Don McMillan Gives His Hilarious Take on Relatable Pet Peeves | AGT 2022

America's Got Talent
9 Aug 202204:04
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe speaker, a comedian with an engineering mindset, takes the stage to discuss the humorous aspects of everyday life through the lens of an engineer. He proposes innovative solutions like cell phone lanes on highways and high-speed traffic lanes with high scores, critiques the inefficiency of optometry signs, and laments the high cost of printer ink in comparison to other liquids. His routine is a blend of wit and satire, highlighting the absurdities and frustrations that engineers often see in the world around them.

Takeaways
  • 🎉 The speaker expresses gratitude for being on stage as a comic and mentions being a fan of the show.
  • 🚗 Engineers are known for always seeking a better way to do things, such as improving carpool and cell phone lanes.
  • 🏎️ A humorous idea is proposed to allot carpool lanes by minimum speed and post high scores and initials.
  • 🪧 The speaker critiques the design of optometry center signs and suggests an improved version to attract more customers.
  • 📱 A survey shows the changing habits of people in the morning, with a majority now checking texts or emails instead of previous routines.
  • 🥇 Nostalgia is expressed for the 'good old days' when people had time for simple morning routines like using the restroom.
  • 😂 A comedic exaggeration is made about changing bed sheets due to accidents, a practice that was more common in the past.
  • 🖨️ The high cost of printer ink is questioned, with comparisons made to the prices of other liquids like human blood and cobra venom.
  • 😵‍💫 A joke is shared about the absurdity of printing with blood to save money, highlighting the expense of printer ink.
  • 🔤 A joke about not seeing any letters in a complex image, suggesting it's a Rorschach test, ends the comedy routine.
Q & A

  • What is the speaker's profession?

    -The speaker is a comedian who also identifies as an engineer.

  • What does the speaker suggest as a better way to organize carpool lanes?

    -The speaker suggests organizing lanes by minimum speed limits, such as 55, 65, 75, and 85 mph, and using the left-hand light for posting high scores and initials.

  • How does the speaker propose to make driving more fun?

    -The speaker proposes the idea of posting high scores and initials on the left-hand light of the car, similar to a game, to make driving more enjoyable.

  • What is the speaker's critique of optometry centers' signs?

    -The speaker criticizes the current signs of optometry centers and suggests that a better sign would attract more customers, even just from walk-up traffic.

  • What survey results does the speaker mention regarding morning routines?

    -The speaker mentions a survey that shows 34% of people check text messages, 23% read email, and 17% post to social media after waking up, contrasting with 97% who would have said they go to the bathroom 20 years ago.

  • What does the speaker find amusing about printer ink prices?

    -The speaker finds it amusing and absurd that printer ink is more expensive than other liquids like human blood, cobra venom, and crude oil, and jokes about printing in blood to save money.

  • How does the speaker compare the cost of printer ink to other liquids?

    -The speaker compares printer ink to human blood, cobra venom, and crude oil, highlighting that printer ink is significantly more expensive than these substances.

  • What is the speaker's humorous solution to the high cost of printer ink?

    -The speaker humorously suggests printing with human blood through an IV connected to their arm, to save money.

  • What does the speaker criticize about the design of certain signs?

    -The speaker criticizes the design of certain signs for being difficult to read, even when sober, and suggests that they could be designed better.

  • What is the speaker's joke about the Rorschach test?

    -The speaker jokes that a certain design looks like a Rorschach test and that an ad should pop up offering help for seeing letters, as it would be difficult to discern any.

