To Approach or Not To Approach?: Why Men Donβt Approach Women Anymore | From Chivalry to Caution
TLDRThe video script explores the modern dynamics of dating, focusing on the reasons behind men's reluctance to approach women. It delves into the impact of the feminist movement, societal expectations, and the fear of false accusations in the #MeToo era. The script also touches on the challenges faced by certain women, such as those considered 'unattractive' due to age or weight, and emphasizes the importance of adapting to changing social norms while preserving personal values.
Takeaways
- πΆ Men are increasingly hesitant to approach women due to fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, especially in the current social climate.
- π₯ Traditional gender roles are being challenged, yet women still expect men to take the initiative in dating, creating a disconnect in expectations.
- π The societal shift in dating has led to a rise in 'situationships', which lack commitment and clarity, impacting how men and women interact.
- π The average age of marriage has increased significantly over the past decades, reflecting a change in societal norms and personal choices regarding marriage.
- π€ Women's complaints about not being approached by men may reflect a lack of approaches from men they are interested in, rather than a total absence of interest from men.
- π The feminist movement and sexual revolution have had complex effects on dating dynamics, with some arguing they have led to a culture of entitlement and unrealistic expectations.
- π The media and societal messages have contributed to the commodification of women, promoting a self-centered mindset that can be off-putting to potential partners.
- π« Men may avoid approaching women who they perceive as unattractive due to age, physical appearance, or social reputation, which can be influenced by biological factors and societal standards.
- π ββοΈ The 'unapproachable woman' may deter potential suitors by not displaying openness, such as smiling or engaging with her environment, making it difficult for men to initiate contact.
- π‘οΈ The #MeToo movement has raised awareness about sexual harassment but has also created a climate of fear where men are wary of being falsely accused, affecting their willingness to approach women.
- π In response to these challenges, some men are choosing to seek relationships in cultures that uphold more traditional values or focusing on personal growth and alternative sources of fulfillment.
Q & A
Why do some men avoid approaching women at social events?
-Some men may be afraid of saying the wrong thing in today's post-feminist era, where there is heightened awareness of inappropriate behavior and a potential for backlash.
What is the significance of the phrase 'if you don't change your approach, you will never change your results' in the context of the script?
-This phrase suggests that in order to achieve different outcomes, one must be willing to adapt their methods, which can be applied to dating dynamics where traditional approaches may no longer be effective.
How have traditional gender roles in dating evolved over time?
-Traditional gender roles, where men were expected to initiate and plan dates, have been challenged with the progress of gender equality. However, some societal expectations for men to take on these roles persist.
What is a 'situationship' and how does it differ from a traditional relationship?
-A 'situationship' is a type of relationship that lacks explicit commitment, exclusivity, or clarity about the future, despite involving activities and intimacy typical of dating or a relationship.
What societal factors have contributed to the increase in the average age of marriage over the past decades?
-Shifts in societal norms and personal choices, such as prioritizing education and career over early marriage, have contributed to the increase in the average age of marriage.
Why might some women feel that they are not approached by men?
-Some women may feel unapproached if men do not approach them in the way they prefer or if they are not approached by the men they are interested in, which can be influenced by various factors including personal preferences and societal standards.
What is the 'wall' mentioned in the script and how does it affect women as they age?
-The 'wall' refers to a societal perception where women become less attractive or desirable as they age, leading to a decrease in male attention and approaches, even for those who have aged well.
What impact has the feminist movement and sexual revolution had on dating dynamics?
-The feminist movement and sexual revolution have contributed to changes in societal expectations and personal freedoms. However, they have also led to misconceptions and challenges in dating, with some women feeling pressured into certain behaviors for perceived success and happiness.
How does the script suggest that societal programming influences women's self-perception and dating expectations?
-The script suggests that societal programming, including media and magazines, can create a narrative of self-centeredness and materialism, leading women to expect certain behaviors and standards from men that may not align with reality.
What are some of the risks men face when approaching women, as highlighted in the script?
-The script highlights the risk of false accusations, potential damage to reputation, career, and personal freedom as some of the significant risks men face when approaching women, especially in a climate of heightened sensitivity around sexual harassment.
What advice does the script offer for men navigating the current dating landscape?
-The script suggests that men can consider adapting to new cultural environments that uphold traditional values, learning new skills, or focusing on personal growth and meaningful connections outside of dating.
