Trauma Causes Emotional Dysregulation: Here's How to Heal It

Crappy Childhood Fairy

15 Mar 202222:16

EducationalLearning

32 Likes 10 Comments

TLDRThe video script addresses the complex issue of emotional dysregulation, particularly in individuals with PTSD from childhood. It challenges the common advice to 'feel your feelings' by explaining how overwhelming emotions can dominate and disrupt one's life. The speaker offers practical strategies for managing intense emotions, such as recognizing the onset of dysregulation, slowing down interactions, and using physical techniques to regain control. The goal is to create a balanced emotional state that prevents further trauma and strengthens relationships, rather than simply expressing feelings without regulation.

Takeaways

😢 Emotional dysregulation is a common issue for individuals with PTSD from childhood, causing overwhelming feelings that can disrupt daily life.
🔥 The problem with emotional dysregulation is not a lack of feeling, but rather an overabundance that can be damaging and counterproductive.
🌪️ Emotional dysregulation can manifest as intense, inappropriate emotions that are disproportionate to the situation or occur at inappropriate times.
💡 The speaker suggests that simply 'feeling your feelings' is not always the solution and that self-regulation is crucial for those with complex PTSD.
🔄 Emotional dysregulation can lead to a cycle of emotional outbursts followed by flatness or numbness, which can further complicate healing.
👥 Relationships can be negatively impacted by emotional dysregulation, as intense emotions can strain connections and lead to isolation.
🛠️ The speaker provides various tools and techniques for managing emotional dysregulation, such as grounding oneself, slowing down interactions, and physical exercises.
🤯 Recognizing when you're becoming emotionally dysregulated is the first step towards self-regulation and preventing escalation.
📝 Writing down one's feelings and thoughts can be a therapeutic practice to manage and release intense emotions before communicating with others.
🏋️‍♀️ Physical activity can help in regulating emotions by reducing stress chemicals in the body and promoting a sense of calm.
🧠 Developing self-awareness and the ability to step back during emotional reactions is key to breaking the cycle of dysregulation and improving emotional health.

Q & A

What is the main issue with emotional dysregulation according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that emotional dysregulation is a significant problem for individuals with PTSD from childhood, as they often do not lack feelings but rather feel them too intensely and inappropriately, which can lead to life disruptions and further trauma.
How does the speaker describe the experience of emotional dysregulation?
-The speaker describes emotional dysregulation as being like a 'wrecking ball' or 'tornado' that causes chaos and destruction in its path, or alternatively, as a 'light bulb' that suddenly goes out, leaving the person feeling nothing at all.
What are some examples of emotional dysregulation provided in the script?
-Examples include crying at work, having an angry outburst during a customer service call, and feeling flat or numb after an emotional outburst, which can disrupt relationships and daily life.
How does the speaker illustrate the concept of emotional dysregulation with the airplane analogy?
-The speaker uses the airplane analogy to explain that emotional dysregulation is like an airplane taking off uncontrollably, and the goal is to keep the 'airplane on the ground,' meaning to maintain emotional stability and control.
What is the 'belly knob' technique mentioned in the script for managing emotional dysregulation?
-The 'belly knob' technique is a visualization method where one imagines a knob below their belly button that controls their emotional intensity. By dialing the knob down in their mind, they aim to reduce overwhelming emotions like tears or anger.
Why does the speaker advise against expressing anger through writing or speaking immediately?
-The speaker advises against immediate expression of anger because it can escalate emotional overwhelm, distort thinking, and lead to saying things that might be regretted later.
What is the purpose of the 'daily practice' writing technique mentioned in the script?
-The 'daily practice' writing technique is designed to help individuals get their fearful and resentful thoughts on paper and ask for them to be removed, which can help in calming the mind and reducing emotional dysregulation.
How does physical exercise play a role in managing emotional dysregulation according to the speaker?
-Physical exercise is suggested as a way to 'rinse' stress chemicals from the body, which can help in turning around the stress response and reducing the intensity of emotions during emotional dysregulation.
What is the significance of being in touch with one's body during emotional regulation?
-Being in touch with one's body helps to ground the individual in the present moment, allowing them to process sensory input and avoid being vulnerable to outbursts or saying things they don't mean.
How can self-awareness help in managing emotional dysregulation?
-Self-awareness allows an individual to recognize when they are entering a state of emotional dysregulation, enabling them to take steps to re-regulate before the situation escalates, thus preventing further emotional overwhelm.
What is the speaker's view on the common advice to 'just feel your feelings' for healing from trauma?
-The speaker suggests that simply feeling emotions intensely is not always the best advice, especially for those with complex PTSD, as it can lead to more damage. Instead, they advocate for self-regulation and having tools to manage emotions effectively.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Emotional Dysregulation in PTSD

