Overcome social anxiety WITHOUT therapy

Doctor Ali Mattu
21 May 202127:26
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn this episode of the Psych Show, Dr. Ali Mattu discusses social anxiety with a college student named Paul. Paul shares his struggles with social anxiety, particularly in college where he feels isolated and avoids interactions due to intense anxiety. Despite attending campus therapy, Paul finds it insufficient as it lacks the CBT-based approach he needs. Dr. Mattu highlights the impact of social anxiety on Paul's life, causing him to avoid even familiar social situations. They explore the idea of exposure therapy as a potential solution, with Dr. Mattu suggesting starting with low-stakes social interactions to gradually build confidence. The conversation provides insight into the challenges of social anxiety and offers practical steps towards overcoming it.

Takeaways
  • 😨 Social anxiety can lead to isolation as it prevents individuals from taking risks and interacting with others.
  • πŸ€” The individual has been experiencing social anxiety for a significant part of their life, noticing it more actively since September of the previous year.
  • 🏫 The person is attending college and finds the campus therapy unhelpful for their needs, as it is more conversational and lacks the CBT-based approach they are seeking.
  • πŸ‘₯ Social anxiety manifests differently for different people; for the individual, it involves avoiding known people rather than meeting new ones.
  • 🏠 The person's social anxiety affects their daily life, such as avoiding leaving their room due to loud roommates, which can lead to skipping meals.
  • πŸ™Š The individual fears the physical and emotional reactions they experience when confronted with social situations, such as feeling dread and discomfort.
  • πŸ’­ Despite rational understanding that social situations are not threatening, the person struggles to apply this logic during moments of anxiety.
  • πŸ”„ Long-term social anxiety can shape one's perception of the world, increasing the likelihood of perceiving threats and experiencing intense physical sensations.
  • πŸ›  Exposure therapy, a CBT technique, is suggested as a way to help the person face their fears by gradually engaging in anxiety-provoking situations.
  • 🎯 The person identifies a specific relationship with a girl they are interested in as a high-priority area to work on, which could significantly improve their quality of life.
  • πŸ’Œ The fear of saying something wrong or being perceived as creepy or stupid is a significant barrier for the individual in social interactions.
Q & A
  • What is the main issue discussed in the transcript?

    -The main issue discussed in the transcript is social anxiety and its impact on an individual's ability to interact with others and participate in social situations.

  • What is the role of Dr. Ali Matthew in the conversation?

    -Dr. Ali Matthew is a therapist who is providing guidance and support to Paul, the individual struggling with social anxiety.

  • How does Paul describe his experience with social anxiety?

    -Paul describes his experience with social anxiety as pervasive and affecting various relationships, including those with friends, colleagues, teachers, and even close friends. He mentions feeling intense discomfort and avoidance behaviors, such as not wanting to leave his room to avoid encountering his roommates.

  • What was the turning point for Paul in realizing he had social anxiety?

    -The turning point for Paul was a rough night where he had an anxiety attack and ended up sitting alone on his school green, avoiding people he had already seen earlier that night, even though they were not enemies and he liked them.

  • What type of therapy is suggested as a potential solution for Paul's social anxiety?

    -Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), specifically exposure therapy, is suggested as a potential solution for Paul's social anxiety.

  • What is the significance of exposure therapy in treating social anxiety?

    -Exposure therapy is significant in treating social anxiety because it helps individuals face and engage with the situations that provoke their anxiety, allowing them to learn that their fears are not as catastrophic as they perceive them to be.

  • What is Paul's main concern when it comes to expressing himself to the girl he is interested in?

    -Paul's main concern is that he might say something the wrong way, come off as creepy, or look like an idiot, which could lead to rejection or negative gossip about him.

  • How does Dr. Ali Matthew suggest Paul can practice facing his fears?

    -Dr. Ali Matthew suggests that Paul can practice facing his fears by giving authentic compliments to others in lower-stakes situations, such as complimenting a pianist in his building, as a form of exposure therapy.

