10 Examples of What Gaslighting Sounds Like
TLDRThis video from Psych2Go explains the concept of gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse where one person manipulates another into doubting their own reality, memory, or perceptions. Originating from the 1939 play 'Gas Light,' the term describes a scenario where a husband manipulates his wife's environment to make her question her sanity. The video provides ten examples of gaslighting phrases, emphasizing that not everyone who uses these phrases is a gaslighter, as the act is intentional. The video also advises seeking help if one suspects they have been a victim of gaslighting, and encourages viewers to like, share, and subscribe for more psychological insights.
Takeaways
- 📚 Gaslighting is a term that has gained prominence in media and refers to a form of emotional abuse where a person manipulates another into doubting their own reality, memory, or perceptions.
- 🎭 The term originates from Patrick Hamilton's 1939 play 'Gaslight,' where a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is insane by altering their environment and denying any changes.
- 🚫 Gaslighting involves intentionally leading someone to question their own experience, and it is not just about someone saying certain phrases without awareness.
- 🗣️ Phrases like 'What did I do to you?' can be a genuine question or a gaslighting tactic where the person is aware of the harm they've caused and feigns ignorance.
- 🤫 'The problem is you' is a gaslighting phrase that shifts blame onto the victim and shuts down conversation, often associated with victim blaming.
- 🙁 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is not a genuine apology and is used to make the victim feel like their feelings are the issue, rather than the offender's actions.
- 🧐 'I don't remember saying that. I think you made that up' is a common gaslighting tactic to make the victim doubt their own memory and experience.
- 🤔 'It's your anxiety that made me do the things I do' is a way for a gaslighter to deflect responsibility for their actions by blaming the victim's mental state.
- ❌ 'You need help' is used to imply that the victim is the one with the problem, avoiding the need for the gaslighter to address their own issues.
- 🤷♂️ 'It's your fault' is a phrase that gaslighters use to avoid taking responsibility and place blame on the victim, often leading to a cycle of blame.
- 😡 'You're too emotional' is a way to invalidate the victim's feelings and make them question their own identity and reactions.
- 🤐 'It's not a big deal' is a minimization tactic used by gaslighters to dismiss the impact of their actions on the victim and to silence their concerns.
- ❗ 'Why are you so defensive all the time? You're attacking me' is a phrase used to flip the narrative and make the victim feel like the aggressor when they challenge the gaslighter.
- 📢 Recognizing these phrases can help identify gaslighting behavior, but it's important to remember that not everyone who uses them is intentionally gaslighting.
- 💡 Seeking help or guidance is encouraged if someone suspects they have been a victim of gaslighting or if they are concerned about their own behavior.
Q & A
What is the origin of the term 'gaslighting'?
-The term 'gaslighting' originates from Patrick Hamilton's 1939 stage play 'Gaslight,' where a husband psychologically manipulates his wife by making her doubt her own perceptions.
How does gaslighting manifest in a relationship?
-Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one person leads another to question their own reality, memory, or perceptions by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that the other person is mistaken.
What is the significance of the play's title 'Gaslight' in relation to the act of gaslighting?
-The play's title 'Gaslight' alludes to the abusive husband's tactic of slowly dimming the gaslights in their home while pretending nothing has changed, to make his wife doubt her own perceptions.
How can the phrase 'What did I do to you?' be an example of gaslighting?
-In gaslighting, the phrase 'What did I do to you?' is used defensively by someone who is aware they have hurt the other person but pretends to be unaware, denying the impact they had and forcing the other person to question their experience.
What is the implication of saying 'Everyone around you isn't the problem, the problem is you' in the context of gaslighting?
-This phrase is an example of victim blaming, where the gaslighter shifts the focus onto the victim, making them feel like they are the problem even when the situation is outside of their control.
Why is the phrase 'I'm sorry you feel that way' not considered a genuine apology in the context of gaslighting?
-The phrase 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is used by a gaslighter to make the victim feel like their feelings are the issue rather than acknowledging and apologizing for their own actions or the impact on the victim.
How does a gaslighter use the phrase 'It's your anxiety that made me do the things I do' to justify their behavior?
