How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity

How to ADHD
25 Aug 202009:28
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe video script discusses the concept of rejection sensitivity (RS) and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) in individuals with ADHD. It differentiates RSD, a term specific to the ADHD community but not recognized in the DSM, from RS, a broader psychiatric condition linked to ADHD. The script highlights the intense emotional pain and defensive reactions triggered by perceived rejection, its impact on social interactions, and coping strategies like the 4 R's to manage these emotions effectively.

Takeaways
  • 🤔 Rejection sensitivity (RS) and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) are terms used in the ADHD community to describe intense reactions to perceived rejection.
  • 🧠 RSD, coined by Dr. William Dodson, is not widely recognized as it's not in the DSM and lacks scientific research.
  • 📚 RS, however, is a recognized phenomenon in ADHD and other psychiatric conditions, and is backed by research.
  • 👥 ADHD individuals often struggle with social preferences and friendships, leading to a history of rejection.
  • 💔 The pain of rejection sensitivity is very real, triggering intense emotional responses and defensive behaviors.
  • 🛑 The 4 R's tool was developed to help manage RS: Recognize emotional state, Respond with appropriate strategies, Reflect on the situation, and Reframe thoughts.
  • 🌟 Recognizing emotional intensity involves checking in with one's body for signs of heightened emotions.
  • 🚦 Responding strategically involves different actions depending on the level of emotional intensity: green (normal), yellow (heightened), or red (fight, flight, or freeze).
  • 🤯 In the red zone, it's crucial to use practiced strategies for safety and to avoid making decisions or engaging in conflict.
  • 🔄 Reflecting and reframing helps challenge initial thoughts that may be influenced by cognitive distortions and past experiences.
  • 📈 Working with a therapist and using resources like CBT and DBT workbooks can aid in managing and understanding RS.
Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the video?

    -The main topic of the video is rejection sensitivity (RS) and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) in individuals with ADHD.

  • Who created the term 'rejection sensitive dysphoria' and how does Dr. William Dodson define it?

    -Dr. William Dodson created the term 'rejection sensitive dysphoria' and defines it as a triggered, wordless emotional pain that occurs after a real or perceived loss of approval, love, or respect.

  • Why might doctors be unfamiliar with RSD?

    -Doctors might be unfamiliar with RSD because it is not included in the DSM, and there is a lack of scientific studies on the subject.

  • How is rejection sensitivity defined in the context of ADHD?

    -Rejection sensitivity in the context of ADHD is defined as the tendency to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely react to rejection.

  • What other psychiatric conditions are associated with rejection sensitivity?

    -Rejection sensitivity is associated with several psychiatric conditions, including social anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and body dysmorphia.

  • What challenges do children with ADHD face in terms of social preference and friendships?

    -Children with ADHD are often rated lower on social preference, are less well-liked, more often rejected, more likely to be designated 'non-friends' by their peers, and have fewer reciprocal friends, with up to 70% having no close friends by third grade.

  • How does rejection sensitivity affect an individual's behavior and decision-making?

    -Rejection sensitivity can lead to people-pleasing, avoidance of situations where rejection is possible, and reluctance to ask for things like raises or invitations due to the fear of rejection.

  • What is the 4 R’s tool created by Caroline Maguire and how does it help?

    -The 4 R’s tool is a strategy to help cope with rejection sensitivity by recognizing emotional intensity, responding with appropriate strategies, reflecting on the situation, and reframing thoughts to consider other explanations for perceived rejection.

  • What are some examples of strategies for dealing with heightened emotions in the green, yellow, and red zones?

    -In the green zone, one can engage in situations with potential rejection or practice self-care. In the yellow zone, strategies like asking for clarification, focusing on breathing, or walking around can help. In the red zone, it's important to use practiced strategies that promote safety and calming, such as cuddling a pet or meditating.

  • How can cognitive distortions affect our perception of rejection?

    -Cognitive distortions like emotional reasoning and personalization can lead us to incorrectly interpret situations as rejections, reinforcing our sensitivity and affecting how we anticipate and react to future situations.

  • What additional resources are suggested for individuals dealing with rejection sensitivity?

    -Working with a therapist, using CBT and DBT workbooks, and referring to a printable reference card with the 4 Rs and personal strategies are suggested resources for dealing with rejection sensitivity.

Outlines
00:00
🤔 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in ADHD

This paragraph introduces the concept of rejection sensitivity and its impact on individuals with ADHD. It differentiates between 'rejection sensitive dysphoria' (RSD) and 'rejection sensitivity' (RS), explaining that RSD is a term specific to the ADHD community but not yet recognized in the DSM, while RS is a broader concept associated with various psychiatric conditions. The speaker shares personal experiences of intense sensitivity to rejection, highlighting the emotional and social challenges faced by those with ADHD. The paragraph emphasizes the validity of these experiences and the need for further research, despite the lack of scientific studies on RSD.