Outlines
00:00
🎤 Comic's Introduction and Engineering Humor

The comedian begins with a playful dance and expresses gratitude for being on stage as a comic. They then dive into the theme of how engineers think, always seeking a better way to do things, using examples like carpool and cell phone lanes. The comedian also humorously suggests lane allocation based on minimum speed and the idea of posting high scores and initials, much like a video game. They continue with a joke about seeing a better sign for an optometry center and reflect on the changes in daily routines due to technology, highlighting the shift from basic morning needs to checking texts, emails, and social media. The paragraph concludes with a nostalgic look back at simpler times and a humorous take on the few options people had in the past.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Engineer
An engineer is a professional who applies scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical, societal, and commercial problems. In the video, the comedian portrays engineers as individuals who constantly seek to improve and optimize the world around them, showcasing their inventive spirit through humorous examples such as creating cell phone lanes and reimagining road speed limits based on technology and efficiency. The portrayal highlights the engineering mindset of solving problems and enhancing systems for better functionality.
💡Comedy
Comedy is a genre of performance that aims to entertain and amuse the audience through humor. In this script, the comedian uses comedy to explore the unique perspectives and innovative ideas of engineers, making light of everyday frustrations and proposing whimsical solutions. Comedy serves as a vehicle to engage the audience, allowing for a humorous reflection on technological advancements and societal changes.
💡Optometry Sign
The optometry sign joke in the script is a play on words and visuals to create humor. The comedian suggests an improvement to a standard optometry center sign to make it more effective and humorous by playing with the concept of visibility and readability, which are core to optometry. This joke exemplifies how a mundane object can be creatively reimagined to elicit humor while making a commentary on marketing and design in a way that engineers might appreciate.
💡Printer Ink
Printer ink in the script is highlighted as an exorbitantly expensive commodity, used humorously to discuss the irrationalities in product pricing. The comedian compares the cost of printer ink to other liquids like human blood and cobra venom, emphasizing its unreasonable price. This comparison serves as a critique of consumer goods pricing and the value assigned to commonplace items, resonating with the engineer's tendency to analyze and question efficiency and cost-effectiveness.
💡Carpool Lanes
Carpool lanes are designated traffic lanes for vehicles with multiple passengers, intended to reduce congestion and encourage carpooling. The comedian humorously proposes the concept of 'cell phone lanes' as an improvement, showcasing an engineer's approach to problem-solving by rethinking traffic management to accommodate modern behaviors like cell phone use while driving. This idea reflects the engineering mindset of designing solutions tailored to evolving societal habits and challenges.
💡Tech Peeves
Tech peeves refer to common frustrations and annoyances that people have with technology. The comedian lists these peeves, such as the high cost of printer ink, as examples of everyday challenges that could benefit from ingenious engineering solutions. This part of the script humorously addresses the disconnect between technological advancements and practical usability or affordability, underscoring the engineer's role in bridging these gaps.
💡Social Media
Social media is mentioned in the context of how people's morning routines have evolved with technology. The comedian compares current behaviors, like checking texts or social media, to the simpler times of just getting up to urinate. This contrast humorously highlights how integral technology and social media have become to our daily lives, and how they've changed basic human habits, from an engineer's perspective of observing and adapting to societal changes.
💡Innovation
Innovation in the script is exemplified through the creative and humorous solutions proposed to everyday problems, such as redesigning road lanes or reimagining signs. These examples reflect the core of engineering—innovation aimed at improving efficiency, safety, and quality of life. The comedian uses humor to showcase how engineers think outside the box, making the familiar unfamiliar and the mundane extraordinary.
💡Human Behavior
Human behavior is a key theme, as the comedian explores how technology has influenced daily routines and societal norms. From the way people respond to waking up in the morning to the absurdities of consumer product pricing, the script reflects on the changes in behavior and perceptions brought about by technological advancements. This observation provides a humorous yet insightful commentary on the interaction between human behavior, technology, and engineering solutions.
💡Efficiency
Efficiency is a recurring theme, as the comedian proposes solutions to improve traffic flow, reduce costs, and streamline daily activities. These suggestions reflect an engineer's drive to optimize systems and processes for better performance and user experience. The script uses humor to highlight the often overlooked opportunities for increasing efficiency in everyday life, challenging the audience to think like engineers and seek innovative solutions.
Highlights

The comic expresses gratitude for being on stage, emphasizing the honor of being a comic.

The comic discusses the unique perspective of engineers, always seeking a better way to do things.

A humorous suggestion for cell phone lanes on highways, with a minimum speed requirement and a scoring system for drivers.

The comic's joke about the inefficiency of carpool lanes and a proposed solution to improve them.

A critique on the ineffectiveness of current signs, with a suggestion for a more attention-grabbing sign.

A reflection on societal changes, with a survey showing the increasing importance of technology in daily routines.

A nostalgic look back at the simplicity of mornings before the ubiquity of smartphones.

A humorous anecdote about the high cost of printer ink, comparing it to the price of human blood and other liquids.

The comic's exaggeration of using blood instead of ink to print documents as a cost-saving measure.

A joke about the unintuitive design of a certain typeface, which appears to lack visible letters.

The comic's suggestion that an ad should pop up for people struggling to see letters, satirizing targeted online advertising.

The comic's closing remark, thanking the audience for watching.

The comic's playful engagement with the audience, asking if they see letters in a certain typeface.

A comparison of printer ink to cobra venom and crude oil, highlighting the absurdity of ink prices.

The comic's commentary on the evolution of morning routines and the impact of technology on them.

The comic's joke about the impracticality of changing bed sheets every time someone peed in them, referencing a survey statistic.

The comic's use of a Rorschach test image to poke fun at the lack of visible letters in a typeface.

Transcripts

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Engineering HumorTech SatireTraffic InnovationsOptometry SignageMorning RitualsPrinter Ink CostsLiquid ComparisonsCobra VenomSocial Media HabitsRorschach Test