The 13 Truths - Matthew McConaughey [MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH]

Mulligan Brothers Interviews

9 Dec 201740:47

EducationalLearning

32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe speaker shares profound life lessons and personal experiences, emphasizing the importance of being less impressed with our achievements and more involved in the journey. He discusses the fallacy of the word 'unbelievable,' the pursuit of joy over happiness, and the significance of defining success on our own terms. The narrative explores the value of delayed gratification, the process of elimination in discovering our identity, and the power of gratitude. The speaker also stresses the importance of voluntary obligations, overcoming fear, and turning the page on past mistakes. He concludes by advocating for living in the present, embracing the process, and the courage to act on one's truth for a fulfilling life.

Takeaways

🎯 **Be Less Impressed, More Involved**: To improve at what you do, become less impressed with your accomplishments and more involved in the process.
🗣️ **Avoid the 'Unbelievable' Trap**: Recognize that human actions, both good and bad, are believable and part of our potential.
🚫 **Refrain from Entitlement**: Do not fall into the trap of feeling like a victim; instead, persevere and work hard for your rewards.
😃 **Pursue Joy Over Happiness**: Joy is a constant feeling derived from doing what you're meant to do, regardless of the outcome, while happiness is dependent on results.
🏆 **Define Success for Yourself**: Success is a personal measurement and should not be solely based on societal or financial standards.
🚫 **Eliminate Non-Essentials**: The process of elimination helps in defining your identity by focusing on what matters most to you.
📚 **Learn from Success and Failure**: Dissect your successes to understand what leads to them and learn from failures to improve.
🤝 **Create Voluntary Obligations**: Set personal guidelines and commitments that you hold yourself accountable to, regardless of external pressures.
👖 **Want, Don't Just Take**: Choose what you truly want, not just because it's available; be discerning in your decisions.
🏠 **Remove Self-Imposed Limits**: Avoid putting artificial ceilings on your potential; always strive for progress without limiting your aspirations.
🔄 **Turn the Page on Past Mistakes**: Acknowledge your errors, make amends, and then move forward without dwelling on guilt or regret.

Q & A

What is the main idea the speaker is trying to convey about our attitude towards life and accomplishments?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of becoming less impressed with our own lives, accomplishments, and prospects, suggesting that this shift in perspective can lead to better performance and satisfaction.
Why does the speaker argue that the word 'unbelievable' should not be used?
-The speaker believes 'unbelievable' undermines the reality and credit due to people's achievements or actions, whether positive or negative. Instead, he encourages using words like 'spectacular' or 'phenomenal' to acknowledge the reality of what has occurred.
How does the speaker redefine the concept of happiness and its relation to life outcomes?
-The speaker differentiates between happiness, which he sees as an emotional response to outcomes, and joy, which he describes as a constant feeling derived from doing what we are meant to do, regardless of the outcome.
What does the speaker suggest as a personal approach to defining success?
-The speaker advises defining success for oneself and checking in with personal values regularly. He shares his own definition, which includes fatherhood, being a good husband, health, career, and friendships, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a balance across these areas.
How does the speaker describe the process of elimination in relation to discovering one's identity?
-The speaker suggests that recognizing what we are not is the first step to discovering who we are. By eliminating aspects of life that do not align with our true selves, we can focus on what truly matters and shape our identity.
What is the significance of the speaker's story about his first big paycheck and the lesson he learned about 'wants' versus 'needs'?
-The story illustrates the idea that just because we have the ability to have something, it doesn't mean we should. The speaker learned to be discerning and to choose things because he truly wanted them, not just because they were available to him.
Why does the speaker advocate for the practice of delayed gratification?
-The speaker promotes delayed gratification as a means to make choices that pay back in the future, such as preparing in advance, maintaining good relationships, and avoiding actions that lead to regret or guilt.
How does the speaker relate the concept of dissecting successes to the practice of gratitude?
-The speaker suggests that focusing on our successes and being grateful for them can lead to more success. Gratitude can help us appreciate what's working in our lives and can create more to be thankful for.
What advice does the speaker give regarding voluntary obligations?
-The speaker encourages setting personal obligations that are self-imposed and not based on societal expectations. These obligations should be faith-based and kept for oneself, as they contribute to personal integrity and self-respect.
How does the speaker use the story of the Houston Oilers to illustrate a point about self-imposed limitations?
-The speaker uses the Oilers' loss as an example of how self-imposed limitations can lead to failure. He suggests that they lost because they put a 'roof' on their own expectations, causing them to lose focus and ultimately the game.
What is the main takeaway from the speaker's personal experience in Peru and how does it relate to the concept of truth?
-The speaker's experience in Peru taught him to be present and to appreciate what's in front of him without anticipating what's next. This realization helped him cross a personal truth, which he suggests comes from putting oneself in a place to receive clarity, personalizing it, internalizing it, and having the courage to act on it.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Embracing Life's Challenges and Defining Success