Outlines
π· The Changing Dynamics of Male Approaches
This paragraph discusses the current societal shift where men are less likely to approach women at social events. It attributes this to the fear of making a mistake in the post-feminist era and highlights the woman's perspective on the issue. The script also introduces the podcast 'whatever' as a foundation for a presentation that will delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and its impact on modern interpersonal relationships. Traditional gender roles, societal expectations, and the changing landscape of dating are mentioned as factors contributing to this trend.
π The Evolution of Dating Norms and Gender Roles
The paragraph explores the evolution of dating norms from the 1950s to the present, where traditional gender roles are challenged but still influential. It discusses the expectations placed on men to initiate dates and the societal pressures on women to be receptive. The script also touches on the concept of 'situationships,' which lack the commitment and clarity of traditional relationships, and how this affects the dating scene. The average age of marriage has increased significantly, indicating a shift in societal norms and personal choices regarding marriage.
πΌ Socioeconomic Factors Influencing Dating Behaviors
This section examines how socioeconomic factors and educational levels influence dating preferences and behaviors. It suggests that women's increasing education levels and career ambitions have led to a delay in starting families and seeking relationships. The script also addresses the impact of social media on mental health and self-perception, as well as the influence of media and societal narratives on women's expectations and men's approach behaviors.
π« The Impact of False Accusations and Social Fear
The paragraph discusses the impact of the #MeToo movement on the dating scene, highlighting the increased fear among men of being falsely accused of harassment or assault. It presents statistics showing men's reluctance to engage in one-on-one situations with women due to these fears. The script also touches on the potential consequences of false accusations, such as damage to reputation and career, and the challenges this poses to the traditional dating process.
πΆββοΈ The Unapproachable Woman and Her Challenges
This section identifies and describes different types of women who may be considered 'unapproachable' by men due to various reasons. It includes women who are aging and facing invisibility, overweight women who may not fit societal beauty standards, and women who have gained a negative reputation due to their actions or public personas. The paragraph also emphasizes the importance of body language and engaging with one's surroundings to appear more approachable.
π Navigating the New Era of Dating and Relationships
The final paragraph offers insights into navigating the current dating landscape, suggesting that men and women should be aware of the changing norms and expectations. It acknowledges the rarity of finding individuals with limited sexual experiences and emphasizes the importance of personal choices and actions. The script encourages embracing life's opportunities, learning, and making meaningful connections, while also considering the option of seeking relationships in cultures with traditional values.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Post-Movement Era
π‘Traditional Gender Roles
π‘Situationship
π‘Feminist Movement
π‘Sexual Revolution
π‘The Wall
π‘Pariah
π‘Me Too Movement
π‘Causality
π‘Attraction
π‘Rejection
Highlights
Men are increasingly hesitant to approach women due to fear of saying or doing the wrong thing in the post-feminist movement era.
The traditional gender roles of men initiating dates and women being receptive have evolved, yet expectations persist in modern society.
Women often expect men to plan dates and pay for them, reflecting a continuation of traditional dating norms.
The 'going steady' concept has shifted towards 'situationships', lacking commitment and clarity about the future of the relationship.
The average age of marriage has increased significantly over the past seven decades, indicating a societal shift in the timing of marriage.
The feminist movement and sexual revolution have contributed to the current dynamics of dating, with some suggesting they led to an illusion of sexual liberation for women.
The birth control pill and societal changes have given women more control over their bodies and sexuality, influencing dating behaviors.
Media and societal programming often promote a self-centered narrative, potentially deterring men from approaching women focused on materialistic possessions.
Men facing consistent rejection may become less likely to approach women, fearing further rejection and its impact on their self-esteem.
Attraction is not a choice, and men's preferences are often influenced by biological factors, such as a preference for younger women.
The 'wall' phenomenon suggests that as women age, they may become less attractive to men, leading to a decrease in being approached.
Overweight and obese women may find themselves less approached due to societal and biological preferences for physically fit partners.
Pariahs, or socially ostracized individuals, may be unapproachable due to their negative reputations, regardless of physical attractiveness.
Smiling and engaging with one's surroundings can make women more approachable, whereas phone usage and a serious demeanor can deter men.
The #MeToo movement has raised awareness of sexual harassment but has also created a climate of fear where men may be falsely accused.
The potential consequences of false accusations include damage to men's careers, reputations, and personal freedom.
Men are now more cautious about being alone with women or traveling with them due to the risk of false allegations.
The video suggests that adapting to new cultures or seeking traditional values in different countries can be a solution for men facing dating challenges in the West.
Finding joy in life's experiences, such as learning new skills or making meaningful connections, is encouraged as an alternative to focusing solely on romantic pursuits.
Transcripts
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