  • What is the purpose of writing down one's thoughts and fears before engaging in exposure therapy?

    -Writing down one's thoughts and fears before engaging in exposure therapy helps to identify and confront the irrational beliefs and expectations that contribute to anxiety. It also allows for a comparison between the anticipated outcomes and the actual outcomes after the exposure.

  • What additional activities does Dr. Ali Matthew recommend for Paul to practice exposure therapy?

    -Dr. Ali Matthew recommends activities such as paying with the wrong amount of money at a cash register and giving authentic compliments to strangers as ways for Paul to practice exposure therapy and face his social fears in a controlled manner.

Outlines
00:00
😨 Social Anxiety's Impact on College Life

The first paragraph introduces the issue of social anxiety, particularly in the context of college life. The individual, Paul, discusses his struggle with social anxiety that has been affecting him for what feels like his entire life, but only actively acknowledged it since September of the previous year. He experiences heightened anxiety in social situations, even with people he knows, leading to avoidance and isolation. Paul is currently attending therapy on campus, but finds it insufficient as it lacks the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach he needs. His anxiety has tangible effects on his daily life, such as avoiding leaving his room due to loud roommates, which sometimes results in him skipping meals to avoid social interaction.

05:01
πŸ”’ Social Anxiety as a Barrier to Social Interaction

In the second paragraph, the discussion continues with Paul explaining how social anxiety can limit his actions and make him feel trapped. He is afraid of the unknown outcomes when interacting with his roommates, even though rationally he knows the worst-case scenario is unlikely to involve real harm. The conversation highlights how social anxiety can cause people to perceive threats and experience intense physical sensations more readily than others. Paul's long-term struggle with social anxiety has shaped his worldview and made social situations particularly daunting. The therapist explores what Paul's life would be like without these anxieties, emphasizing the importance of being able to engage with others freely.

10:02
πŸ€” Identifying Key Relationships to Improve

The third paragraph delves into identifying specific relationships and situations that could benefit from improvement. Paul mentions a girl he's interested in and has known for a while, suggesting that being able to talk to her without anxiety would significantly improve his life. The paragraph focuses on the fear of saying the wrong thing and being perceived negatively, such as looking foolish or creepy. The conversation explores the idea of exposure therapy as a CBT technique to help Paul gradually face and overcome his fears by being in anxiety-provoking situations.

15:03
πŸ“ Developing Coping Strategies for Social Anxiety

In the fourth paragraph, the discussion turns to coping strategies and the possibility of using different communication methods to express oneself. Paul's concerns about physically getting words out due to a past medical condition and his ADHD, which makes focused writing a challenge, are addressed. The therapist suggests practicing communication in lower-stakes situations as a form of exposure therapy, which could help Paul become more comfortable with expressing himself in higher-stakes situations.

20:04
🎡 Overcoming Social Anxiety Through Small Acts

The fifth paragraph introduces the idea of using small, manageable acts as a form of exposure therapy to combat social anxiety. The focus is on giving compliments as a way to practice social interaction and to gradually become more comfortable with expressing oneself to others. The therapist suggests that complimenting someone on their choice or skill, like a pianist, can be a good first step. The idea is to share authentic thoughts in the moment, which can help build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.

25:05
πŸ›’ Practicing Exposure Therapy in Everyday Situations

The final paragraph discusses practical ways to implement exposure therapy in everyday situations. The therapist suggests intentionally creating scenarios that provoke anxiety, such as paying with the wrong amount of money at a cash register or returning an item immediately after purchase, as a means to face and overcome social fears. Additionally, the idea of giving compliments to strangers for their clothing or interests is proposed as another low-stakes way to practice social interaction. The therapist emphasizes the importance of recording expectations and outcomes to track progress and adjust strategies accordingly.