The speaker encourages the audience to embrace life's challenges and not to be overly impressed with personal achievements. They share insights from their own journey, emphasizing the importance of involvement and practice. The speaker criticizes the use of the word 'unbelievable' and encourages giving credit to people's capabilities, both good and bad. They discuss the nature of happiness and joy, suggesting that joy is a more sustainable state as it is not reliant on outcomes. The speaker also talks about defining success personally and not falling into the entitlement trap.

05:02

💼 Success, Money, and the Importance of Self-Definition

The speaker reflects on the cultural overemphasis on financial success and advises the audience to define success for themselves. They share a personal anecdote about a voodoo shop to illustrate the point that money shouldn't be the only measure of success. The speaker then explains their own definition of success, which includes fatherhood, being a good husband, health, career, and friendships. They stress the importance of maintaining a balance across these areas and not letting any one aspect suffer.

10:02

🚫 The Process of Elimination and Avoiding Distractions

The speaker discusses the importance of eliminating negative influences and distractions in life to find one's true identity. They recount a personal experience from their first acting job and how they learned to avoid unnecessary scenes in life. The speaker advises identifying what doesn't serve you and removing it from your life to make space for more positive experiences. They also touch on the concept of delayed gratification and its benefits in creating a better future.

15:03

💰 The Power of Gratitude and Voluntary Obligations

The speaker talks about the significance of being grateful for one's successes and the role it plays in creating more positive outcomes. They emphasize the need to learn from failures constructively. The speaker also introduces the concept of voluntary obligations—personal commitments to oneself that are not enforced by external authorities. These obligations are crucial for maintaining personal integrity and character.

20:03

🏠 From Can't to Want: Living Beyond人造 Limits

The speaker shares a personal story about receiving a large paycheck and the realization that just because something is possible doesn't mean it's desired. They learned to be discerning and to choose things because they truly want them, not just because they can have them. The story illustrates the importance of recognizing and removing self-imposed limitations, often referred to as 'roofs,' to achieve one's full potential.

25:05

🏈 The Perils of Complacency and the Importance of Continuous Growth

The speaker uses the example of a football game where a team's lead was squandered due to complacency. They relate this to personal experiences of 'choking' or failing to maintain excellence when success is within reach. The message is to stay hungry, avoid complacency, and to always strive for improvement without setting artificial limits on what can be achieved.

30:05

📖 Turning the Page on Past Mistakes and Learning from Obstacles

The speaker discusses the importance of acknowledging and owning up to one's mistakes, making amends, and then moving on without being held back by guilt or regret. They emphasize the need to give credit to our obstacles and fears, as acknowledging them is the first step in overcoming them. The speaker also shares a personal story of a transformative trip where they learned to live in the present and embrace what's in front of them, which led to personal growth and a deeper understanding of truth.

35:07

🧘 Finding and Embracing Truth in a Noisy World

The speaker reflects on a profound moment during a personal journey where they found clarity and forgiveness. They discuss the process of finding truth in a world full of distractions and the importance of putting oneself in a place to receive, personalize, internalize, and act on that truth. The speaker emphasizes the need for patience and courage to integrate the truth into one's life, leading to a state of fulfillment and alignment with one's purpose.

40:09

🚀 Living a Life of Purpose and Enjoying the Journey

The speaker concludes with a vision of a life where individuals enjoy the process of success, believe in themselves, and continuously strive for growth. They encourage living a life without the need for constant validation or the fear of failure, and instead, focus on personal development and self-acceptance. The speaker envisions a world where everyone is writing their own story, overcoming fears, and making friends with themselves.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Impressed

To be 'impressed' means to feel admiration or amazement for something or someone. In the context of the video, the speaker encourages the audience to become less impressed with their own lives and accomplishments, suggesting that this shift in perspective can lead to greater involvement and improvement in one's endeavors. For instance, the speaker mentions that being less impressed with career prospects can lead to better performance.

