A Former Foster Youth | Athena Garcia-Gunn | TEDxMtSAC
TLDRAthena, a former foster youth, shares her harrowing journey of loss, trauma, and survival, detailing the challenges faced in a dysfunctional family and the foster care system. Despite experiencing severe PTSD and numerous foster home transfers, she emphasizes the importance of healing and self-discovery in defining success. Her story highlights the need for mental health support and a reevaluation of what constitutes success for foster youth, advocating for a more compassionate approach to their well-being.
Takeaways
- 😢 Athena's story begins with the tragic loss of her mother at a young age, which led to a cascade of family dysfunction and trauma.
- 👨👧👦 The absence of her mother resulted in her father's descent into depression, drug dealing, and alcoholism, neglecting his children and leading to their emotional and physical abandonment.
- 🚷 Athena experienced severe trauma, including rape by neighbors, which was a continuous violation due to her father's neglect.
- 🏠 She took on the role of a parental figure to her siblings, dropping out of school to care for them and resorting to begging for food and doing errands for neighbors.
- 📸 Athena strategically entered the foster care system by documenting the neglect and abuse in her family, hoping for a better life.
- 🏡 Despite the promise of care, Athena faced instability in the foster system, moving through eight homes in six years and enduring additional mental abuse.
- 😔 The foster care system failed to address Athena's mental health adequately, treating her as a liability and not providing the necessary support for emotional well-being.
- 📖 Athena had to reenter society and catch up academically after dropping out of school, which was a significant struggle for her.
- 🧩 The trauma and PTSD from her past continued to haunt Athena, making it difficult for her to feel normal or whole.
- 🤝 Athena found solace and healing through therapy, learning to cope with her anxiety, stress, and trauma, which was a crucial step in her journey towards success.
- 🌟 Success for Athena is not a single solution but a continuous pursuit of happiness and healing, despite the challenges she has faced.
Q & A
What was the primary reason Athena's family lost their cultural and religious ties after her mother's death?
-Athena's mother was the anchor and core of their family, providing the culture, religion, and history. When she died during childbirth, the family lost not only her but also these important aspects of their identity.
How did Athena's father cope with the loss of his wife, and what impact did it have on his children?
-Athena's father turned to drug dealing and alcoholism to cope with his grief, which led to him neglecting his children completely. This neglect resulted in the children being emotionally abandoned and physically treated as a nuisance.
At what age was Athena first raped, and by whom?
-Athena was first raped at the age of nine by two neighbor brothers, who were 17 and 18 years old at the time.
Why did Athena drop out of school to raise her siblings?
-Athena dropped out of school because she felt the responsibility to take care of her siblings after her father's neglect and abandonment, effectively becoming a parent to them.
How did Athena's father manage to avoid being caught by the authorities despite the abuse reports filed by neighbors and relatives?
-Athena's father was adept at covering his tracks by moving the family frequently, which made it difficult for authorities to establish a pattern of abuse.
What strategies did Athena use to get her family into the foster care system?
-Athena strategically photographed their daily lives, including drug use, collected receipts, and made numerous abuse reports to document the neglect and abuse they were experiencing.
How many foster homes did Athena live in during her six years in the system?
-Athena lived in a total of eight foster homes over the course of six years.
What was the emotional impact of entering the foster care system on Athena?
-Entering the foster care system allowed Athena to have her basic needs met, but it also brought on a new set of emotional challenges as she was suddenly able to feel the stress and trauma from her past.
How did the foster care system's approach to Athena's mental health contribute to her feelings of instability and disposability?
-The foster care system treated Athena's mental health as a checkbox item rather than addressing it comprehensively, which made her feel more unstable and like she was disposable.
What event prompted Athena to seek therapy for her PTSD and trauma?
-Athena sought therapy after experiencing an intense fear of vulnerability when someone tried to give her a hug, which led to a breakdown and realization that she needed to heal.
How does Athena define success for a former foster youth, and what was her personal journey towards it?
