Changing Perspective from Shame to Self-worth | Sue Bryce | TEDxPepperdineUniversity
TLDRThe speaker, a self-made portrait photographer from South Auckland, New Zealand, shares her journey from feeling inadequate due to not finishing high school to finding her path through photography. She emphasizes the importance of mastering a craft and the transformative power of self-worth in achieving success. The speaker encourages embracing one's shame and turning it into a superpower, illustrating how self-acceptance, awareness, and love can lead to personal and financial abundance. Her story is a testament to the power of overcoming fear and avoidance to rewrite one's narrative and achieve a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Takeaways
- π The speaker overcame feelings of inadequacy and shame from not finishing high school and growing up in a working-class, uneducated environment.
- πΈ Discovering a passion for photography at 18, the speaker found a path that led to mastery and a sense of self-worth that education couldn't provide.
- π Mastery was a key to unlocking confidence and was something that no one could take away, regardless of one's background.
- π€ The speaker's career as a portrait photographer allowed interaction with successful individuals who valued her work, highlighting the importance of skill over formal education.
- πΌ At 30, despite having a successful career, the speaker struggled with the idea of starting a business due to a lack of financial resources and self-worth.
- π A pivotal moment was learning about her parents' past business failure and the emotional pain associated with not being able to ask for money, which resonated with her own struggles.
- π° The speaker realized that self-worth and the ability to value one's own work are crucial for financial success and abundance.
- π§ββοΈ Emotional pain and self-worth are closely linked, and the body often reflects internal struggles such as debt and self-hate.
- π To create change, one must face and accept their current situation, take responsibility, and rewrite their narrative.
- π€ The speaker encourages questioning fear, staying conscious, and observing thoughts to avoid falling back into old patterns.
- πͺ Developing self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-love are essential for challenging old identities and creating a new story of success.
- π The speaker emphasizes that success is not about external validation but about internal transformation and the courage to endure pain for growth.
- π± The journey involves learning from shame and using it as a catalyst for empowerment, turning weaknesses into strengths.
- π― Setting clear intentions and focusing obsessively on them, with a heart full of service, can lead to achieving one's goals and desires.
- π The speaker's personal transformation involved breaking the cycle of debt and learning to attract, manage, and keep money, which improved all areas of life.
- π Honoring oneself and recognizing one's worth is essential to attract more than what one believes they are worth.
Q & A
What was the speaker's greatest shame?
-The speaker's greatest shame was that she did not finish high school.
How did the speaker's upbringing affect her self-perception?
-The speaker grew up in a working-class and uneducated environment, which led her to feel not good enough and to perceive herself as inadequate.
What career did the speaker find at the age of 18?
-The speaker found her path as a portrait photographer at the age of 18.
How did the speaker's view on mastery change her life?
-Mastery gave the speaker confidence that she did not get from education, and it didn't matter where she came from or who she was, because no one could take her mastery away.
What did the speaker learn from photographing high-profile individuals?
-The speaker learned that the camera is a remarkable tool that can bring out vulnerability in people, and that her clients did not care about her lack of formal education.
Why did the speaker feel she was not able to start a business?
-The speaker felt she lacked the necessary money, education, and self-value to start a business.
What revelation did the speaker receive from her mother about their family's past?
-The speaker learned that her parents had started a business but lost it, which was news to her and profoundly changed her life.
How did the speaker's understanding of self-worth impact her business and life?
-The speaker realized that self-worth is a prerequisite for creating abundance, and by focusing on self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-love, she was able to build a successful business and life.
What advice does the speaker give for dealing with fear and creating a new story?
-The speaker advises to question fear, stay conscious and aware, observe one's own thoughts, and not to numb the pain but feel and observe it to evolve and create a new story.
How did the speaker transform her shame into a superpower?
-The speaker built an education company, empowering her greatest shame of being uneducated and turning it into her superpower.
What is the key takeaway from the speaker's journey to success?
-The key takeaway is that one must find their value and rewrite their story, understanding that the antonym of shame is honor, and that it's never too late to make such changes.
Outlines
π Overcoming Educational Deficiency and Embracing Mastery
The speaker reflects on her journey from a working-class background in South Auckland, New Zealand, to standing on a prestigious college stage. Despite not finishing high school, she found her path as a portrait photographer and spent a decade mastering her craft. Mastery became a source of confidence that surpassed formal education. The speaker emphasizes that mastery is something no one can take away and it helped her to rise above her perceived inadequacies, leading to success in her career and interactions with high-profile clients.
π° Understanding Self-Worth and the Role of Money in Success
The speaker delves into the concept of self-worth and its impact on financial success. She discusses her struggles with valuing her work and the emotional pain associated with putting herself and her work out into the world. She connects physical and emotional pain to financial struggles, such as debt, and suggests that self-worth is a prerequisite for creating abundance. The speaker argues that money and sales are metrics of self-worth and that one must be able to receive value to create abundance. She encourages self-reflection and conscious awareness to overcome avoidance and resistance, and to rewrite one's story of self-worth.
π§ββοΈ Mastering Emotional Intelligence and Self-Love
The speaker continues with the theme of self-improvement, focusing on the importance of staying present and managing one's emotional responses. She advises on the practice of self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-love as a means to challenge old identities and achieve emotional mastery. The speaker shares her realization that the world wasn't against her once she understood her own value. She encourages daily practices of these principles and observes the transformation they bring. She also talks about turning her perceived shame of being uneducated into a superpower by building an education company.
πΌ Creating Abundance and Rewriting Your Story
In the final paragraph, the speaker challenges the audience to find their own value and emphasizes that it's never too late to rewrite one's story. She stresses that one's ability to attract abundance is directly tied to their belief in their own worth. She shares her personal journey of breaking free from a debt cycle, building a successful business, and finding confidence in serving others. The speaker concludes by reminding everyone that honoring oneself is the key to overcoming shame and achieving a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Mastery
π‘Self-worth
π‘Fear
π‘Shame
π‘Debt cycle
π‘
π‘Self-acceptance
π‘Emotional mastery
π‘Survival mindset
π‘Value
π‘Avoidance
π‘Self-care
Highlights
Speaker reflects on her journey from South Auckland to a prestigious college platform.
Shares her greatest shame: not finishing high school.
Struggles with feeling not good enough and the impact on her life.
Grew up in a working-class, uneducated family with a sense of inadequacy.
Discovered photography at 18 and found her path as a portrait photographer.
Mastery in her craft gave her confidence beyond formal education.
Became an associate photographer, photographing high-profile individuals.
Realized the camera reveals vulnerability in people.
Faced challenges with self-worth and value in business.
Learned about her parents' failed business and its impact on her.
Suffered from the inability to sell her work and ask for money.
Understood that value and self-worth are key to creating abundance.
Emotional pain and self-hate manifest physically.
Shame is a guiding light to self-worth, not an enemy.
Sales and money are metrics of self-worth in business.
The importance of self-worth in creating a life of abundance.
The power of self-acceptance and self-love in personal growth.
The process of rewriting one's story through self-awareness and acceptance.
Overcoming fear and avoidance by questioning and observing thoughts.
Mastering self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-love for transformation.
The speaker's transformation from deep shame to building an education company.
The belief that one can attract more than what they believe they're worth.
Challenge to find one's value and rewrite their story at any age.
Transcripts
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