Adopting from foster care | 12 surprising things you can’t do with foster care kids

Lucrece Bundy
23 Sept 202016:12
EducationalLearning
32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRIn this informative video, adoption attorney Lucrece Bundy outlines 12 surprising restrictions foster parents face, such as not sharing children's photos on social media, not disclosing family history, and restrictions on sleepovers and vacations. She also covers mandatory vaccinations, the process for enrolling foster children in activities, and the prohibition against co-sleeping. The video aims to prepare prospective foster parents for the unique challenges and joys of fostering, emphasizing the importance of respecting the child's identity and the rules of the foster care system.

Takeaways
  • 🤳 Don't Share: Foster parents are prohibited from sharing their foster children's pictures or names on social media to protect their identity.
  • 📚 Privacy First: Foster children's family history should not be shared with friends and family to maintain privacy and confidentiality.
  • 🛌 Sleepover No-Go: Foster children cannot go on sleepovers or to camps without thorough approval and background checks for all involved adults.
  • ✂️ Hair Care: Foster parents need permission to give a foster child a dramatic haircut, as it might affect the child's identity and relationship with their biological parents.
  • 💉 Vaccination Required: Foster parents must vaccinate their foster children as per state rules, regardless of their personal views on vaccinations.
  • 🏃‍♂️ Permission Needed for Activities: Enrolling foster children in after-school activities or sports requires permission, especially for activities that may pose risks of injury.
  • 🚫 Vacation Limitations: Taking foster children on vacation, especially overseas, is highly restricted due to safety and legal considerations.
  • 🛌 Co-Sleeping Not Allowed: Co-sleeping with foster children is not permitted to prevent any potential allegations of improper conduct.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 'Mom' and 'Dad' Not Used: Foster children should not address their foster parents as 'mom' or 'dad' to maintain a clear distinction for the child's understanding of their family situation.
  • 🚫 No Piercing Without Consent: Foster parents cannot let their foster children get their ears pierced without necessary permissions, respecting the child's body autonomy.
  • 🚫 No Decisions on Birth Control or Abortion: Decisions regarding birth control or abortion for foster children must involve the biological parents and cannot be made unilaterally by the foster parents.
  • 🚫 Moving Restrictions: Foster parents cannot move out of state with a foster child; the child must remain in the state where the case was opened until legal adoption is finalized.
Q & A

  • Why can't foster parents share their foster child's pictures or names on social media?

    -Foster parents cannot share their foster child's pictures or names on social media to protect the child's identity due to the sensitive nature of their situation and the requirements of state regulations across the U.S.

  • What is the reason behind not sharing a foster child's family history with others?

    -Sharing a foster child's family history with others is prohibited to maintain privacy and confidentiality, as only those directly involved in the child's case are allowed to have access to such information.

  • Why is it necessary to have background checks for all adults living in a foster home?

    -Background checks are required to ensure the safety of the foster child, as any adult the child is allowed to be around must be approved and vetted by the foster care agency.

  • What are the restrictions on enrolling foster children in after-school activities or sports?

    -Permission from the foster care agency and often the biological parents is required before enrolling a foster child in after-school activities or sports, especially for activities that could potentially be dangerous.

  • Why can't foster parents take their foster children on vacation or overseas?

    -Foster parents are generally not allowed to take their foster children on vacation or overseas due to the complex legal and safety considerations involved, as well as the potential disruption to the child's case.

  • What is the policy on co-sleeping with foster children?

    -Co-sleeping with foster children is not allowed to prevent any allegations of improper conduct and to maintain the safety and well-being of the child.

  • Why can't foster children call their foster parents 'mom' and 'dad'?

    -Foster children are discouraged from calling their foster parents 'mom' and 'dad' to avoid confusion and to respect the biological parents' roles in the child's life, which is important for potential reunification.

  • What is the rule regarding piercing the ears of foster children?

    -Foster parents are not allowed to get their foster children's ears pierced without proper permission, as it involves making a decision that could affect the child's body.

  • Why can't foster parents provide their foster children with birth control or consent to an abortion?

    -Foster parents cannot provide birth control or consent to an abortion for their foster children without the biological parents' permission, as these are significant medical decisions that involve the child's body and future.

  • What are the implications of moving out of state with a foster child?

    -Foster parents cannot move out of state with their foster child because the child must remain in the state where the case was opened. Moving a foster child out of state is only possible after legal adoption and recognition as the child's parents.

  • What is the importance of vaccinating foster children as per state requirements?

    -Vaccinating foster children is a state requirement that foster parents must adhere to, regardless of their personal beliefs, to ensure the health and well-being of the foster child.

Outlines
00:00
🚫 Social Media Restrictions for Foster Kids

In this introductory paragraph, Lucrece Bundy, an adoption attorney, sets the stage for a video discussing the 12 surprising things one cannot do with foster children. The first restriction highlighted is the prohibition against sharing foster children's names or pictures on social media platforms to protect their identities. This is a universal rule across all states and is crucial due to the sensitive nature of foster care.

05:02
📚 Privacy Concerns: Foster Child's History and Activities

The second paragraph delves into the privacy of foster children's family history and the restrictions on sharing it with others. It also addresses the limitations on allowing foster children to participate in activities like sleepovers or camps without proper approval and background checks. The paragraph emphasizes the need for foster parents to work closely with caseworkers and agencies to ensure the safety and well-being of the foster children in their care.

10:03
💇‍♂️ & 🏥 Foster Care Restrictions on Personal Care and Medical Decisions

This paragraph outlines specific restrictions on personal care decisions for foster children, such as not being allowed to make dramatic changes to their appearance, including haircuts, without permission. It also touches on the mandatory vaccination policy for foster children, which is a state requirement that foster parents must adhere to, regardless of their personal views on vaccinations. The paragraph underscores the importance of communication with caseworkers and obtaining necessary approvals for any significant decisions affecting foster children.

15:04
🏠 Travel, Co-Sleeping, and Parental Role Boundaries in Foster Care

The fourth paragraph covers various restrictions related to travel with foster children, including the difficulty of taking them on vacation or moving out of state. It also addresses the prohibition of co-sleeping arrangements and the emotional challenge of not allowing foster children to refer to their foster parents as 'mom' and 'dad'. The paragraph highlights the need to maintain professional boundaries and the importance of keeping the biological parents involved in major decisions affecting the child's life.

🚫 Final Restrictions on Foster Care: Piercing, Contraception, and Moving

In the final paragraph, Lucrece Bundy discusses the last few restrictions for foster parents, including not allowing foster children to get their ears pierced, not providing them with birth control or consenting to an abortion without the biological parents' permission, and the inability to move out of state with a foster child. The paragraph concludes with a reminder that foster care is a temporary arrangement designed to support the child's return to their biological family or adoption, and foster parents must respect the rules and processes in place.

Mindmap
Keywords
💡Foster Care
Foster care is a system in which a minor has been placed into a ward, group home, or private home of a certified caregiver, referred to as a 'foster parent'. In the context of the video, foster care is the primary theme as it discusses the rules and restrictions that foster parents must follow when caring for foster children. The script mentions the challenges and joys of being a foster parent and the state regulations that govern their actions.
💡Adoption Attorney
An adoption attorney is a legal professional who specializes in adoption law, assisting families in the process of finalizing adoptions. In the video, the speaker identifies herself as an adoption attorney, indicating her expertise in the field and her ability to provide advice on the legal aspects of foster care and adoption.
💡Confidentiality
Confidentiality refers to the protection of information that could potentially identify an individual without their permission. The script emphasizes the importance of not sharing foster children's names or pictures on social media to maintain their privacy and protect their identity, which is a key aspect of confidentiality in foster care.
💡Caseworker
A caseworker is a professional who works for social service agencies and is responsible for managing cases of individuals, such as foster children, ensuring their welfare and coordinating services. The video mentions caseworkers as the individuals with whom foster parents must communicate and get approval for certain actions concerning the foster children.
💡Sleepover
A sleepover is a social gathering where guests sleep at the host's residence, often associated with children's parties. The script explains that foster parents cannot allow their foster children to go on sleepovers due to safety and supervision concerns, as any adult the child interacts with must be approved and background-checked.
💡Vaccination
Vaccination is the administration of vaccines to create immunity to infectious diseases. The video states that foster parents are required by state rules to vaccinate their foster children, regardless of their personal beliefs about vaccinations, highlighting the mandatory nature of immunization in foster care.
💡Co-sleeping
Co-sleeping refers to the practice where a parent sleeps in the same bed with their child. The script mentions that co-sleeping is not allowed with foster children to prevent any potential allegations of improper conduct, underscoring the need for maintaining boundaries in foster care relationships.
💡Termination of Parental Rights
Termination of parental rights is a legal process that permanently ends the rights of a parent to their child, often a precursor to adoption. The video implies that before a foster child can move out of state with a foster family, the parents' rights must be terminated and the foster family must legally adopt the child.
💡Biological Parents
Biological parents are the individuals who have given birth to a child. The script frequently refers to the importance of involving biological parents in decisions regarding the foster child's life, such as permission for certain activities or medical procedures, recognizing their ongoing role despite the child being in foster care.
💡After-school Activities
After-school activities are organized events or programs that children participate in outside of regular school hours. The video mentions that foster parents need permission from the foster care agency and the biological parents to enroll foster children in after-school activities, emphasizing the collaborative decision-making process in foster care.
💡Reunification
Reunification in the context of foster care refers to the process of returning a child to their biological family. The script discusses how some foster families may work against reunification if they wish to keep the child, which can lead to conflicts and is generally against the goal of foster care to support the child's return to their family when possible.
Highlights

Foster parents are prohibited from sharing their foster children's pictures or names on social media to protect their identity.

Discussing a foster child's family history with non-involved parties is not allowed to maintain privacy and confidentiality.

Foster children require approval and background checks for any adult they interact with, including during sleepovers or camps.

Foster parents need permission to make significant changes to a foster child's appearance, such as dramatic haircuts.

Vaccination is mandatory for foster children, regardless of the parents' personal beliefs.

Enrolling foster children in after-school activities, especially potentially dangerous ones, requires agency and biological parent approval.

Taking foster children on vacation or overseas trips is highly restricted due to safety and legal considerations.

Co-sleeping with foster children is not allowed to prevent any potential allegations of improper conduct.

Foster children are not to address their foster parents as 'mom' and 'dad' to maintain a clear distinction for the child.

Piercing foster children's ears is not permitted without proper consent and approval.

Foster parents cannot provide or agree to birth control or abortion for foster children without biological parents' consent.

Moving out of state with a foster child is not allowed; the child must remain in the state where the case was opened.

The importance of foster parents getting used to not sharing their foster children's information or images on social media.

The necessity for foster parents to understand the rules around sharing a foster child's personal history and the implications of doing so.

The challenges foster parents face in allowing foster children to participate in activities like sleepovers or camps, and the need for approvals.

The strict regulations around altering a foster child's appearance, emphasizing the need for communication with caseworkers and agencies.

The mandatory vaccination policy for foster children and the importance of foster parents adhering to state rules.

The complexities of enrolling foster children in activities and the importance of considering the child's biological parents' involvement.

Transcripts

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