Fostering Kids: What No One Tells You About Foster Care

Lucrece Bundy
16 Sept 202011:03
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn this informative video, adoption attorney Lacris Bendy shares seven essential tips for prospective foster parents. From preparing clothes and understanding the children's backgrounds to managing visits with biological parents and the foster care caseworker's support, Bendy provides practical advice. She also emphasizes the importance of time commitment, Medicaid coverage for foster children's expenses, and the need for emotional space amid new relationships. Additional tips include creating a welcoming environment and joining a supportive community for further guidance.

Takeaways
  • πŸ‘• Be prepared with extra clothes and shoes for foster children, as they may arrive with very few belongings.
  • πŸ” Understand that you may not know the full family history or specific needs of a foster child upon arrival.
  • πŸ‘ͺ Foster children will have visits with their biological parents, which can be emotionally challenging and may affect their behavior.
  • 🀝 Build a strong relationship with your foster care caseworker, who is there to support and assist you throughout the process.
  • ⏰ Recognize the significant time commitment involved in ensuring the well-being of a foster child, including medical, educational, and emotional needs.
  • πŸ’° Be aware that Medicaid typically covers most medical expenses for foster children, relieving some financial concerns.
  • 🏫 Remember that foster children's school expenses, daycare, and even school lunches are often covered by the state.
  • πŸ‘€ Be mindful of the number of visitors and strangers a foster child encounters, as it can be overwhelming and affect their behavior.
  • 🎨 Consider creating a welcoming space for foster children, like a personalized canvas, to help them feel at home and in control.
  • πŸ“ˆ Join support groups and communities for foster and adoptive parents to share experiences and gain valuable insights.
  • πŸ“š Subscribe to the channel for weekly adoption advice and tips, and engage with the community for ongoing support.
Q & A
  • What is the main topic of the video?

    -The main topic of the video is to cover seven important things one should know about being a foster care parent.

  • Who is Lacris Bendy and what is her profession?

    -Lacris Bendy is an adoption attorney who helps families finalize their adoptions and has a special interest in foster care.

  • What is the purpose of foster care according to the video?

    -The purpose of foster care is to provide a safe family environment for children who have been removed from their biological parents due to abuse, neglect, or other issues.

  • What is the role of a caseworker in foster care?

    -A caseworker in foster care supports and guides the foster parents, answering questions and helping them navigate the process of caring for a foster child.

  • Why is it important for foster parents to have extra clothes and shoes available?

    -It is important because children often arrive at foster homes with very few belongings, and having extra clothes and shoes ensures they have something to wear during their stay.

  • Why might a foster parent not know the entire family history of their foster child?

    -A foster parent might not know the entire family history because sometimes children are quickly removed from their homes and placed in foster care without much time for the foster parent to receive detailed information.

  • How does the foster care process handle visits between foster children and their biological parents?

    -Visits between foster children and their biological parents are a part of the process, aiming to reunite the child with their family, and can be emotionally challenging for the children.

  • What is the role of a foster care caseworker in supporting foster parents?

    -The foster care caseworker is there to help foster parents succeed, providing support, guidance, and assistance in managing the challenges of fostering a child.

  • What is the significance of time commitment when becoming a foster care parent?

    -The time commitment is significant as foster parents need to ensure the child receives necessary medical care, attends school, and has their other needs met, which can be time-consuming.

  • How does Medicaid assist foster parents with the medical expenses of their foster children?

    -Medicaid covers nearly all medical expenses for foster children, including doctor visits, surgeries, and dental care, relieving foster parents of these financial burdens.

  • What advice does the video give regarding strangers and visitors for foster children?

    -The video advises foster parents to be mindful of the number of strangers and visitors their foster children encounter, as too many new people can be overwhelming and potentially lead to behavioral issues.

  • What are some bonus tips provided in the video for making a foster child feel at home?

    -One bonus tip is to provide a canvas with the child's initial for them to paint, creating a sense of ownership and a special place in the home.

  • How can viewers get more adoption support and resources?

    -Viewers can join the adoption support and resource community on Facebook, a free group set up by Lacris Bendy to encourage and provide information to those on their adoption journey.

Outlines
00:00
πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§ Foster Care Parenting Essentials

In this introductory paragraph, Lacris Bendy, an adoption attorney, welcomes viewers to the channel and outlines the purpose of the video: to discuss seven key points for prospective foster care parents. Lacris emphasizes the importance of foster care in providing safe environments for children removed from their biological homes due to abuse or neglect. The video aims to address aspects not typically covered by foster care agencies, using the analogy of discovering new facets of a partner after marriage to illustrate the unexpected challenges that may arise in foster parenting.

05:01
πŸ‘• Preparing for Foster Children's Arrival

This paragraph focuses on the practical preparations needed when becoming a foster parent. Lacris advises having an extra stash of clothes and shoes, as children often arrive with minimal belongings. The unpredictability of a child's arrival and the lack of complete family history information at the outset are highlighted, underscoring the need for foster parents to be adaptable and prepared for unknowns such as allergies or other health issues. The paragraph also touches on the emotional impact of children's visits with their biological parents, which can lead to behavioral changes that foster parents should anticipate and manage.

10:02
🀝 Building Relationships with Caseworkers

Lacris, drawing from her experience as a foster care specialist, emphasizes the importance of establishing a strong relationship with caseworkers. Caseworkers are portrayed as allies who are dedicated to supporting foster parents' success. Open communication with caseworkers is encouraged to ensure that they are well-informed about the child's situation and can provide necessary assistance. The paragraph also discusses the significance of caseworkers in helping foster parents navigate the complexities of foster care, including the child's medical and educational needs.