💡Unbelievable

'Unbelievable' is a term often used to describe something that is extremely surprising or difficult to believe. The speaker argues that using the word 'unbelievable' to describe acts of greatness or poor behavior can be limiting, as it implies disbelief rather than acceptance of the full spectrum of human capability. Instead, he suggests using words like 'spectacular' or 'phenomenal' to acknowledge achievements without disbelief.

💡Happiness vs. Joy

The speaker distinguishes between 'happiness' and 'joy'. Happiness is described as an emotional response to an outcome, contingent on specific results, whereas 'joy' is a constant feeling that arises from doing what one is meant to do, regardless of the outcome. The speaker's personal experience as an actor illustrates this, where he found more joy and subsequent success when he stopped focusing on external validation and focused on the process itself.

💡Success

Success is a term that is subjective and means different things to different people. The speaker emphasizes the importance of defining success for oneself, rather than adhering to societal standards that often equate success with wealth. He provides an example from his own life, where success is measured by fatherhood, being a good husband, health, career, and friendships. The speaker encourages the audience to maintain a balance across these areas to achieve personal success.

💡Process of Elimination

The 'process of elimination' is a method of identifying who we are by first recognizing who we are not. The speaker uses this concept to discuss self-discovery, suggesting that by eliminating aspects of life that do not align with our true selves, we can more clearly define our identity. An example from the script is the speaker's realization that he did not need to be in certain scenes of a film, which helped him understand his character better.

💡Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification refers to the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward in favor of a later, often greater reward. The speaker discusses the importance of making choices that may not provide instant satisfaction but will pay dividends in the future. He uses the metaphor of 'mailbox money' to illustrate how the work done today can yield benefits for years to come.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful or feeling grateful. The speaker suggests that focusing on gratitude can lead to a greater appreciation for one's successes and can create more to be thankful for. He contrasts this with an obsession with failure, which can lead to self-loathing. By practicing gratitude, one can dissect successes and learn from them, rather than being consumed by failures.

💡Voluntary Obligations

Voluntary obligations are commitments that one makes to oneself, not because of external pressures but out of a sense of personal integrity. The speaker discusses the importance of setting personal standards and holding oneself accountable to them, even when no one else is watching. These obligations are about self-respect and aligning one's actions with one's values.

💡From Can to Want

The transition 'from can to want' is about moving beyond what is merely possible ('can') to what is truly desired ('want'). The speaker illustrates this with a personal anecdote about realizing he didn't want certain luxuries just because they were available to him. This keyword is about discernment and making choices that align with one's genuine desires rather than external indicators of success.

💡Ceiling on Belief

A 'ceiling on belief' refers to an artificial limit one places on one's own potential or expectations. The speaker uses the example of a football game where a team's mindset led to their defeat, arguing that they lost because they put a limit on their belief in themselves. The message is to avoid self-imposed restrictions and to stay in the 'process', focusing on the journey rather than the finish line.

💡Truth

The concept of 'truth' in the video is about self-awareness and authenticity. The speaker describes a moment of personal clarity and acceptance, suggesting that truth is something that can be encountered when one is open and ready to receive it. He emphasizes the importance of personal reflection and being in the right mental state to recognize and embrace one's own truth.

Highlights

The sooner we become less impressed with our accomplishments and more involved in the process, the better we become at our endeavors.

Unbelievable is the stupidest word in the dictionary. Give yourself and others more credit - what you witnessed or achieved is real and believable.

Acknowledge mankind's capacity for greatness and evil, and do not be in denial about our own shortcomings.

Happiness is an emotional response to an outcome, while joy is a constant feeling from doing what you are meant to do, regardless of the result.

Define success for yourself and don't let societal values dictate what success means to you.

Process of elimination - knowing who you are not - is the first step to discovering who you truly are.

Eliminate excess options and wasted time to reveal what is truly important to you.

Delayed gratification leads to better long-term outcomes and a customized future.

Dissect your successes through gratitude, rather than focusing on failures.

Make voluntary obligations to yourself, not just obligations imposed by others.

Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Be discerning and choose what you truly want.

Don't put a limit on your own potential - play like an underdog and exceed your own expectations.

Turn the page and move on from mistakes. Own them, make amends, and then focus on the future.

Give credit to your obstacles and fears, admit them, and use them as motivation to overcome them.

Put yourself in a place to receive the truth, then personalize it, internalize it, and have the courage to act on it.

Live in a state of clarity, peace, and purpose where what you want is also what you need.

Transcripts

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