WEBINAR: Children Caught in Invisible Chains: Coercive Control Domestic Abuse & Children

Ashley Rumshlock, CEO of Teresa's Fund and DomesticShelters.org, introduces the presentation along with her colleagues Rachel Myers and Hannah Craig. They express excitement about discussing coercive control and its impact on children with expert Lisa Aaron Synfontes. The webinar is expected to attract over a thousand attendees, reflecting the interest in learning and improving support for domestic violence professionals. The presentation will last for 75 minutes, including a Q&A session. Live closed captioning is available, and participants can submit questions through the Q&A box. Ashley also highlights a discreet access feature on DomesticShelters.org for clients to protect their search history.

Ashley discusses the resources available on DomesticShelters.org, including a mobile website with covert access for victims and survivors of domestic violence. She also mentions a previous webinar by Lisa on coercive control and encourages checking out additional resources by other experts in the field. Lisa is introduced as a regular contributor to DomesticShelters.org and the author of 'Invisible Chains,' a book about overcoming coercive control in intimate relationships. Lisa begins her talk by acknowledging the broad scope of the topic and the overlap between intimate partner abuse and child abuse, emphasizing the importance of understanding coercive control and its effects on children.

Lisa delves into the concept of coercive control, differentiating it from traditional views of domestic violence that focus on physical episodes of abuse. She explains that coercive control is a multi-faceted strategy that includes various forms of abuse and happens over time, trapping the victim through deprivation of resources. The tactics of coercive control are explored, including isolation, sexual coercion, intimidation, economic abuse, degradation, and stalking, among others. Lisa also discusses the impact of these tactics on children and the importance of recognizing the subtle yet harmful nature of non-physical forms of abuse.

The discussion highlights the significant overlap between child abuse and domestic abuse, with children in homes where domestic abuse occurs being at a much higher risk of experiencing abuse or neglect. Lisa emphasizes that exposure to domestic abuse is traumatizing for children, regardless of whether they witness physical violence directly or simply sense the threat and tension. The effects of this trauma on children's mental and physical health are discussed, including the potential for long-term consequences.

Lisa addresses the psychological impact on children who are exposed to domestic abuse and coercive control. She discusses the various ways children can be affected, including feeling fear, experiencing guilt, and developing physical ailments. The adverse childhood experiences (ACES) study is referenced to emphasize the long-term health effects of such exposure. The importance of understanding the dynamics of control and the potential for children to learn harmful lessons about relationships and power is also highlighted.

The narrative focuses on the violation of boundaries by abusers, both in relationships and with children. It is explained that abusers who harm a partner are also likely to harm children and that the cycle of abuse often continues as the abuser's self-centered needs and lack of empathy affect their parenting. The situation is further complicated when the abuser continues to exert control post-separation, causing distress and maintaining a state of fear in the victim and their children.

Lisa outlines the different forms of post-separation abuse, including the manipulation of visitation schedules, legal abuse, and custody issues. She provides examples of how abusers use children as a means of control and revenge against the other parent, highlighting the complexity of navigating legal systems that sometimes fail to protect victims and children. The discussion underscores the importance of recognizing the ongoing harm caused by abusers even after the relationship has ended.

The presentation examines legal abuse, where the court system is used as a tool for further abuse by the domestic abuser. It discusses the emotional and financial toll of constant litigation on victims and children, the stress of repeated court appearances, and the fear induced by false accusations. The effects on children are detailed, including their feelings of being pawns in the legal battle, the impact on their mental health, and the long-term consequences of exposure to such traumatic experiences.

Lisa provides guidance on how to support children and teens exposed to a parent's coercive control. She emphasizes the importance of safety, counseling, and empowering non-abusive parents. The discussion includes the significance of creating a safe and nurturing environment, the role of education and legal systems in addressing and preventing abuse, and the potential for healing and resilience in children despite their traumatic experiences.

The session concludes with an interactive Q&A where Lisa addresses various questions from the audience. Topics include the impact of labeling abusive behavior, the effects of speaking negatively about non-abusive parents, and the challenges of co-parenting with an abusive ex-partner. Lisa's responses provide thoughtful considerations and practical advice for navigating complex family dynamics and legal situations.

Ashley thanks Lisa for her insightful presentation and opens the floor for any final questions. She also introduces a brief demonstration by Whitley from CAP60, a software solution for victim services agencies. Ashley reminds participants that the webinar will be followed up with a recording, transcript, and certificate of attendance, and encourages call-in listeners to provide their email for these materials.