

The speaker begins by referencing Nelson Mandela's words about the universal desire for happiness and the well-being of children, setting the stage for a personal narrative. They recount their own experience in the foster care system, highlighting the stark statistics about the limited educational and life prospects for children in care. The speaker shares their own story of resilience, from carrying all their belongings in a trash bag to eventually joining the U.S. Navy and overcoming homelessness. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of choice and determination in the face of adversity.

05:02
💖 Creating a Legacy of Hope and Dignity

In the second paragraph, the speaker transitions to their journey as a successful adult, who, despite their troubled past, found love and purpose. They express a deep desire to give back, particularly to children in foster care, by establishing a charity called Comfort Cases. The charity aims to provide foster children with essential items like pajamas, toiletries, and a blanket, symbolizing love and dignity. The speaker recounts the impact of these simple gestures, like the first time their daughter smiled after receiving a nightgown. The charity has grown to serve thousands of children across multiple states, embodying the idea that community extends beyond geographical boundaries and encompasses the human race as a whole.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Foster Care System
The foster care system is a government-regulated system for the temporary care of children whose parents are unable to provide for them. In the video, the speaker's personal experience with the foster care system is central to the narrative, highlighting the struggles and statistics associated with children in this system, such as the low high school graduation rates and the high likelihood of homelessness or incarceration.
💡Happiness
Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment. Nelson Mandela's quote, cited in the script, suggests that the desire for happiness is a universal human experience. The speaker relates this to the parents in the audience, who are willing to sacrifice their own happiness for the well-being of their children, underscoring the emotional bond and selflessness of parental love.
💡Homelessness
Homelessness refers to the condition of lacking a fixed, regular, and adequate night-time residence. The script discusses the grim reality that a significant percentage of children aging out of the foster care system become homeless within two years, emphasizing the lack of support and preparation for adulthood that these young people face.
💡Dignity
Dignity is the state of being worthy of respect or esteem. The speaker's charity, Comfort Cases, aims to provide dignity to foster children by giving them new items and necessities, which is a stark contrast to the dehumanizing experiences they may have faced, such as being defined by a trash bag full of belongings.
💡Hope
Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. The charity Comfort Cases is described as providing hope and dignity to foster youth, suggesting that the act of giving them new belongings and essentials can instill a sense of optimism and self-worth.
💡Education
Education is the process of acquiring knowledge, skills, values, and habits. The script highlights the low educational attainment rates among children in the foster care system, with only 54% graduating from high school and a mere 2% obtaining a four-year degree, indicating the barriers to education these children face.
💡Choice
Choice refers to the act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of personal choice in overcoming adversity, as he chose not to let his past define him and instead pursued a better life, joining the Navy and eventually becoming a successful businessman.
💡Adversity
Adversity is a state of misfortune or difficulty. The speaker's life story is filled with adversity, from his time in the foster care system to becoming homeless after turning 18. However, he uses his experiences to inspire and show that resilience and determination can lead to overcoming such challenges.
💡Self-worth
Self-worth is the value or esteem that a person places on themselves. The speaker talks about how his past and the trash bag of belongings were attempts to make him feel worthless. His journey is one of recognizing and asserting his own self-worth, despite the circumstances.
💡Community
Community refers to a group of people living in the same place or having particular characteristics in common. The speaker believes that community is not defined by geographical boundaries but by the shared human experience. Through his charity, he aims to create a supportive community for foster children, showing that they are valued and not alone.
💡Privilege
Privilege is a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group. The speaker views giving back as a privilege, not just for the recipients but also for the givers, as it allows them to contribute positively to society and make a difference in the lives of others.
Highlights

Nelson Mandela's quote on the universal desires for happiness and children's success.

The emotional impact of parents' willingness to sacrifice their own happiness for their children's well-being.

The speaker's personal experience as a child in the foster care system and the symbolic significance of their suitcase.

The harsh reality of foster care statistics: only 54% graduate high school, 11% apply for college, and 2% earn a four-year degree.

The alarming fact that 70% of kids aging out of the foster care system will be homeless within two years.

The disproportionate representation of individuals with foster care backgrounds in prisons.

The speaker's personal narrative of resilience and determination to overcome the challenges of the foster care system.

The transformative moment when the speaker joined the United States Navy to escape homelessness and find purpose.

The emotional release and symbolic act of discarding the trash bag that represented the speaker's past struggles.

The speaker's journey to becoming a successful businessman and finding love and family.

The decision to adopt children and create a 'forever family' as a reflection of the speaker's desire to give back.

The revelation of the speaker's past and the motivation to share their story to inspire and support children in care.

The establishment of the charity 'Comfort Cases' to provide hope and dignity to foster youth.

The specific items included in 'Comfort Cases' to meet the basic needs and provide comfort to foster children.

The story of the first night the speaker's daughter received a nightgown and the significance of that moment.

The speaker's belief in the power of community and the collective impact of individual actions.

The impressive reach of 'Comfort Cases', having distributed 42,000 cases across 41 states, Puerto Rico, and DC.

The speaker's closing message on the importance of recognizing and valuing every individual's contribution to society.

Transcripts

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Foster CareAdvocacyInspirationalChild WelfareOvercoming AdversityYouth EmpowermentSocial ImpactCharity WorkPersonal GrowthCommunity Support