The speaker discusses the common misconception that feeling and exploring emotions is the key to healing from trauma. However, for individuals with PTSD, particularly from childhood, the issue often lies in feeling emotions too intensely, leading to emotional dysregulation. This can cause life, relationships, and careers to be dominated by overwhelming emotions, which can be as damaging as being detached from one's feelings. Emotional dysregulation is likened to a destructive force that can create new traumas and exacerbate existing ones, leading to a vicious cycle of emotional instability.

05:00

🛑 Managing Emotional Dysregulation

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of self-regulation for individuals with complex PTSD and emotional dysregulation. It suggests that rather than simply encouraging the expression of feelings, it's more beneficial to develop tools to manage emotions effectively. The speaker provides practical advice on how to regain control during intense emotional reactions, such as recognizing the signs of emotional dysregulation, slowing down interactions, and using visualization techniques to prevent emotional outbursts. The goal is to create a calm space for communication and prevent the escalation of conflicts that can damage relationships.

10:01

🏋️‍♀️ Strategies for Emotional Regulation

This section offers various strategies for managing emotional dysregulation, including taking a break during intense conversations, engaging in physical exercise to reduce stress chemicals, and practicing grounding techniques like washing hands or taking a shower to reconnect with one's body and the present moment. The speaker also recommends writing as a daily practice to externalize and process emotions, which can lead to healing and improved emotional regulation.

15:03

🧘‍♀️ Developing Self-Awareness and Emotional Stability

The speaker discusses the importance of self-awareness in recognizing the onset of emotional dysregulation and taking steps to regain emotional stability. Techniques such as pausing conversations, seeking private space for self-regulation, and avoiding venting in a state of emotional upheaval are suggested. The paragraph also highlights the importance of physical regulation in tandem with emotional regulation for overall well-being and the ability to maintain centered calm awareness.

20:04

🔄 Redirecting Thoughts and Emotions for Positive Change

The final paragraph focuses on the importance of redirecting one's thoughts and emotions to foster positive change and maintain healthy relationships. It advises against expressing intense emotions in the moment, instead suggesting a postponement until a more regulated state can be achieved. The speaker encourages the use of tools and techniques to manage emotions and emphasizes the value of clarity and self-possession in communication. The goal is to enhance connections with loved ones over time through regulated and thoughtful interactions.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Emotional Dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation refers to the inability to effectively manage one's emotions, leading to intense emotional responses that are disproportionate to the situation. In the video, it is described as a 'wrecking ball' that can damage relationships and personal well-being. The script uses the metaphor of an airplane taking off to illustrate the uncontrollable nature of emotions when dysregulation occurs, emphasizing the importance of learning to 'keep the airplane on the ground' or maintaining emotional balance.

💡PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. In the context of the video, PTSD from childhood is linked to emotional dysregulation, where individuals may feel their feelings too intensely. The script mentions that the problem isn't a lack of feeling but rather an overload of emotions that can be overwhelming and counterproductive to the healing process.

💡Complex PTSD

Complex PTSD, also known as C-PTSD, is a more severe form of PTSD that results from prolonged exposure to trauma, often experienced in childhood. The video discusses how emotional dysregulation can be a symptom of complex PTSD, where individuals might experience emotional flatness or numbness following an outburst, indicating a disrupted emotional state that is not in balance.

💡Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is the process of managing one's own behavior, emotions, and thoughts. The video emphasizes the importance of self-regulation for individuals with emotional dysregulation, suggesting that gaining control over emotions can prevent the escalation of conflicts and the creation of new traumas. The speaker provides practical tools and techniques for self-regulation, such as recognizing the onset of emotional dysregulation and taking steps to calm oneself before reacting.

