How to Figure Out What You Really Want | Ashley Stahl | TEDxLeidenUniversity
TLDRIn a powerful and emotional narrative, the speaker recounts the harrowing experience of her father receiving a fake kidnapping call, which led to a profound realization about fear and its impact on life choices. The story unfolds with the father's desperate compliance to the kidnappers' demands, while the speaker was safe and unaware, conducting a podcast interview. The climax occurs when the police intervene, revealing the scam and reuniting father and daughter. The speaker then reflects on the incident, contemplating the reasons behind such cruel actions by the perpetrators and extending compassion towards them. She draws parallels between the external kidnappers and the internal forces that hold people hostage from their true desires, encouraging the audience to perform a 'self audit' to identify areas where they may be limiting themselves. The speaker offers three steps to overcoming fear and living authentically: conducting a self audit, following what feels good, and taking action. The summary concludes with an empowering message that everyone has the opportunity to make a 'you-turn' towards a life aligned with their true self.
Takeaways
- 📞 The story begins with a terrifying phone call, where a father is told his daughter has been kidnapped, highlighting the vulnerability and fear that can grip us when our loved ones are threatened.
- 💔 The emotional backdrop of the family's recent loss of the father's older daughter intensifies the urgency and desperation in his response to the potential threat to his remaining daughter.
- 🤔 The father's immediate compliance with the kidnappers' demands, driven by fear, illustrates the power of fear in decision-making and the instinct to protect our loved ones at all costs.
- 🗝️ The mother's silent action to call 911 while the father keeps the kidnappers on the line demonstrates the importance of quick thinking and cooperation in crisis situations.
- 🚓 The police's involvement and coordination with the family to handle the situation at the bank underscores the critical role of law enforcement in resolving high-stakes emergencies.
- 🤯 The revelation that the kidnapping was a scam and the daughter was safe all along serves as a powerful reminder of the potential for manipulation and deceit in times of crisis.
- 😢 The father's emotional breakdown upon hearing his daughter's voice reflects the immense relief and emotional toll that such a traumatic event can have on individuals and families.
- 🤷♀️ The daughter's reflection on her own life choices and realization that societal pressures and fear can lead to self-imposed limitations, or 'kidnapping' oneself from one's true desires.
- 🔍 The call to self-audit and self-reflection as a means to identify and overcome personal barriers that prevent one from pursuing their authentic path in life.
- 🌟 The importance of following one's intuition and what feels good as a guide to discovering one's purpose and passion, as opposed to simply following one's passion without self-awareness.
- 📝 The recommendation to use a 'joy journal' as a tool for identifying activities and experiences that bring joy and fulfillment, which can help clarify one's true desires and direction in life.
- 💪 The necessity of taking action despite fear and perfectionism, as engagement with the world provides clarity and the opportunity for growth and course correction.
- 🔄 The message of empowerment and the opportunity each person has to make a 'you-turn' in life, reorienting towards a path that aligns with their true self and aspirations.
Q & A
What was the initial event that triggered the series of events in the story?
-The initial event was a phone call to the narrator's father from an unknown number, during which a woman was heard crying and screaming, followed by a man's voice claiming to have kidnapped the father's daughter.
How did the father respond to the kidnappers' demands?
-The father, in a state of fear and desperation, agreed to the kidnappers' demands, saying he would do whatever they wanted as his daughter was his only remaining child.
What was the mother's role during the phone call and the bank visit?
-The mother silently followed her husband's instructions to call 911, then discreetly met the police at the bank without alerting the kidnappers.
Why was the father particularly vulnerable to the kidnappers' threats?
-The father was particularly vulnerable because he had recently lost his eldest daughter, and he was deeply afraid of losing his only remaining daughter.
How did the police become involved in the situation?
-The mother managed to call 911 and inform the police about the situation. The police then coordinated with the mother and were present at the bank during the ransom drop-off.
What was the narrator doing while her father was being manipulated by the kidnappers?
-The narrator was in her office in Beverly Hills conducting a podcast interview, unaware of the situation unfolding with her father.
How did the narrator find out about the situation?
-The narrator found out about the situation when she saw a text message from the police asking her to call them, indicating that they were with her family.
What was the turning point for the father when he realized it was a scam?
-The turning point for the father was when the police officer, after speaking with the narrator, yelled to him to hang up the phone, revealing that the kidnapping was a scam.
What was the narrator's emotional response when she heard her father's voice after the ordeal?
-The narrator felt her father's pain and grief deeply when they spoke, and she heard him break down and sob in a way she had never heard before.
What lesson did the narrator learn from the experience about fear and decision-making?
-The narrator learned that fear can cause people to give away their power and make decisions without considering other options. She realized that her father, like many others, felt cornered and acted out of desperation.