⏰ Time Commitment and Medicaid Support

The fourth paragraph delves into the time commitment required of foster parents, who must ensure that the child in their care receives proper medical care, attends school, and has their developmental needs met. Lacris mentions the potential for significant time investment in coordinating medical appointments and school enrollment. However, she reassures viewers that Medicaid covers almost all medical expenses for foster children, alleviating the financial burden on foster parents. She also notes that school and daycare expenses are covered, allowing foster parents to focus on providing emotional support and stability.

🚫 Managing Strangers and Visitors

In this paragraph, Lacris addresses the challenges that foster children may face when adjusting to new people in their lives. She advises foster parents to be mindful of the child's comfort level with visitors, as too many strangers can be overwhelming. The importance of giving children space and time to adjust is highlighted, along with the need to read their emotional cues and reactions to ensure they feel secure and not overwhelmed in their new environment.

🎨 Creating a Sense of Ownership

The final paragraph offers additional tips for making foster children feel at home. Lacris suggests activities like painting a canvas with the child's initial to create a personal touch in their living space. The focus is on helping children feel a sense of ownership and control over their environment, which can contribute to their emotional well-being and comfort in their foster home.

πŸ€— Joining the Adoption Support Community

In the closing paragraph, Lacris invites viewers to join her free Facebook adoption support and resource community. This group is designed to connect people interested in adoption and provide a platform for sharing experiences, encouragement, and information. Lacris promises to be active in the group, offering live sessions with guest speakers to assist families on their adoption journey.

Mindmap
Keywords
πŸ’‘Foster Care Parent
A foster care parent is an individual who takes on the responsibility of caring for a child who has been removed from their biological family due to circumstances such as abuse or neglect. In the video, the concept is central as the speaker shares insights into the role and challenges of being a foster care parent, emphasizing the importance of training and the emotional support needed for the children involved.
πŸ’‘Adoption Attorney
An adoption attorney is a legal professional who specializes in helping families navigate the legal aspects of adoption. In the script, the speaker introduces themselves as an adoption attorney, indicating their expertise in the field and their ability to provide informed advice on foster care and adoption processes.
πŸ’‘Caseworker
A caseworker is a professional who works for social service agencies and is assigned to individual cases, such as those of foster children, to provide support and guidance. The video mentions caseworkers as essential allies for foster parents, assisting with the integration of children into their new homes and answering any questions that may arise.
πŸ’‘Project Harmony
Project Harmony is mentioned as a place in Nebraska where children are taken to get examined after being removed from their homes. It serves as an example of an organization that plays a critical role in the initial stages of a child's entry into the foster care system.
πŸ’‘Emotional Support
Emotional support is the encouragement and understanding provided to individuals to help them cope with their feelings and challenges. The video script discusses the need for foster parents to be emotionally supportive, particularly when children are dealing with the trauma of being separated from their biological families.
πŸ’‘Time Commitment
Time commitment refers to the amount of time and effort one needs to dedicate to a particular task or role. In the context of the video, the time commitment for foster parents involves ensuring the child's medical, educational, and emotional needs are met, which can be significant.
πŸ’‘Medicaid
Medicaid is a government health insurance program in the United States that provides coverage for low-income individuals and families. The script highlights that Medicaid covers most medical expenses for foster children, relieving foster parents of the financial burden associated with healthcare.
πŸ’‘Behavioral Escalation
Behavioral escalation refers to an increase in the intensity or frequency of a behavior, often in response to stress or trauma. The video mentions that foster children may exhibit escalated behaviors after visits with their biological families, underscoring the need for foster parents to be understanding and prepared for such reactions.
πŸ’‘Guardian ad Litem
A guardian ad litem is a court-appointed advocate for the best interests of a child involved in a legal case, such as foster care or adoption proceedings. The script notes the involvement of guardian ad litem among the many professionals that foster children may encounter, indicating the complex network of support around these children.
πŸ’‘Emotional Energy
Emotional energy is the psychological and emotional investment one puts into a situation or relationship. The video emphasizes that while foster parents may not be financially burdened, they are asked to give their time, commitment, and emotional energy to support the children in their care.
πŸ’‘Visitors
In the context of the video, visitors refer to the people who come to meet the foster child, such as family members and professionals. The script advises foster parents to be mindful of the number of visitors and the potential stress it may cause to the child, highlighting the importance of creating a comfortable and stable environment.
Highlights

Introduction to the video and the speaker, Lacris Bendy, an adoption attorney with a focus on foster care adoptions.

Importance of being a foster care parent for children in need due to abuse, neglect, or other issues with their biological parents.

Overview of foster care parent training and the support provided by caseworkers.

Uncovered aspects of foster parenting not covered by agencies, similar to post-marital life revelations.

The necessity of having extra clothes and shoes ready for foster children who arrive with limited belongings.

Challenges of not knowing the full family history of foster children, including potential allergies or health issues.

Understanding the foster care process includes visits with biological parents, which can be traumatic for the child.

The role of foster care caseworkers as allies and supporters of foster parents.

The significant time commitment required for foster parents, including ensuring medical and educational needs are met.

Medicaid coverage for nearly all medical expenses of foster children, alleviating financial concerns for foster parents.

The emotional and practical considerations of managing visitors and strangers in the life of a foster child.

Tips for making foster children feel at home, such as personalized canvas painting.

Invitation to join the adoption support and resource community on Facebook for further guidance and support.

The importance of fostering a sense of control and ownership for foster children in their new environment.

Advice on gauging a foster child's comfort with visitors to prevent overwhelming them.

Emphasizing the emotional energy investment required from foster parents beyond the physical aspects of care.

Encouragement for viewers to subscribe to the channel for weekly adoption advice and support.

Transcripts
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