-Athena defines success as taking the hand life has dealt and choosing to move forward, pursuing happiness, and doing what makes one happy. Her personal journey involved healing from trauma, building a life despite her past, and maintaining relationships with her siblings.
Outlines
😢 Loss and Trauma: Athena's Foster Care Journey
Athena, a former foster youth, shares her story of loss and trauma, beginning with the death of her mother during childbirth when she was seven. This event led to a cascade of family dysfunction, including her father's descent into drug dealing and alcoholism, resulting in the emotional and physical abandonment of Athena and her siblings. Experiencing severe neglect, Athena was raped by neighbors at the age of nine, an incident that was not isolated but part of an ongoing abusive relationship. Despite the trauma, she took on the role of a parent to her younger siblings, often resorting to begging for food and doing errands for neighbors in exchange for tips. Athena's life was marked by constant instability, both physically due to frequent moves, and emotionally due to the ongoing trauma and neglect.
😔 System Entry and Ongoing Struggles
Athena's entry into the foster care system was a strategic move to escape the life-threatening conditions at home. She documented evidence of abuse and neglect, which eventually led to her and her siblings being taken into care. However, the system itself brought new challenges. Athena suffered from PTSD, anxiety, and depression, and the constant moving between foster homes added to her feelings of instability. The foster care system, while providing for her basic needs, also subjected her to mental abuse and a sense of being disposable. Despite the system's promises of care, Athena felt more unstable and was treated as a liability rather than with the compassion and support she needed.
😖 Healing and the Pursuit of Success
After graduating high school at 17, Athena reached a critical point in her struggle with PTSD and trauma. Therapy became a crucial part of her healing process, where she learned to cope with her anxiety, handle stress, and confront her past traumas. She emphasizes the high cost of success and its subjective nature, as she and other former foster youth grapple with feelings of invisibility, cultural loss, and the internal battle of identity. For Athena, success began with healing and the decision to build a life despite her past. She questions the system's definition of success and calls for a reevaluation of what it means to be successful for former foster youth, many of whom leave the system without a solid foundation and face ongoing challenges in their pursuit of happiness and stability.
🙌 Choosing Happiness: Defining Success on One's Own Terms
In her conclusion, Athena reflects on the concept of success, suggesting that it is not a one-size-fits-all notion but rather a personal journey of moving forward despite adversity. She acknowledges the applause from her audience, indicating a recognition of her resilience and the power of her story. Athena's definition of success is about the pursuit of happiness and doing what makes one happy, challenging the traditional measures of success and advocating for a more individualized and compassionate understanding of what it means to thrive after a traumatic past.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Foster Care
💡Trauma
💡Survival Mode
💡PTSD
💡Neglect
💡Dissociation
💡Therapy
💡Success
💡Invisibility
💡Healing
💡Stability
Highlights
Athena's story begins with the loss of her mother at a young age, leading to cultural and familial disintegration.
Her father's descent into depression and drug dealing resulted in emotional and physical abandonment.
Athena's childhood was marked by continuous trauma, including sexual abuse by neighbors.
She and her siblings essentially raised themselves, enduring pain and hunger due to their father's neglect.
Athena took strategic steps to enter the foster care system to escape the abusive environment.
Upon entering foster care, Athena experienced a new level of instability and mental health challenges.
She faced the harsh reality of the foster care system's lack of support for emotional well-being.
Athena's journey through eight foster homes in six years exemplifies the system's instability.
The foster care system's premise of care often led to further trauma and feelings of disposability.
Athena's struggle with PTSD and the impact of trauma on her daily life post-foster care.
Her decision to seek therapy to cope with anxiety, stress, and to deconstruct her trauma.
Athena's realization that healing and emotional well-being are crucial for moving forward.
The concept that success for a former foster youth is relative and multifaceted, not just material stability.
Athena's personal definition of success as healing, building a life, and finding happiness.
The importance of questioning societal definitions of success for individuals with complex pasts.
A call to action for a reevaluation of how we support and define success for former foster youth.
Athena's powerful message on the pursuit of happiness and the resilience of the human spirit.
Transcripts
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