What advice does the narrator offer to others to avoid being 'kidnapped' by their own fears?
-The narrator advises others to conduct a self-audit to identify where they may be holding themselves captive, to follow what feels good to them as a means of discovering their true desires, and to take action towards their goals without letting perfectionism or fear of failure hold them back.
How does the narrator suggest using a 'joy journal' to help understand one's true passions?
-The narrator suggests using a 'joy journal' to record moments of joy and inspiration over a period of 30 days. By reviewing these entries, one can identify patterns and skills that were used during these moments, which can provide insight into their true passions and career paths.
Outlines
📞 A Shocking Phone Call
The video script begins with a dramatic scene where the narrator's father receives a distressing phone call at 2:45 PM on a rainy day in Los Angeles. The call, from an unknown number, involves a woman's cries and a man's threats, claiming to have kidnapped the narrator's sister. The father, having recently lost his eldest daughter, is left in a state of shock and desperation, willing to comply with the kidnappers' demands. He manages to alert his wife to call the police without the kidnappers' knowledge. The police are informed and prepare to intervene as the father is instructed to go to the bank to pay a ransom. Meanwhile, the narrator is oblivious to the situation, conducting a podcast interview in her Beverly Hills office.
😢 Emotional Aftermath and Realization
The father's emotional breakdown upon hearing his daughter's voice is a pivotal moment in the story. The narrator reflects on her father's grief and the reality that parents are not invincible. She questions how her father could have been deceived by the kidnappers and contemplates the kidnappers' motivations. This leads her to a moment of compassion for the perpetrators and a realization about the choices people make when they feel cornered by life. She encourages viewers to consider where they may be limiting themselves in life due to fear and to take steps towards self-audit, self-discovery, and empowerment.
🧘♀️ Self-Audit and Inner Truth
The narrator emphasizes the importance of a self-audit to understand where one is holding themselves back in life. She encourages viewers to confront the truth about their circumstances and to acknowledge any fears that may be preventing them from pursuing their true desires. She also highlights the role of fear as a necessary survival mechanism but warns against letting it dictate one's life choices. The narrator suggests that by recognizing what feels good, one can align with their authentic self and purpose. She shares her personal journey of success and how it stemmed from following what felt right for her.
💪 Taking Action and Embracing Imperfection
The final paragraph focuses on the importance of taking action to achieve one's goals. The narrator warns against the trap of perfectionism, which often stems from a fear of failure. She advises viewers to engage with their desires by taking steps towards them, emphasizing that clarity comes from engagement rather than overthinking. She suggests using a 'joy journal' to identify patterns in what inspires joy and to leverage these insights to guide one's career path. The narrator concludes by encouraging everyone to make a 'you-turn' towards their true selves, to connect with their truth, body, and joy, and to take action towards the life they truly want.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Kidnapping Scam
💡Fear
💡Power
💡Self-Audit
💡Freedom
💡Gut Instinct
💡Perfectionism
💡Action
💡Compassion
💡Career Coach
💡You-Turn
Highlights
A woman's father receives a distressing phone call from an unknown number, claiming his daughter has been kidnapped.
The father is instructed to withdraw money from the bank and wire it to the kidnappers.
The mother manages to call 911 and discreetly alerts the police about the situation.
The daughter, unaware of the situation, is conducting a podcast interview in Beverly Hills.
The daughter receives a text message from the police, prompting her to call and confirm her safety.
The police intervene at the bank, stopping the father from wiring the ransom money.
The daughter's calm and factual reassurances help confirm her identity to her distraught father.
The realization that the kidnapping was a scam brings immense relief to the family.
The daughter reflects on the emotional trauma experienced by her father during the ordeal.
A self-audit is suggested as the first step towards personal freedom and self-discovery.
The importance of following what feels good and paying attention to one's gut instincts is emphasized.
The concept of a 'joy journal' is introduced as a tool for identifying what truly inspires and brings joy.
Engagement and action are highlighted as essential components for achieving one's goals.
The daughter shares her compassion for the kidnappers, pondering the reasons behind their actions.
The story serves as a metaphor for self-imposed limitations and the power of fear in our lives.
The speech concludes with an empowering message, encouraging individuals to make a 'you-turn' towards their true selves.
The audience is left with a call to action to connect with their truth, bodies, and joy, and to take steps towards personal freedom.
Transcripts
Browse More Related Video
How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF
The Secret That Almost Killed Me | Kirsten Johnson | TEDxSDSU
We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny | TED
"I'm Not Sure I Can Do It" | The Most Common Concern I Hear About | Nursing School | NP School
Three Steps to Transform Your Life | Lena Kay | TEDxNishtiman
Do You See the Signs of the Universe? | Ulla Suokko | TEDxBigSky
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)
Thanks for rating: