How to stop feeling anxious about anxiety | Tim Box | TEDxFolkestone

TEDx Talks
14 Oct 201918:17
EducationalLearning
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TLDRIn this insightful talk, Tim Box shares his personal journey with anxiety, moving from a place of suffering to one of understanding and acceptance. He challenges the common misconception that anxiety is an illness and instead frames it as a vital emotion with a purpose. Box uses the analogy of a ship with a captain and crew to illustrate how anxiety serves as a signal from our subconscious, urging us to pay attention to what truly matters. He emphasizes the importance of listening to and being kind to oneself, as self-criticism can demoralize and exacerbate anxiety. By reframing anxiety as a trusted friend rather than an enemy, Box encourages viewers to accept and work with their anxiety, ultimately leading to a healthier relationship with this natural human emotion.

Takeaways
  • 😌 Anxiety is a natural emotion meant to signal that something is worth our attention.
  • 🚫 The speaker, Tim Box, used to suffer from anxiety but no longer does, illustrating that change is possible.
  • πŸ€” Avoidance and distraction were Tim's initial strategies for dealing with anxiety, but they were ineffective.
  • πŸ”„ The speaker works with anxiety sufferers, emphasizing that understanding and overcoming anxiety is a learned process.
  • 🌐 If everyone were free of anxiety, it would impact social interactions, career ambitions, and relationships.
  • πŸ’€ Two groups that don't feel anxiety are the deceased and psychopaths, suggesting that anxiety is a part of being alive and human.
  • πŸ₯ Doctors are often ill-equipped to deal with anxiety due to time constraints, lack of specialized knowledge, and limited resources.
  • πŸ’Š Medication can be a short-term solution for anxiety but comes with potential side effects and risks of dependency.
  • 🧠 Anxiety is not an illness but an emotion with a purpose, and it's important to understand its role in our lives.
  • 🚒 Tim uses the analogy of a ship to explain how our subconscious (crew) and conscious (captain) work together to navigate life.
  • πŸ’¬ Listening to and understanding the subconscious messages behind anxiety can help transform it from an enemy to a friend.
  • 🀝 Being kind to oneself and building self-esteem can help reduce anxiety and improve overall well-being.
Q & A
  • What does Tim Box initially express about his feelings of anxiety?

    -Tim Box starts by sharing his feelings of anxiety regarding remembering what he came to say, the agreement of the audience with his message, and even the fear of tripping on the rug while leaving.

  • How has Tim's relationship with anxiety evolved over time?

    -Tim used to suffer from severe anxiety that would prevent him from performing simple tasks like walking into a room full of people. However, he has since learned to not suffer with anxiety but to experience it without letting it control his life.

  • What was Tim's initial approach to dealing with anxiety?

    -Initially, Tim tried to avoid anxiety-inducing situations, ran away when he felt anxiety starting, and used distraction techniques to take his mind off the uncomfortable feeling.

  • What does Tim Box suggest is the common mistake people make when trying to deal with anxiety?

    -Tim suggests that the common mistake people make is trying to get rid of anxiety, which is not the solution. Instead, he believes one should understand and work with it.

  • What role does Tim Box believe anxiety plays in our lives?

    -Tim Box believes that anxiety is important as it signals when something is worth our attention. It's a feeling that helps us recognize the value of certain actions and decisions in our lives.

  • According to Tim, what are the two groups of people who do not feel anxiety?

    -Tim mentions two groups: dead people, who obviously do not feel anything, and psychopaths, who lack the ability to have concern for the consequences of their actions.

  • What is Tim's view on the medical approach to treating anxiety?

    -Tim is not a fan of medicating anxiety. He believes that a medical solution to a non-medical problem will not solve it but will only provide a temporary patch.

  • What analogy does Tim Box use to explain our emotional responses?

    -Tim uses the analogy of a ship with a captain and crew to explain emotional responses. The captain represents the logical, rational part of our mind, while the crew represents the subconscious, which controls automatic responses, including emotions.

  • What does Tim suggest is the best way to interact with our subconscious mind?

    -Tim suggests that the best way to interact with our subconscious mind is to listen to it, understand its messages, and respond with kindness and positivity.

  • What three main things did Tim Box do to help reduce his anxiety?

    -Tim Box stopped believing he was ill, started listening to his subconscious mind to understand what it was trying to communicate, and made a conscious effort to always be kind to himself.

  • What is Tim's perspective on the common views that anxiety is a mental illness or 'all in your head'?

    -Tim believes that both views are unhelpful and incorrect. He suggests that anxiety is real and a natural part of the human experience, and it can be changed once accepted and treated as a friend rather than an enemy.

Outlines
00:00
😨 Embracing Anxiety: A Personal Journey

Tim Box introduces himself and candidly discusses his personal experience with anxiety. He admits to feeling anxious about various aspects of his presentation, yet acknowledges that this anxiety is rational and understandable. Tim reflects on his past, where anxiety was debilitating to the point of avoiding social situations. He contrasts this with his current state, where he no longer suffers from anxiety, and credits this change to a shift in perspective rather than trying to eliminate it. Tim shares his professional experience working with others who suffer from anxiety, highlighting the common desire to be rid of it. He provocatively questions what a world without anxiety would look like, suggesting that anxiety serves a purpose in signaling the importance of certain aspects of our lives.

05:00
πŸ€” Rethinking Anxiety: Beyond the Medical Model

In this paragraph, Tim addresses the common approach to treating anxiety as a medical issue and the limitations this presents. He empathizes with doctors who are not mental health specialists and are restricted by time, knowledge, and resources when treating anxiety. Tim criticizes the reliance on medication, which he views as a temporary patch with potential side effects and the risk of dependency. He argues that a medical solution is not appropriate for a non-medical problem like anxiety, which he frames as an emotion, not an illness. Tim emphasizes that emotions, including anxiety, are vital parts of the human experience and that labeling anxiety as an illness only exacerbates the problem.

10:01
🚒 The Mind as a Ship: Navigating Anxiety

Tim offers an analogy to help understand emotional responses, likening the mind to a ship with a captain representing the logical, conscious part of thinking, and the crew symbolizing the subconscious, which controls automatic responses and emotions. He explains that anxiety is an emotion triggered by the subconscious in an attempt to guide us toward happiness and away from danger. Tim points out that the subconscious operates based on life experiences, which can sometimes lead to mistakes in judgment. He encourages the audience to view anxiety not as an enemy but as a misguided attempt by the subconscious to protect us, and to listen to what it is trying to communicate.

15:02
🀝 Overcoming Anxiety: A Three-Step Approach

Tim outlines three steps he took to reduce his own anxiety. First, he stopped viewing himself as ill and recognized that anxiety is a response to specific triggers. Second, he began to listen to his subconscious, understanding that ignoring its messages only amplifies them. Third, he emphasizes the importance of being kind to oneself, as self-criticism can demoralize and lower self-esteem, leading to increased anxiety. Tim suggests that by treating oneself with kindness and positivity, one can empower the subconscious to work more effectively, thus reducing anxiety.

🌟 Accepting Anxiety: A Natural Part of Life

In the final paragraph, Tim discusses the importance of accepting anxiety as a natural part of life. He argues against the extremes of viewing anxiety as either a mental illness or something that can be easily dismissed. Tim shares his own continued experience with anxiety, using the example of feeling anxious about taking out the bins on dustbin day. He suggests that this level of anxiety is normal and not something to be feared. By accepting anxiety and treating it as a friend rather than an enemy, Tim believes that one can reduce the power it holds over us. He concludes by encouraging the audience to listen to their anxiety, as it may be trying to communicate something important.