💡Restraint of Pen and Tongue

Restraint of pen and tongue is a concept mentioned in the script that advises against expressing oneself in writing or speech when angry. The idea is to prevent escalation and the communication of distorted thoughts that may lead to regret. This concept is tied to the broader theme of self-regulation, highlighting the importance of pausing and calming down before engaging in communication that could exacerbate emotional dysregulation.

💡Daily Practice

The 'Daily Practice' is a technique introduced in the video for managing emotions by writing them down as a form of emotional release. It is presented as a daily exercise that can help individuals process their feelings in a controlled manner, thus avoiding the negative impacts of emotional dysregulation. The script suggests that this practice can lead to life-changing healing by providing a safe and effective way to express and manage emotions.

💡Physical Regulation

Physical regulation involves the management of one's physiological responses to stress or emotional triggers. The video mentions activities like hard exercise and washing hands as methods to reduce stress chemicals and bring the body back to a regulated state. This concept is integral to the overall message of the video, which is that emotional and physical regulation go hand in hand in achieving a balanced emotional state.

💡Neurological Regulation

Neurological regulation refers to the control and management of the nervous system's responses. In the video, it is discussed in conjunction with emotional and physical regulation, emphasizing the interconnectedness of the body and mind. Techniques for neurological regulation, such as being in touch with one's senses and grounding oneself in reality, are presented as essential for overcoming emotional dysregulation.

💡Urgency

In the context of the video, urgency is described as a feeling that can be a cue for emotional dysregulation, particularly in individuals with CPTSD. The script advises that a sense of urgency is not always reliable and that it is often beneficial to pause and regulate emotions before addressing the situation. This concept is used to illustrate the importance of timing and self-awareness in managing emotional responses.

💡Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is a term used to describe the expectation to always maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of legitimate struggles or negative emotions. The video contrasts this with the concept of redirecting one's thoughts to a clearer mental space, which is not about suppressing feelings but rather about postponing their expression until a more appropriate time. This approach is presented as a healthier alternative to toxic positivity, allowing for more genuine and constructive communication.

Highlights

Emotional dysregulation can be more damaging than being out of touch with feelings, as it can dominate and negatively impact various aspects of life.

Individuals with PTSD from childhood may feel their feelings too intensely, leading to emotional overload.

Emotional dysregulation is likened to a wrecking ball or tornado, causing destruction in its path.

Complex PTSD can manifest as emotional flatness after outbursts, indicating a symptom of emotional dysregulation.

Emotional dysregulation can lead to saying things one doesn't mean, creating new traumas and a vicious cycle.

An example of emotional dysregulation is an intense reaction to a partner forgetting an event, causing an argument.

The idea that feeling emotions is the solution may not be helpful for everyone, especially those with CPTSD.

Self-regulation and control over emotions are crucial for individuals with CPTSD to prevent overblown conflicts.

Learning to manage emotions before they become intense can prevent overreactions and maintain calm.

A friend visualizes emotional dysregulation as an airplane taking off, and keeping it on the ground as regulation.

Noticing when an emotional reaction is happening is the first step to self-regulation.

Slowing down interactions can reduce overwhelm and help recover perspective.

A trick to control tears is to imagine a 'belly knob' that can be turned down to reduce emotional intensity.

When angry, it's advised not to communicate immediately to prevent escalation and regret.

Taking time to express oneself calmly can lead to more effective communication and stronger relationships.

Daily practice of writing emotions on paper can help manage emotional dysregulation and promote healing.

Physical exercise can help rinse stress chemicals from the body and assist in emotional regulation.

Washing hands or taking a shower can provide a tactile experience to ground oneself and return to the present.

Developing self-awareness to recognize and pull back from emotional dysregulation is key to change.

Talking with a trustworthy person can provide outside perspective and help with emotional regulation.

Redirecting thoughts to a clearer mental space can help when intense thoughts keep coming during regulation.

Postponing the expression of feelings until a more regulated state can lead to more elegant and fair communication.

Transcripts

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Related Tags

Emotional Regulation Mental Health PTSD Healing Strategies Self-Awareness Stress Management Conflict Resolution Coping Skills Emotional Intelligence Trauma Recovery