Mindmap
Keywords
πŸ’‘Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of social situations, leading to avoidance and affecting daily life. In the video, it's the primary issue being discussed, with the interviewee experiencing it to the extent that it isolates them and prevents them from taking chances in social interactions. The theme revolves around understanding and addressing this condition.
πŸ’‘Isolation
Isolation refers to the state of being alone and separated from others. In the context of the video, the interviewee's social anxiety leads to self-imposed isolation as they avoid social situations to prevent the discomfort associated with their anxiety.
πŸ’‘Therapy
Therapy, specifically mentioned as campus therapy, is a form of treatment that aims to help individuals with psychological issues. The interviewee mentions attending therapy but finds it unhelpful for their specific needs, highlighting the importance of tailored therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
πŸ’‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a type of psychological treatment that focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. The interviewee expresses a need for CBT-based therapy, indicating that their current therapy lacks the structure and techniques necessary for addressing their social anxiety.
πŸ’‘Exposure Therapy
Exposure therapy is a therapeutic technique within CBT that involves gradually facing and reducing the fear of a particular situation. The video discusses using exposure therapy to help the interviewee confront their social anxiety by engaging in social situations that provoke anxiety.
πŸ’‘Anxiety Attack
An anxiety attack is a sudden episode of intense fear or discomfort. The interviewee describes having an anxiety attack that led to the recognition of their social anxiety as a significant problem affecting their life.
πŸ’‘Avoidance
Avoidance is a behavior where an individual steers clear of certain situations due to fear or discomfort. In the script, the interviewee's social anxiety results in avoidance behaviors, such as not wanting to see people they know or leaving their room to avoid encountering roommates.
πŸ’‘Authentic Compliments
Authentic compliments are sincere expressions of praise directed towards someone for their actions or choices. The video suggests giving authentic compliments as a form of exposure therapy to help the interviewee practice social interactions and confront their fear of negative judgment.
πŸ’‘Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is the apprehension of being disliked or dismissed by others. The interviewee is afraid that expressing their feelings to a girl they are interested in might lead to rejection, which is a common concern for individuals with social anxiety.
πŸ’‘ADHD
ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. The interviewee mentions having ADHD, which adds another layer of complexity to their struggles with social anxiety and communication.
Highlights

Social anxiety can cause a high perceived likelihood of negative outcomes, leading to avoidance and isolation.

Paul is seeking help for social anxiety at college, finding campus therapy insufficient for his needs.

Paul has been experiencing social anxiety for a significant part of his life, noticing it more actively since September of the previous year.

Anxiety attacks can be triggered by a buildup of small inconveniences, leading to avoidance behaviors like sitting alone to escape social contact.

Social anxiety manifests differently for different people, affecting interactions with known individuals and authority figures.

Paul's social anxiety is particularly acute with people he knows, causing discomfort and avoidance even with close friends.

Avoidance behaviors due to social anxiety can result in self-imposed isolation, such as skipping meals to avoid social interaction.

The fear associated with social anxiety can be irrational, with the body and mind reacting strongly even when no real threat is present.

Long-term social anxiety can shape one's perception of the world, increasing the likelihood of perceiving threats and experiencing physical symptoms.

Exposure therapy, a CBT technique, is suggested as a way to help overcome social anxiety by gradually facing and reducing fear through controlled social interactions.

Identifying and improving a key relationship can have a significant positive impact on one's social anxiety and overall life.

Paul's fear of expressing himself to a girl he's interested in stems from a fear of appearing foolish or being perceived as creepy.

Rehearsing and practicing social interactions can help alleviate anxiety, but may feel unnatural or forced to some individuals.

Engaging in lower-stakes social interactions, such as giving compliments, can serve as a form of exposure therapy for social anxiety.

Paul considers giving compliments to others, such as a pianist in his building, as a starting point for practicing social interactions.

The act of giving authentic compliments can help build connections and reduce social anxiety over time.

Memory science and clinical psychology suggest documenting expectations and outcomes of social interactions to learn and adjust perceptions.

Paul is encouraged to practice exposure therapy in various situations to gather more experiences and data to combat his fears.

A guide on how to do exposure therapy is recommended for Paul to further aid in his journey to overcome social anxiety.

Transcripts
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