Mindmap
Keywords
πŸ’‘Anxiety
Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. In the video's context, it is a central theme representing an emotion that the speaker, Tim Box, used to suffer from and now helps others overcome. The script discusses how anxiety is a natural response meant to signal that something is worth our attention, and it's not something to be eliminated but rather understood and managed. For example, Tim mentions feeling anxious about giving the talk and his past struggles with social anxiety.
πŸ’‘Suffer
To suffer means to experience pain, distress, or hardship. In the video, Tim Box talks about how he used to 'suffer with anxiety,' indicating that it had a significant negative impact on his life. The term is used to contrast the past experience of anxiety as a burden with the present understanding that anxiety can be a helpful signal rather than something to be eradicated.
πŸ’‘Emotions
Emotions are feelings that reflect a person's attitude or reaction toward something. The script emphasizes that emotions, including anxiety, are natural and vital parts of the human experience. Tim Box uses the analogy of a ship to explain how emotions like anxiety are triggered by the subconscious mind (the crew) to guide us towards what we perceive as happiness and safety.
πŸ’‘Subconscious
The subconscious mind refers to the part of our consciousness that is not in immediate awareness but can influence our thoughts and behavior. In the video, Tim Box describes the subconscious as the 'crew' on the ship of the mind, responsible for automatic responses, including emotions like anxiety. It operates based on past learning and experiences to steer us towards what it believes will result in happiness.
πŸ’‘Coping Mechanisms
Coping mechanisms are strategies or behaviors used to manage stress or difficult emotions. Tim Box discusses his past attempts to avoid anxiety-inducing situations and use distractions as coping mechanisms. However, he later realizes that these were not effective in dealing with anxiety and that understanding and listening to the underlying messages of anxiety are more beneficial.
πŸ’‘Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety disorders refer to a category of mental health conditions characterized by excessive and persistent anxiety or fear. The script challenges the notion of anxiety as an illness, suggesting that labeling anxiety as such can create additional anxiety and is not necessarily a helpful approach. Tim Box reflects on how being labeled with an anxiety disorder could have exacerbated his own feelings of anxiety.
πŸ’‘Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the value or confidence one has in oneself. In the video, Tim Box explains that a demoralized 'crew' (subconscious mind) leads to low self-esteem, which in turn can make one more susceptible to anxiety. He suggests that building oneself up with kindness and positivity can repair this damage and improve one's ability to manage anxiety.
πŸ’‘Empowerment
Empowerment is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life. Tim Box talks about the importance of treating the subconscious mind (the crew) with kindness and positivity, which he believes empowers it to better navigate the ship of the mind. This empowerment is seen as a key to managing and reducing anxiety.
πŸ’‘Dependency
Dependency refers to reliance on someone or something, often to an excessive degree. In the context of the video, Tim Box expresses concern about the potential for developing a dependency on anti-anxiety medication, which he views as a temporary solution that may lead to additional anxiety about the dependency itself.
πŸ’‘Acceptance
Acceptance is the act of embracing or approving something, often with the intention of moving forward. The video emphasizes the importance of accepting anxiety as a natural part of the human experience. Tim Box suggests that acceptance is the first step towards changing one's relationship with anxiety and reducing its negative impact.
Highlights

Tim Box admits to feeling anxious about his ability to communicate his message effectively.

He used to experience anxiety so severe it affected his daily activities, such as entering a room.

Box no longer suffers from anxiety, having learned to manage it rather than trying to eliminate it.

Anxiety is a natural emotion that signals when something is worth our attention.

Without anxiety, people might not feel compelled to attend important events or pursue relationships and careers.

Anxiety is often wrongly associated with being a mental illness, which can lead to unnecessary fear and stigma.

Doctors are not equipped to effectively treat anxiety due to time constraints, lack of specialized knowledge, and limited resources.

Medication is often prescribed for anxiety, but it can have side effects and may lead to dependency.

Box suggests that anxiety is not an illness but an emotion with a purpose, like all other emotions.

He uses the analogy of a ship to explain the relationship between the conscious mind (captain) and the subconscious mind (crew).

Anxiety is the emotion that tells us something is too important to lose focus on and requires our attention.

Our subconscious mind tries to steer us towards happiness, even if its methods sometimes cause discomfort.

Box emphasizes the importance of not viewing anxiety as an enemy but as a part of our emotional system.

He shares three main strategies he used to manage his anxiety: refusing to believe he was ill, listening to his subconscious, and being kind to himself.

Building self-esteem and a positive self-image can help reduce anxiety by empowering the subconscious mind.

Box concludes that it's normal and even beneficial to feel anxiety daily, as it indicates our subconscious is working to guide us.

He encourages the audience to listen to their anxiety as a form of guidance rather than a source of fear.

Box's talk ends with a message of hope, suggesting that understanding and accepting anxiety can lead to less suffering.

Transcripts
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