-A gaslighter uses this phrase to shift responsibility for their negative behavior onto the victim's anxiety, avoiding accountability and implying that the victim's emotional state is the cause of the problem.
What does the phrase 'You need help' imply in the context of gaslighting?
-The phrase 'You need help' is used by a gaslighter to imply that the victim is the one with the problem, deflecting from their own issues and avoiding the need to address or resolve the situation.
How does the phrase 'It's your fault' contribute to the cycle of gaslighting?
-The phrase 'It's your fault' is a way for a gaslighter to deny responsibility for their actions or the situation, leading to a repetitive cycle where the victim may feel responsible even for things that are not their fault.
What is the purpose of saying 'You're too emotional' in the context of gaslighting?
-The phrase 'You're too emotional' is used to invalidate the victim's feelings and characteristics, making them question their own sense of identity and undermining their confidence.
How does the phrase 'It's not a big deal' minimize the impact of a situation on the victim?
-By saying 'It's not a big deal,' a gaslighter minimizes the significance of the victim's feelings and experiences, making the victim feel like they are overreacting or that their concerns are not valid.
What is the tactic used by a gaslighter when they say 'Why are you so defensive all the time? You're attacking me.'?
-This phrase is used by a gaslighter to deflect and flip the conversation, making themselves appear as the victim and the victim feel like they are the one in the wrong for defending themselves.
Outlines
😀 Understanding Gaslighting: Manipulation and Emotional Abuse
The first paragraph introduces the topic of gaslighting, a term that has gained prominence in media discussions. It explains that the concept originates from a 1939 play by Patrick Hamilton called 'Gaslight,' where a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her sanity. The term has since evolved to describe a form of emotional abuse where a person is led to question their own reality, memory, or perceptions. The paragraph provides a list of 10 examples of gaslighting language, emphasizing that not everyone who uses these phrases is necessarily a gaslighter. It clarifies that gaslighting is intentional and manipulative, and encourages seeking help if one suspects they have been a victim of it.
👋 Closing Remarks and Thanks
The second paragraph serves as a closing to the video, thanking the viewers for their time and for watching the video. It provides a brief and polite sign-off, indicating that the viewers will be joined again in the next video, maintaining a sense of continuity and engagement with the audience.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Gaslighting
💡Emotional Abuse
💡Victim Blaming
💡Anxiety
💡Defensive
💡Reality
💡Manipulation
💡Mental Health
💡Support
💡Responsibility
💡Apology
💡Self-Doubt
Highlights
Gaslighting is a term used frequently in media, but its meaning is often misunderstood.
The term originates from Patrick Hamilton's 1939 stage play 'Gaslight', where a husband manipulates his wife's perception of reality.
Gaslighting involves psychological manipulation to make someone doubt their own perceptions, memory, or reality.
It is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser intentionally leads the victim to question their own experiences.
Not everyone who uses certain phrases is a gaslighter; it's the intentional misuse of these phrases that defines gaslighting.
Example one of gaslighting is the phrase 'What did I do to you?', which can be used to feign ignorance and deny impact.
Phrase two, 'Everyone around you isn't the problem, the problem is you.', is a form of victim blaming.
The dismissive 'I'm sorry you feel that way.' is not a genuine apology and shifts the problem onto the victim's feelings.
Gaslighters might say 'I don't remember saying that. I think you made that up.' to make the victim question their own memory.
'It's your anxiety that made me do the things I do.' is a way for gaslighters to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Using 'You need help.' is a tactic to imply that the victim, not the gaslighter, is the one with the problem.
Blaming the victim with 'It's your fault.' is a common gaslighting technique to avoid accountability.
The phrase 'You're too emotional.' is used to invalidate the victim's feelings and make them question their identity.
Minimizing the impact on the victim with 'It's not a big deal.' is another way gaslighters dismiss the victim's concerns.
Accusing the victim of being defensive with 'Why are you so defensive all the time? You're attacking me.' is a way to flip the narrative and avoid confrontation.
Gaslighting is not just about the phrases used but the intentional and manipulative context in which they are said.
Seeking help or guidance is encouraged if someone suspects they have experienced gaslighting.
The video provides a list of studies and references for further understanding, available in the description.
Transcripts
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