05:02
🌟 Coping Strategies for Rejection Sensitivity

The second paragraph focuses on coping mechanisms for dealing with rejection sensitivity, as proposed by Caroline Maguire. It outlines the 4 R's strategy: Recognize emotional intensity, Respond with appropriate strategies, Reflect on the situation, and Reframe thoughts to avoid cognitive distortions. The speaker discusses the importance of understanding one's emotional state and suggests various techniques for managing heightened emotions, such as seeking clarification, breathing exercises, and physical activities. The paragraph also emphasizes the value of reflection and reframing to challenge initial thoughts of rejection and to develop healthier responses to potentially triggering situations.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Rejection Sensitivity
Rejection Sensitivity (RS) refers to a heightened emotional response to perceived rejection, which is a common issue for individuals with ADHD. In the context of the video, it is associated with intense emotional pain following a real or perceived loss of approval, love, or respect. The video emphasizes that while RS is not exclusive to ADHD, it is a significant factor in the ADHD community and is linked to a history of repeated rejections, affecting social interactions and personal well-being.
💡Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a term specific to the ADHD community, describing a triggered, wordless emotional pain after a perceived loss of social connection. Unlike RS, RSD is purported to be unique to individuals with ADHD. However, the video points out that RSD is not recognized in the DSM and lacks scientific research, making it a controversial concept within the medical community.
💡ADHD
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. In the video, ADHD is discussed in relation to emotional regulation difficulties and the heightened experience of rejection sensitivity, which can significantly impact social interactions and personal experiences of individuals with the condition.
💡Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in a socially acceptable and goal-oriented manner. In the context of the video, individuals with ADHD often struggle with emotional regulation, which exacerbates their sensitivity to rejection and can lead to intense emotional reactions.
💡Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by a persistent fear of social situations and potential negative evaluation by others. The video connects social anxiety to rejection sensitivity, as individuals with social anxiety may anxiously anticipate and perceive rejection, leading to avoidance of social situations.
💡Caroline Maguire
Caroline Maguire is an author and expert who has contributed to the understanding of ADHD and social issues related to it. In the video, she is credited with creating the '4 R’s' tool to help individuals cope with rejection sensitivity, offering strategies for recognizing, responding, reflecting, and reframing emotional experiences.
💡4 R’s
The '4 R’s' is a coping strategy outlined in the video for dealing with rejection sensitivity. It stands for Recognize, Respond, Reflect, and Reframe. This tool is designed to help individuals understand their emotional intensity, choose appropriate responses, reflect on the situation to challenge initial thoughts, and reframe their perspective to reduce the impact of rejection sensitivity.
💡Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions are irrational or exaggerated thought patterns that can lead to negative emotions and behaviors. In the context of the video, these distortions can result in an intensified perception of rejection, influencing how individuals with ADHD interpret social interactions.
💡Therapy
Therapy, as mentioned in the video, refers to the process of working with a mental health professional to address and treat psychological issues. It is suggested as a resource for individuals struggling with rejection sensitivity to better understand and manage their emotional responses.
💡Self-Validation
Self-validation is the process of acknowledging and accepting one's feelings and experiences as valid, without seeking external approval or validation. In the video, self-validation is presented as a technique to counteract the self-esteem damage caused by past rejections and to develop a healthier self-concept.
💡Social Skills
Social skills are the abilities required to interact effectively with others, including communication, empathy, and understanding social cues. The video suggests that learning and improving social skills can help reduce the risk of rejection and improve social interactions for individuals with ADHD and high rejection sensitivity.
Highlights

Rejection sensitivity is a significant issue for individuals with ADHD.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is a term specific to the ADHD community, describing a triggered emotional pain after a perceived loss of approval.

RSD is not recognized in the DSM and lacks scientific research validation.

Rejection sensitivity (RS) is a broader term associated with various psychiatric conditions, including ADHD.

RS is linked to difficulties in emotional regulation and a history of repeated rejections.

Children with ADHD often face social rejection and may lack close friendships.

The speaker's personal experiences illustrate the impact of rejection sensitivity.

Rejection sensitivity can lead to intense emotional reactions and defensive behaviors.

The 4 R’s tool was created to help cope with rejection sensitivity.

Recognizing one's emotional state is the first step in the 4 R’s strategy.

Responding with appropriate strategies depends on the intensity of emotions.

In the green zone, engage in situations with potential rejection or practice self-care.

In the yellow zone, use calming strategies to maintain control and prevent escalation.

In the red zone, employ safety strategies until emotions are manageable.

Reflect and reframe to challenge initial thoughts and cognitive distortions.

Working with a therapist can be beneficial for managing rejection sensitivity.

Social skills can be learned to reduce the risk of future rejections.

The speaker is actively working on self-validation and addressing past rejections.

Transcripts

Browse More Related Video

Defining Features of ADHD That Everyone Overlooks: RSD, Hyperarousal, More (w/ Dr. William Dodson)

ADD/ADHD | What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

Adult ADHD | Inattentive

ADHD & Time Blindness

What If You Take ADHD Drugs But You Don’t Have ADHD?

Assessment of ADHD in Adults: Methods and Issues

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Thanks for rating:

Related Tags
ADHDRejection SensitivityEmotional RegulationSocial ChallengesMental HealthCognitive DistortionsTherapy ToolsSelf-ValidationCaroline Maguire